[Copypasta] How to prank your school principle

Step 1: Go to his office Step 2: distract him Step 3: Put a fish on his desk Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk" Step 5: Break his kneecaps
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

DONALD TRUMP NUDES

twitchquotes: IF ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ YOU ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ SEE ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ A LINK ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ THAT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ SAYS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ DONALD ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ TRUMP ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ NUDES ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ DONโ€™T ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ CLICK ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ITS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ A ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ VIRUS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ THAT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ PUTS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ AMERICAN ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ FLAGS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ BETWEEN ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ EVERY ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ WORD ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ YOU ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ TYPE
twitch chat
October 2020

Dude I own this NFT

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think you can get away with theft when you're showing what you stole directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.
November 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Bender demends a voltron deck

twitchquotes: ยฆฬต ฬต ฬต ฬต ฬต(ฬข ฬกโ””ฬ…โ”˜อ‡ (โ–ค8ื›โˆ’โ—ฆ BENDER demands a VOLTRON deck
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Greetings r/atheism

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us. That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth! Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome. Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing