Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies.
Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
I used to be a real ad
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I hate taking shits
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
CmonBruh bruh
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠘⠛⠂⠄⠄⠉⠙⢻⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⣿
⣿⣿⡟⣩⣄⠄⠄⠛⠷⠄⠄⢀⣾⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣄⣙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠃⢀⣼⣿
⣿⡿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣷⡴⢄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣶⣶⡄⠉⠉⠙⢿⡆⢀⣾⣿⣿
⣿⠃⠸⠿⠿⠛⠛⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠻⣶⣼⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⢀⣀⡺⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡟⠄⠄⠄⠤⠾⠄⠄⣈⣛⠋⠉⠹⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⢸⡟⢛⣿⣿⣿
⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠶⢤⣴⣿⣉⡁⠄⢤⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣶⣬⣍⣉⠛⠲⠄⠈⠉⠁⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡏⠀⠰⠛⠻⢿⣿⠿⠿⠟⡿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⣿⠃⠀⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⠀⠀⣴⡄⠀⠘⡇⠀⣤⣤⡇⠀⣼⣿⠀⢠⡏⠀⢠⣦⠀⠀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡿⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⡼⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⢸⠁⠀⣼⡏⠀⢠⡟⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
Emote
Morpheus
⢕⢕⢕⢑⠁⢁⣼⣿⣻⢿⣟⢿⡻⡙⡏⡏⣟⡽⡹⣹⢪⡻⢽⡫⠯⣻⢛⢿⣻⣿⣿⡿⣧⢍⠝⡍⡏⡎⡕⢵
⢕⢕⠸⡐⣠⣿⣗⢯⡺⡽⡸⡅⠕⢕⢐⠑⢕⠸⢙⢕⢱⢸⠸⢜⠴⡈⡜⡔⢅⢟⢞⣿⣿⣧⠨⡊⣜⢜⢜⡵
⢕⢌⢂⢀⣿⡷⡧⣯⡣⡹⡎⠪⣈⡂⣦⣁⣱⡱⣱⣡⢑⣘⡨⢮⢝⢞⣎⣖⣵⢳⣸⣯⣿⣿⣇⢣⢪⡪⣣⣻
⢕⢐⠄⣸⣿⣿⡝⣮⡪⡪⣊⢎⡔⣗⢳⢪⢻⠾⡻⡿⡻⣗⢾⢗⡿⢿⢻⡻⡾⣟⣶⣯⣿⣿⡇⡎⢆⢇⢇⢿
⢕⠐⠄⣿⣿⣿⡽⢜⡲⣇⣷⡛⢗⢙⠹⠘⠔⠑⠉⠘⠜⠑⠔⠑⢘⠈⠂⠊⠘⠈⠈⠘⠹⢿⡧⡣⡣⡣⡳⡽
⢅⠅⠄⣿⣿⣿⢝⢷⣻⡻⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠬⡀⡄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠂⢻⣕⢧⢳⢕⣿
⠅⠂⠄⢻⣿⣯⠧⢟⣿⣔⠄⠁⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⡀⠩⠳⠵⠁⠄⡀⠄⢰⣁⠄⠠⠄⠄⠈⢿⣪⡺⡜⣾
⢵⣷⠶⣼⠏⣿⠹⡙⠄⠁⠄⠖⠂⠄⡀⠄⠄⠹⣾⠄⠄⢔⣻⣿⡳⠄⠄⠄⠈⡷⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⡟⠵⡭⣻
⡪⡂⡕⡄⢠⣿⣏⢌⢠⠰⡌⡢⠄⠄⠅⠠⠄⠐⠄⠄⡔⣵⢾⣟⣯⢧⢂⢠⢀⠄⠄⠄⣀⢤⢾⢦⣿⣇⢗⣿
⠜⣔⠄⠈⢘⣿⣯⡖⠔⠑⢜⢐⠁⢂⠄⠢⢐⠐⢀⢕⢝⡚⡟⠿⡿⣿⣪⡢⠳⣭⣊⢆⠣⠣⠣⠓⡯⢷⡣⣿
⠝⣾⠄⠄⢸⣹⣷⣆⢀⢑⢐⠰⢈⢐⠨⠨⠠⠐⡎⠫⠑⢌⠌⡈⡈⠪⠚⠷⠈⠰⢕⢟⢎⢎⠂⠌⣾⣿⢸⣺
⢅⠱⢷⢄⡀⢽⣿⣟⡀⠑⡐⢅⢃⠢⠑⠅⢅⢢⠈⠄⠄⠄⠁⠐⠈⢀⢀⢬⢤⢠⢌⠪⠲⢈⠸⡠⣿⢾⠱⣽
⡅⠄⠳⣝⠄⢸⣿⣻⡜⠆⠌⣐⡂⢅⠅⡍⡆⢧⢑⢦⠕⠔⠤⠤⠤⠳⢯⣯⢿⢵⠥⡧⣑⢄⠃⣆⣿⠃⢑⢵
⢆⠕⡠⡉⠃⠸⣿⣿⡸⠰⢁⢐⠄⡥⡪⠢⡸⡸⢊⠁⠄⠡⠡⠨⠐⠄⠈⠈⠫⡇⠟⣜⣖⡔⠥⣢⣻⠄⠄⡸
⡣⡣⡱⡨⠢⡀⢹⡗⡳⡉⢐⠄⠕⡽⢐⠁⠄⠅⠐⠈⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠁⠄⠨⣾⣗⡘⣆⣿⠄⠐⡌
⡪⡪⡢⡣⡃⢆⠸⣿⡢⡸⠂⡘⡩⠼⡄⢄⠰⡐⢔⠑⢍⢚⢙⢊⠣⠓⠝⢚⢹⢕⢕⢡⠺⡒⠕⠅⡾⣤⣐⢜
⡕⢕⢸⢨⢊⠆⡂⡹⣯⣪⡀⡄⢜⡽⡀⢢⠊⡊⡢⢑⢀⠄⡀⠄⠄⡀⠄⡊⠮⡪⡊⢆⢆⠯⢨⢢⠁⠄⣿⣽
⢎⢕⢕⢅⢇⣣⡱⠒⢿⡜⣖⡂⢚⡺⣎⢐⠄⡊⡐⠰⡀⡅⣀⡢⣐⢔⡰⡨⡘⡄⡣⡡⣏⡓⠇⠁⠄⠄⣍⣿
⡣⡱⡡⡣⣳⠞⠄⠄⠸⣿⣝⢮⣶⢪⡗⡄⠠⢂⠌⠆⡅⠇⠇⡓⡘⡘⡪⣚⠪⡪⡘⡜⡂⢪⡃⠄⠄⢀⣽⢿
⡕⢕⢕⢽⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⡑⠌⠹⢹⢹⢭⢻⡅⡆⡈⡠⠠⠁⡂⠄⠄⠠⢀⠂⠅⡃⠅⠁⡄⡣⡂⠄⢠⢙⢄⢾
⡕⡕⢵⠃⠄⢀⠄⠡⠄⢈⢂⢀⠄⠁⠌⠈⠪⠒⠢⠐⡐⠡⠐⠠⠡⠈⠄⠌⠄⠄⢀⠌⡀⠊⢐⡴⠩⡓⠔⢝
⢎⢪⢸⠄⠄⠘⠐⠄⠄⠄⠐⡀⠌⡀⠄⢂⠠⠄⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⡠⠔⠁⠐⠐⡭⡨⡘
⢕⠅⢝⣕⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠅⠐⠁⠄⠄⠈⢀⠁⡒⡊⠌
⡕⣌⣄⣿⣾⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢂⠠⠠
A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once
A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4”. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said “The required information is in the lab directions” but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
Jerma985
Coated like a plasterer's radio
twitchquotes:
After having my birth cannon pounded, he then proceeded to raid my poo pipe. My stench trench was trembling like a rat on acid. The seemingly never-ending streams of gentleman's relish emanating from his thrill drill soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio
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