[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

twitchquotes: Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
twitch chat
June 2015

Classic

Hearthstone

Born to be a Twitch channel mod

twitchquotes: You can say that I was born to be a Twitch channel mod. I catch a glimpse of copypasta, the adrenaline starts pumping. A whiff of drama, I snap into duty. My streamer calls for a chat ban, I erase that motherfucker from the history books of this channel. There is no !command I won’t code, no timeout I won’t give, no Twitch laws I won’t overlook, and no order I won’t obey to make my streamer happy. And if you become his problem, well, I’m sorry to say that I’ll become yours.
twitch chat
December 2019

MODS

Classic

This chat is awful

twitchquotes: This chat is awful, literally ass, except ass can bring pleasure, and this chat is the goddamn antithesis of pleasure. This chat takes life from children and kittens and puts that pure innocence into phallic pus. This chat is disappointment and hate of humanity funneled into barely literate text that takes intelligence and shits all over it before making a shit sculpture out of the souls of everyone watching this whore of a stream. Everyone in this chat is the dregs of humanity, if even that, content with postulating whatever ass talk they can squeeze out of the withered rectum of their wasted lives.
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Spamming is my passion

twitchquotes: Dᴇᴀʀ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs: Yᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴀɴɴᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ 10 ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs, ʙᴜᴛ sʜɪᴛᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ғɪɴᴅ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇs. I ᴡɪʟʟ RIP ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɴɪ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴘɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ. Sᴏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡᴀsᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʙᴀɴɴɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍɪɴɢ ɪs ᴍʏ ᴘᴀssɪᴏɴ, AND I WILL COME BACK! Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ɴᴀᴢɪʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

ANY LOSERS? v2

: ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡔⠙⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠼⠅⠈⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡌⠄⢰⠉⢙⢗⣲⡖⡋⢐⡺⡄⠈⢆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡜⠄⢀⠆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⢣⢿⡱⡀⠈⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠧⠤⠂⠄⣼⢧⢻⣿⣿⣞⢸⣮⠳⣕⢤⡆⠄⠄ ⢺⣿⣿⣶⣦⡇⡌⣰⣍⠚⢿⠄⢩⣧⠉⢷⡇⠄⠄ ⠘⣿⣿⣯⡙⣧⢎⢨⣶⣶⣶⣶⢸⣼⡻⡎⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠎⡮⡙⠶⠟⣫⣶⠛⠧⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣏⢾⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡼⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡝⣿⣿⣿⠷⢀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠇⠿⠋⠄⠄⢘⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⣀⠄⠄⠄⣀⢼⡀⠄⢀⣀⡜⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣉⠉⠉⠄⢀⠈⠉⢏⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⢸⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠄⠄⡘⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⡙⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⢠⣿⢸⣿⡀ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⣝⠿⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡞⢍⣼⣿⠇ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠠⡊⠴⠋⠹⡜⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣤⣾⣿⣿⣧⠹⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⢸⠛⠿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠹⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠊⢹⠒⠤⢤⡜⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
November 2020

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing