[Copypasta] I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Pepe flex

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⡶⠿⢘⣥⠢⠐⠗⣹⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣅⣂⠹⣪⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⢭⡻⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⡀⠄⣭⣧⣾⡿⠿⡋⢅⡪⠅⣢⣿⡿⠟⢁⣶⣶⣶⣤⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄ ⢠⣴⣿⣿⣟⣤⣤⡉⠭⣑⡨⢔⣊⣵⣶⡿⠛⢉⣴⡾⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣦⡀ ⣼⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⢰⢰⠌⣻⣭⣭⣶⡷⣠⡤⠶⠾⠛⢓⣒⣮⣝⡻⠸⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣝⢶⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢏⣸⡄⢻⡿⣿⣟⣵⠶⢛⣛⣛⣛⡒⠦⣝⠿⣿⣦⡙⣿⡿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣜⡿⣿⣄⢓⡘⠃⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⣶⣅⢺⣿⡇⠻⠁ ⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣷⣾⣝⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣛⣿⡟⣢⢻⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⣦⣵⡾⢃⣾⣿⣿⢱⡿⣸⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣛⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⠇⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠲⣝⣫⣓⡙⣿⣜⣛⣛⣛⣻⡯⠹⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⢻⡈⢿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2021

Pepe

LOL rage face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣤⣤⠤⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⡿⠿⢲⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⠟⠁⢀⣤⣾⣿⠟⠋⣉⣀⣀⣀⣈⣉⣩⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡟⠁⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠏⠠⠞⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠁⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⠏⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⢛⣿⣿⣤⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠳⣶⣶⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣦⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠉⠀⠈⠛⠿⠶⣦⣤⣴⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠁⢀⣀⣤⣀⡀⠀⠙⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠴⠖⢻⣿⠃⢀⣴⡿⠉⠉⠉⠻⣦⠀⠀⢿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠖⠀⣠⣿⠃⠀⣼⡿⣿⡟⢲⡶⣤⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠿⢯⣥⣤⣤⣤⠖⠀⣿⡏⠀⢰⣿⣀⣿⣀⣸⣀⣿⣉⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠂⣼⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠈⣧⠀⠸⡆⠀⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠸⣧⠀⣷⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠘⣷⣻⡇⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠾⠿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠲⢶⣬⡙⠻⣦⠀⠀⢀⡿⠁⢸⡟⠉⠙⠓⠲⣄⠀⢸⣷⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⢻⡟⣧⠀⠀⠸⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠻⢦⣄⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣆⠀⠈⢷⡘⣧⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⡀⠙⠷⠀⣿⠀⠀⣿⠶⠶⡶⠶⡶⢶⠶⢿⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠻⣿⡷⣤⣀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⣄⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⣧⣸⣧⣤⡇⢸⣆⣼⡏⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣧⡀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠉⠓⢦⣀⠈⠻⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣅⠀⠈⠉⢙⣻⡟⠀⠀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠶⣤⣽⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⣼⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⣤⣼⣿⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠓⠶⠶⠶⠆⠀⠉⠛⠛⢻⣾⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣶⡶⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⠾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

The LGBTQ future

twitchquotes: The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat
July 2020

Based

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
March 2021

Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
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