[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015

Shaco

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⣉⠛⢦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠐⢉⡉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⣠⠶⠛⠋⠁⠉⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠈⠻⢶⣤⣀⣀⣽⡆⠘⣿⠇⠀⢸⠀⢀⣠⡴⠞⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⣀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠃⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⣺⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⡗⢦⣀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣤⢚⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠰⠀⢻⠳⢾⣯⣸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠘⣡⡖⢻⠃⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⠀⢷⠀⡈⠻⣿⠀⠀⡠⠚⠀⢷⠃⢰⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢆⠘⡄⡁⢀⠉⠦⠊⣁⠴⢁⠄⠐⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣆⠈⢇⠨⠉⠰⠈⠁⢀⠏⠀⠰⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠹⡇⠈⢧⡀⢠⠀⣠⠋⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠘⠿⠇⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2020

League of Legends

Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS

twitchquotes: Chat. My son is watching kripp. Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS . It's not good for a kid to see that. He might be curious about tasting a glorious *** in the future. I dont want that.
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

KappaPride

twitchquotes: KappaPride = Rainbow face (no space)
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

Your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST

twitchquotes: Listen up you fucking assholes, your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST if it weren't for MTG, the fucking king of card games. It was the first and the best. Literally everything you love would not be here if Richard Garfield didn't create MTG in 1993. Pokemon, Yugioh, Hearthstone ALL WOULD NOT EXIST. So THINK TWICE next time you call this is a Hearthstone copy...
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing