[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Twin Towers

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–„ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2018

NFT Navy Seal Copypasta

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pirate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Full Sail University, and I've been involved in numerous secret Photoshop files, and I have over 300 confirmed NFTs. I am trained in gorilla artwork and I'm the top artist in the entire US armed artists. You are nothing to me but just another pirate. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of discord servers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can turn you into an NFT in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed brushstrokes, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States NFT Corps and I will use it to its full extent to stomp your miserable ass directly into the blockchain, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit paint all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
December 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Navy Seal

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

STOP with your copy pasta SPAM

twitchquotes: STOP with your copy pasta SPAM. You are destroying not ONLY my chat EXPERIENCE, but everyones chat EXPERIENCE. If you PLEBS don't stop IMMEDIATELY, then I will have to call the CYBER police. Do NOT copy and paste this.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

plebs vs subs

Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'?

twitchquotes: Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'? We know Kripp is not the best player and he might be a bit slow in the head, but stop pointing out the obvious by typing 'misplay' over and over.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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