Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nookโs Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nookโs tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies.
Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dadโs Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
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Only the chosen one can wield this sword...
twitchquotes:
๐ |๐ ๐ ๐ |=========> ๐โ๐๐ ๐โ๐ผ โโ๐๐๐ผโ ๐โ๐ผ โ๐ธโ ๐๐๐ผ๐๐ป ๐โ๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ป ๐ธโ๐ป โ๐๐ ๐น๐ผ ๐๐๐ธ๐โ ๐ฝ๐โ ๐๐๐๐โ ๐น๐ ๐๐'๐ โ๐๐๐ผโ. ๐ธโ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐โ๐ผ โโ๐๐๐ผโ ๐โ๐ผ? โ๐โ๐ ๐โ๐๐ โ๐ธ๐๐๐ธ ๐ธโ๐ป ๐ฝ๐โ๐ป ๐๐๐!
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Kripp
I once had sleep paralysis
twitchquotes:
i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
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Kripp
COCKtober emojipasta v4
you are not old, mate
Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers
It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.