[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021

Pasta definition

twitchquotes: Pasta (Italian pronunciation: [หˆpasta]) is a staple food[1] of traditional Italian cuisine, with the first reference dating to 1154 in Sicily.[2] It is also commonly used to refer to the variety of pasta dishes. Typically, pasta is a noodle made from an unleavened dough of a durum wheat flour mixed with water or eggs and formed into sheets or various shapes, then cooked by boiling or baking.
twitch chat
December 2016

All intensive purposes

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like itโ€™s a peach of cake.
September 2021

Would you like to get rich by running your own business

Hey๐Ÿ‘‹ ladies๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿ“ท Would ๐Ÿ˜ you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ like ๐Ÿ‘ to 2๏ธโƒฃ get ๐Ÿ˜ฎ rich ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ by running ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ your ๐Ÿ‘ˆ own business ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ผ๐Ÿ’ผ from home ๐Ÿก with just โ˜ your phone? ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿคณ Well ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ you can't. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Get ๐Ÿ‘ a ๐Ÿ‘ real ๐Ÿ‘ job ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ stupid ๐Ÿ‘ cunt
March 2021

Emoji Pasta

Elundus Core

twitchquotes: The Elundus Core was a 6.2-kilogram (14 lb) subcritical mass of a previously undiscovered isotope of plutonium measuring 89 millimeters and was previously held in Felix "xQc" Lengyel's basement. It now lives in the depths of yellowstone waiting to explode
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW
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