[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
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Intellectual simp for Pokimane

twitchquotes: Hello, Miss Poki! I was scrolling through your page per usual and I happened to notice you take a plentiful amount of photos with your feet inframe and show them off quite a lot during streams. Is this on purpose? If so, please don't be embarrassed by my intellect! I think it is rather cute. I have subscribed to you for another month and was wondering if I could have secret access to some photos of your adorable soles? If not, I understand. You are a very busy woman and I am no more than a guy on the internet with a ravishingly high IQ might I add. Thank you for reading my message and have a wonderful day!
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October 2021
Pokimane

Simps

Kripp can't beat anyone

twitchquotes: My dad beats me FeelsBadMan My mom beats me FeelsBadMan My brother beats me FeelsBadMan My sister beats me FeelsBadMan At least I feel safe with Kripp, because he can't beat anyone FeelsGoodMan
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September 2016
Kripp

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Ratge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⣻⣻⠁⠀⡄⠬⠍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⡔⠛⠛⠒⠦⠀⠈⠛⢄⣈⣧⠤⣀⠀⠘⣾⢛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠔⠉⡈⠉⠛⡷⠁⣤⡀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⣸⠻⡆⠀⠈⠀⣿⣩⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡶⣾⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠿⠞⠀⠀⠀⡦⣈⣁⣠⣔⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣹⠃⠀⠀⣀⡀⡀⠀⢰⡀⠸⣑⢤⣀⣠⡤⠎⠙⠲⠯⣭⡋⠛⠿⣿⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢉⠟⠉⠛⢯⣛⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣄⣀⣹ ⣿⡏⠈⠉⠉⢹⠉⠙⣭⣉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠒⠒⣒⣚⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⡀⠉⠙⠓⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠛⢛⣉⣉⣭⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠓⠖⠲⠒⠒⣛⣭⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠚⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2021

Spider-Dong

twitchquotes: ─=≡Σ/╲/( ͡ʘ ͜U ͡ʘ)/\╱\ ᕕ༼ ºل͟º༽ᕗ Help me, I'm being chased by Spider-Dong!! /╲/( ͡ʘ ͜U ͡ʘ)/\╱\ ᕕ༼ ºل͟º༽ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Amaz

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

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