[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Suicide test, if Pepe is not standing on the table...

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan This is a suicide test. If Pepe is not standing |""""""| on the table, kill yourself.
twitch chat
May 2016
Forsen

Chat Test

Pepe

when the impostor is sus

⠀⠀⠀⡯⡯⡾⠝⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢊⠘⡮⣣⠪⠢⡑⡌ ⠀⠀⠀⠟⠝⠈⠀⠀⠀⠡⠀⠠⢈⠠⢐⢠⢂⢔⣐⢄⡂⢔⠀⡁⢉⠸⢨⢑⠕⡌ ⠀⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⢂⠡⠈⡔⣕⢮⣳⢯⣿⣻⣟⣯⣯⢷⣫⣆⡂⠀⠀⢐⠑⡌ ⢀⠠⠐⠈⠀⢀⢂⠢⡂⠕⡁⣝⢮⣳⢽⡽⣾⣻⣿⣯⡯⣟⣞⢾⢜⢆⠀⡀⠀⠪ ⣬⠂⠀⠀⢀⢂⢪⠨⢂⠥⣺⡪⣗⢗⣽⢽⡯⣿⣽⣷⢿⡽⡾⡽⣝⢎⠀⠀⠀⢡ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⢂⠢⢂⢥⢱⡹⣪⢞⡵⣻⡪⡯⡯⣟⡾⣿⣻⡽⣯⡻⣪⠧⠑⠀⠁⢐ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠢⢑⠠⠑⠕⡝⡎⡗⡝⡎⣞⢽⡹⣕⢯⢻⠹⡹⢚⠝⡷⡽⡨⠀⠀⢔ ⣿⡯⠀⢈⠈⢄⠂⠂⠐⠀⠌⠠⢑⠱⡱⡱⡑⢔⠁⠀⡀⠐⠐⠐⡡⡹⣪⠀⠀⢘ ⣿⣽⠀⡀⡊⠀⠐⠨⠈⡁⠂⢈⠠⡱⡽⣷⡑⠁⠠⠑⠀⢉⢇⣤⢘⣪⢽⠀⢌⢎ ⣿⢾⠀⢌⠌⠀⡁⠢⠂⠐⡀⠀⢀⢳⢽⣽⡺⣨⢄⣑⢉⢃⢭⡲⣕⡭⣹⠠⢐⢗ ⣿⡗⠀⠢⠡⡱⡸⣔⢵⢱⢸⠈⠀⡪⣳⣳⢹⢜⡵⣱⢱⡱⣳⡹⣵⣻⢔⢅⢬⡷ ⣷⡇⡂⠡⡑⢕⢕⠕⡑⠡⢂⢊⢐⢕⡝⡮⡧⡳⣝⢴⡐⣁⠃⡫⡒⣕⢏⡮⣷⡟ ⣷⣻⣅⠑⢌⠢⠁⢐⠠⠑⡐⠐⠌⡪⠮⡫⠪⡪⡪⣺⢸⠰⠡⠠⠐⢱⠨⡪⡪⡰ ⣯⢷⣟⣇⡂⡂⡌⡀⠀⠁⡂⠅⠂⠀⡑⡄⢇⠇⢝⡨⡠⡁⢐⠠⢀⢪⡐⡜⡪⡊ ⣿⢽⡾⢹⡄⠕⡅⢇⠂⠑⣴⡬⣬⣬⣆⢮⣦⣷⣵⣷⡗⢃⢮⠱⡸⢰⢱⢸⢨⢌ ⣯⢯⣟⠸⣳⡅⠜⠔⡌⡐⠈⠻⠟⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⡻⣃⠢⣱⡳⡱⡩⢢⠣⡃⠢⠁ ⡯⣟⣞⡇⡿⣽⡪⡘⡰⠨⢐⢀⠢⢢⢄⢤⣰⠼⡾⢕⢕⡵⣝⠎⢌⢪⠪⡘⡌⠀ ⡯⣳⠯⠚⢊⠡⡂⢂⠨⠊⠔⡑⠬⡸⣘⢬⢪⣪⡺⡼⣕⢯⢞⢕⢝⠎⢻⢼⣀⠀ ⠁⡂⠔⡁⡢⠣⢀⠢⠀⠅⠱⡐⡱⡘⡔⡕⡕⣲⡹⣎⡮⡏⡑⢜⢼⡱⢩⣗⣯⣟ ⢀⢂⢑⠀⡂⡃⠅⠊⢄⢑⠠⠑⢕⢕⢝⢮⢺⢕⢟⢮⢊⢢⢱⢄⠃⣇⣞⢞⣞⢾ ⢀⠢⡑⡀⢂⢊⠠⠁⡂⡐⠀⠅⡈⠪⠪⠪⠣⠫⠑⡁⢔⠕⣜⣜⢦⡰⡎⡯⡾⡽
January 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Blushing anime girl (ahegao)

⣿⣯⣿⣟⣟⡼⣿⡼⡿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠽⡟⢋⣿⣿⠘⣼⣷⡟⠻⡿⣷⡼⣝⡿⡾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣵⡇⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⡇⣴⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⡇⠀⢣⣿⣷⣀⡏⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠁⠀⠛⠛⠋⠀⠂⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠉⠁⠀⠘⠛⠛⠛⠃⢸⣯ ⣿⡇⠀⣄⣀⣀⣈⣁⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠎⠈⠀⣀⣁⣀⣀⡠⠈⠉ ⣿⣯⣽⡿⢟⡿⠿⠛⠛⠿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢠⣴⣾⠛⠛⠿⠻⠛⠿⣷⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⣶⣿⣫⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠰⣿⠿⠾⣿⡇⠀⠀⢺⣿ ⣿⣿⠻⡀⠀⠀⠙⠏⠒⡻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡓⢚⠟⠁⠀⠀⡾⢫ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⡈⣉⡀⡠⣐⣅⣽⣺⣿⣯⡡⣴⣴⣔⣠⣀⣀⡀⢀⡀⡀⠀⣸ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⢾⣷⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⠫⡾⠟⠫⢾⠯⡻⢟⡽⢶⢿⣿⣿⡛⠕⠎⠻⠝⠪⢖⠝⠟⢫⠾⠜⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣋⣀⣈⣢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣐⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡿⣿⣿⢽⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⢅⣙⣙⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣅⠀⠓⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2020

Weebs

NSFW

Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat"

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat", since you don't listen to my cries I decided to contact you on this twitch chat. If you don't feed me right now im going to shit in your shoes tonight, fuccboi. Your loving "small cat"
twitch chat
May 2015
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing