Decided I will no longer be paying taxes. What are they gonna do, tax me more? Go ahead.
I wont pay those either
Oh im going to prison?
The one paid for by my tax dollars?
Sorry. Didn't pay em. Now there is no prison.
I am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Hello Kripp, this is your mother
twitchquotes:
Hello kripp. This is your mother, I saw that "brofist" you just gave to one of your subscribers. Don't make me come to Athens and make you give him a better brofist. Haven't I taught you better fisting? Love always, mum
twitch chat
Kripp
I used to work at an abortion clinic
I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
ā¢ ā A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
ā¢ ā A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
ā¢ ā They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
ā¢ ā One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
ā¢ ā The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
ā¢ ā The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
ā¢ ā The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
ā¢ ā The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
ā¢ ā During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
NSFW
you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about
twitchquotes:
you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about 
you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about
twitch chat
Classic
Moderators you have no right to ban me
twitchquotes:
Dear moderators. You have no right to ban me or remove my messages. Do you even know who my father is? He is a very powerful and rich man. I strongly advise you not to mess with me or consequences will be met in court. I hope you understand all the seriousness of the situation. Have a good day.
twitch chat
MODS
My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)
At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocadoās asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". Theyāve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriendās brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking heās keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesnāt know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brotherās LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. Iām literally pissing myself as I write this.