[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripp likes his relationships the way he likes games, casual

twitchquotes: 'Pls,' says the Rania, begging Kripp to propose to her. 'My family will be forevr shamed if we no marry.' But the Kripparrian doesn't respond. Instead, he continues playing hearth of stone, the game of casuals. He is too afraid of commitment in a hardcore relationship. Because in the end, the Kripparrian likes his relationships the way he likes his gamesβ€”casual.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

Elephant

β–‘β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“(O)β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ
November 2014

Two beefy cholos

twitchquotes: tbBaconBiscuit Asked for two beefy cholos at taco bell, I'm so embarrassed, I thought it was a menu item, instead two chefs came out from the back and massaged my prostate tbBaconBiscuit
twitch chat
March 2016
Dyrus

How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing