[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Peeping from behind wall

┻┳| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| _ ┻┳| •.•) [insert text here] ┳┻|⊂ノ ┻┳|
October 2021

Tempostorm royalty fees

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Dear Mr. Kripp. We at Tempostorm have heard that you have used the coined word "Tempo" in a stream today. Reynad will contact you shortly regarding royalty fees. Have a good Tempo Day Back (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Reynad is like a pigeon

twitchquotes: Reynad is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between reynad and a pigeon is that reynad intends to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Huntard is confused

twitchquotes: huntard is confused. undertaker was played turn one, but opponent lives. Even greetings traveller and overpowered doge card did not wonnered. A single tear rolls down his face as he concedes. time to craft gahzilla.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Dyrus in Jail

twitchquotes: Hello it is me Dyrus, from jail. This article was super superino I loved it as much as I love coach wukong. I hope this comment will make people help me get out of jailerino. Phant0mlord is always loud as a ziggs on cocoon and dexter breath smells like weederino. Pls no copy pasterino
twitch chat
April 2014
Dyrus
Text-to-Speech Playing