[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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My name is Van, I'm an artist

twitchquotes: My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full ♂Master♂ and change my entire house into a dungeon... ♂Dungeon♂Master♂ now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why
twitch chat
August 2019

THIS GAME IS AMAZING

twitchquotes: PogChamp THIS GAME IS AMAZING! PogChamp (Five dollars were deposited in your PayPal Account. Please, remove this part of the message before pasting it in the chat, thank you and have a nice day!)
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

PepeClown

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡠⠤⠄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠒⠂⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠈⠳⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⢖⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣛⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣾⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⠽⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣧⣄⡈⠛⠛⠛⣛⣛⣳⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀ ⠀⠘⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⣀⣠⠤⠤⣤⣖⡺⢟⣩⠥⢒⡊⠭⠭⠝⢑⣒⠲⠤⢭⢖⣪⠭⠜⠓⢒⣒⠒⠒⢒⣛⢷⣄⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⠞⠉⢀⣤⣿⡭⠷⡺⠚⠉⢩⣾⣩⡿⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠲⡠⠒⠁⠀⣴⣈⡿⠷⣦⠀⠈⠈⠙⠻⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡭⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠘⠓⠒⠲⡉⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣬⣷⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣿⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠓⣿⠶⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠂⠀⠈⠑⠠⢀⠈⢛⣿⣿⠛⠋⣀⡀⣀⠠⠐⠂⠀⢀⣀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣍⡀⠤⠤⠒⢊⡍⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢠⣄⣤⣾⣿⣷⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⡎⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡤⠤⠶⠦⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⢶⠛⠁⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣅⡀⠐⠦⣤⣤⣀⣈⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠴⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠳⠶⢤⣄⣉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⣀⣴⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠒⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠒⠋⠉⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠙⠦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠑⠒⠦⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⠴⠚⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠒⠦⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⡤⠒⠒⢢⠖⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠩⠇⠀⠀⠀⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠜⠒⠤⠀⠐⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡄
July 2021

Pepe

COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbot #420

twitchquotes: (Viewbot #420) MrDestructoid Hello Mr. Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana, I am here to "view" your channel as was previously discussed.
twitch chat
February 2017
imaqtpie

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