[Copypasta] I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nookโ€™s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nookโ€™s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dadโ€™s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Shungite

Big Chungus v2

๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโšช๐Ÿ—ปโšช๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ปโฌœ๐ŸŸฅโšชโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœ๐ŸŸฅโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโšชโšช๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโšชโšชโšชโšช๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโšชโšช๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโšชโšช๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ
January 2022

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
March 2022

Pokemon

Why did you pick Hero at EVO?

twitchquotes: Nairo, it's been weeks since EVO and I still don't understand why you didn't choose Hero and win the whole thing. It'll be a matter of time before we follow Australia's example and ban him, and you'll be sorry you didn't use his banworthy strength when you could. Also can you use Ganondorf again, he's rlly strong. Sorry for long message, but you should consider my advice. Good luck Nairo!
twitch chat
August 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing