I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Among Us is love, Among Us is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Among us so much; I had all the merchandise and the skins. I played Among us every night before bed. Thanking Among us for hours of entertainment I've been given. "Among us is love," I say, "Among us is life."
My dad hears me and calls me, "A retard." I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Among us. I call him, "Sus." He slaps me and sends me to bed. I am crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold.
I feel a warmth move towards me. I feel something touch me. It's the Crewmates. I am so happy. They whisper in my ear, "Are you the imposter?" They grab me with their hard-working crewmate hands and put me on my hands and knees.
I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for the crewmates. They penetrate my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for the Among us characters. I can feel my rectum tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against their force. I want to please the crewmates. They roar a mighty roar as they fill my butthole with their love.
My dad walks in. The crewmates look him straight in the eye and say, "It is all sussed now." The Among us characters leave through my window. Among us is love, Among us is life.
Among Us / Amogus
NSFW
Kripp and Tony Gambino Casino in Reno
twitchquotes:
ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ, ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ ɢᴀᴍʙɪɴᴏ ᴄᴀsɪɴᴏ ɪɴ ʀᴇɴᴏ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴛʀɪᴏ ᴏғ ɴᴇᴏ─ᴘᴏʀɴᴏʀɪɴᴏs, "ғɪʟɪᴘɪɴᴏ─ʟᴀᴛɪɴᴏs sʜᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴊᴀʟᴀᴘᴇɴᴏs ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴘᴇᴇ─ʜᴏʟᴇs ૩,"ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ϙᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ᴛᴀʀᴀɴᴛɪɴᴏ. ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴀʟʟ, ᴀᴍɪɢᴏ
twitch chat
Kripp
Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices
twitchquotes:
Twitch Chat (“Chat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (“nl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
Kripp
COPY THIS GEM TO HELP TSM
twitchquotes:
COPY 
THIS GEM TO HELP TSM
THIS GEM TO HELP TSM
twitch chat
Riot Games
Rhyme Chant
League of Legends
Teddy Roosevelt messages Kripp
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, This is Teddy Roosevelt calling! I am concerned that you have formed a monopoly on the hearthstone section of twitch dot telly. You must renounce this darkness immediately or I will SMITE YOU like I did Andre Carnegie and Nelson Rockemsockem. You must give up your monopolistic ways or face the mighty wrath of the White House and the US Judicial system. Much love to Rania and the baby. Regards, yo boi TD
twitch chat
Kripp