Step 1: Go to his office
Step 2: distract him
Step 3: Put a fish on his desk
Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk"
Step 5: Break his kneecaps
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?
Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as 
team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in Spawn.
team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in Spawn.
Dance party
░░┌──┐░░░░░░░░░░┌──┐░░
░╔╡▐▐╞╝░░┌──┐░░╔╡▐▐╞╝░
░░└╥╥┘░░╚╡▌▌╞╗░░└╥╥┘░░
░░░╚╚░░░░└╥╥┘░░░░╚╚░░░
░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░ DANCE PARTY
░░┌──┐░░░░░░░░░░┌──┐░░
░╔╡XX╞╝░░┌──┐░░╔╡XX╞╝░
░░└╥╥┘░░╚╡XX╞╗░░└╥╥┘░░
░░░╚╚░░░░└╥╥┘░░░░╚╚░░░
░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░░░░░░░░
10 years since Dota 2 update
twitchquotes:
１０ ｙｅａｒｓ ｓｉｎｃｅ Ｄｏｔａ ２ ｕｐｄａｔｅ． Ｉ ｗａｌｋ ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ ｔｈｅ ｅ ｍｐｔｙ ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ ｔｒｙｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｔｈｉｎｋ ｏｆ ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ ｅｌｓｅ ｂｕｔ Ｉ ａｌｗａｙｓ ｅｎｄ ｕｐ ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ ｈｅｒｅ， ｉｎ ｆｒｏｎｔ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｃｏｍｐ ｕｔｅｒ． Ｉ ｓｔａｒｅ ａｔ ｔｈｅ ｓｃｒｅｅｎ ｆｏｒ ｈｏｕｒｓ ａｎｄ ｔｒｙ ｔｏ ｓ ｕｍｍｏｎ Icefrog． Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｏｔｈｅｒ ｇａｍｅｓ ｕｐｄａｔｉｎｇ ａｎｄ ｇｅ ｔｔｉｎｇ ｎｅｗ ｈｅｒｏｅｓ ｂｕｔ ｉｔ ｉｓ ｎｏ ｇｏｏｄ． Ｉ ｃｏｕｎｔｅｒ ｐｉｃｋ Ｓｎｉｐｅｒ ｔｏ ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｔｈｅ ｍｅｔａ， ｂｕｔ ｉｔ'ｓ ａｌｌ ｍｅａｎｉｎｇｌｅ ｓｓ． Ｔｈｅ ｅｎｄ ｉｓ ｎｅａｒ． Ｔｈｅｎ Ｉ ｌｏｏｋ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｐａｔｃｈ－ｕｐｄａ ｔｅ ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ ａｎｄ ｃｒｙ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｔｏ ｓｌｅｅｐ．
twitch chat
SingSing
Dota 2
You subs are still plebs
twitchquotes:
You subs are still plebs, in the eyes of the elite, everyone is a pleb. Just because you paid 5 dollars to watch free entertainment dosent mean you arent a pleb. I like how subs try to make themselves feel better by calling everyone else plebs, because they pay 5 dollars a month to spam stupid emotes and have a little icon next to their name.
twitch chat
plebs vs subs
Crazy anime girl
⠄⠄⣠⠞⠁⢠⡞⣡⡴⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠓⠶⣤⣙⢦⡙⢦⡀⠄⠄
⢀⡔⠁⠄⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣆⠙⡄⠄
⠋⠄⠄⣼⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⡜⣆
⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⡏
⢤⣰⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⠟⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⣿⠉
⠄⣼⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣼⣉⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⣼⠏⠄⠹⠄⠙⣿⣦⠄⠄⣿⠄
⠄⠛⡿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⠋⠿⠋⠻⣦⣝⠻⣦⣤⡾⢃⣠⡴⠆⠄⢸⠟⣿⣷⣄⡇⠄
⠄⠄⡇⠹⣦⣀⣼⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⣻⣶⣿⣟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⡟⠘⠿⠄⠄
⠄⠄⡇⠄⣿⢿⡇⣷⠄⠄⣠⣴⠾⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙⠛⠶⣤⡄⠄⢸⠄⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢠⠇⠄⣿⣸⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢸⡇⢸⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢸⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⢿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⠃⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄
⠄⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠛⠷⢦⣴⠶⠟⠁⠄⣠⣾⣇⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄
⢠⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠲⢤⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⡇⠄⠄
⣼⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⣿⣤⣤