[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
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My friend Kappa needs your help

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Keepo and I want to ask you something. My friend Kappa needs your help. He wants to find some more Kappa friends. So please, spam Kappa as much as possible in the chat, so that my friend Kappa could find more of his Kappa friends. It makes a big difference, thank you!
twitch chat
August 2014
Pokimane

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

N-word pass

⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢰⣄⠀⠻⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣦⡀⠈⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⢀⡈⠉⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⢀⣀⣀⠈⠹⡇⠀⣶⣤⡄⠈⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⠀⢻ ⣿⡇⠀⠟⢀⠈⢻⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⡇⠀⠉⠉⢀⣰⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠀⣸ ⣿⡇⠀⣠⣾⣷⡀⠀⢸⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⢀⣰⡇⠀⣷⣤⡀⠙⣿⠀⢸⣿⠿⠁⢠⣿ ⣿⣷⠾⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢷⣴⣿⣿⡿⠶⠛⠤⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣶⣦⠀⢸⡿⠁⠀⢹⣿⡏⢀⣤⣀⣿⣿⡟⠀⣠⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠘⠋⠁⣠⣾⠃⢠⡇⠀⢻⣧⣀⠉⠙⠛⢿⣧⣀⣀⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣾⣿⣿⠇⢀⣠⣤⡄⠈⣿⣿⢿⣷⡆⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠆⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣼⣿⣿⣯⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣄⣸⣧⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⡉⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

FeelsRainMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠖⠀⣀⡈⢭⣉⠩⣭⣉⣐⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠙⢋⣴⠞⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣦⡙⢿⠟⣡⣾⣶⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠻⢿⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠿⣿ ⢿⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣍⠻⠌⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⣭⣭⣥⣌ ⡶⢀⣾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢀⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⢴⣶⣬⣬⣈⣵⣾⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣥⣥⣶⠖⠀⠀⠤⠂⠀⠒⠠⢥⡠⠤⠤⢄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⢿⡿⢫⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠦⠂⠉⠉⠵⠄⠤⠀⠐⠒⠌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠤⣶⠆⠂⠍⠻⢷⣾⡏⠑⠀⢹⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠒⡒⠖⠂⠁⠀⣀⡀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡙⢿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣝⣒⣶⠦⠤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠤⢶⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠀⠠⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢴⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⢛⢛⣿⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠷⠦⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⠤⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

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