[Copypasta] I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018

Tesla is undervalued

Currently Tesla share price is only valued for the next 200 years but studies have shown that Earth will survive another 1 billions years before the Sun dies out. Thus You don't have to be genius to figure out Tesla is heavily undervalued and it's current value factors in only the very short time. I am kinda retarded to be able to do the math but trust me it's heavy money. Factor in the when Zuckenberg calls in his species and that planet will be another market for Tesla that's more clients for Tesla and it will sky rocket. Get in before it's late
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Only three more COVID variants until Sigma

MASKS UP😷 AND TITS OUT💯👏🙌ONLY THREE MORE COVID🦠VARIANTS🤤UNTIL SIGMA ΣΣ😩 You know what that means you 🅱OOSTED💉SLUTS👅👀 It’s time to get on that COVID Grindset™ before you get 🤯infected🍆🍆🍆by the SUPERIOR😤variant‼‼ The sixth 6️⃣wave🌊👋 is CUMMING💦💦📈🅱eta males at the bottom😓👇of the corona🍺sexual🥵 hierarchy 🏆 should ☠prepare to get FUCKED🍑🍆this time⌛ by the extra👌large🤪spike👆protein mutation☢🤤😫 Send this to 1️⃣9️⃣ of your most IMMUNO⛔COMPROMISED🚫😨😨 friends💩otherwise😳there will be💀 another VERY long📏🍆LOCK🔐DOWN🙈‼‼
December 2021

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

How Trump can still win

How Trump can still win: under section 34 of Secure Credits and Taxes act, the president can induce artificial inflation and if the inflation gets high enough, technically Trump can declare emergency powers and not leave the office, google "Trump SCAT inflation rule 34" for more info
December 2020

2020 US Election

gachiGASM hands up

⠄⡄⡆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣠⠄ ⢱⣼⣿⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⡰⠅⢀⣴⣾⡿⠿⢷⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡝ ⠸⣿⣿⠗⠋⠄⠄⠠⠂⠄⣿⣿⡧⢒⣂⣼⣿⣄⡚⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠲⣿⣿⡯ ⠄⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣩⣤⣵⡠⡺⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠃ ⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⡘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠋⠖⠚⠂⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⣏⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡲⠾⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⡟⠄ ⠄⢹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢫⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠓⠓⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⠁⠄ ⠄⠈⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠹⠇⠄⠄⠄⠺⠿⠿⠏⠄⠄
November 2018

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing