[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

newbies in Summit's chat

twitchquotes: wow, I can tell there are some newbies here in Summit's chat. listen, I've been watching him for almost 4 whole months now, and I know what he's about, so listen to me and I'll teach you. when SumSum (that's what vets call him here) plays SoT (that's Sea of Thieves) he plays sneaky and steals look. it's kind of his thing. haha
twitch chat
May 2020
Summt1g

And you thought there wouldn't be any bees in chat

twitchquotes: โ–‘Aโ–‘nโ–‘dโ–‘ โ–‘yโ–‘oโ–‘uโ–‘ โ–‘tโ–‘hโ–‘oโ–‘uโ–‘gโ–‘hโ–‘tโ–‘ โ–‘tโ–‘hโ–‘eโ–‘rโ–‘eโ–‘ โ–‘wโ–‘oโ–‘uโ–‘lโ–‘dโ–‘nโ–‘tโ–‘ โ–‘bโ–‘eโ–‘ โ–‘aโ–‘nโ–‘yโ–‘ โ–‘bโ–‘eโ–‘eโ–‘sโ–‘ โ–‘iโ–‘nโ–‘ โ–‘tโ–‘hโ–‘iโ–‘sโ–‘ โ–‘cโ–‘hโ–‘aโ–‘tโ–‘ bUrself
twitch chat
May 2016
Forsen

My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=ยคโ—ฅโ–ˆฬ†โ—คMy name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus, commander of the Armies of the RNG, General of the โ—ฅโ–ˆฬ†โ—ค Legions, loyal servant to the true Shaman Kripparrian. Buff to a โ—ฅโ–ˆฬ†โ—ค son, and buff to a โ—ฅโ–ˆฬ†โ—ค wife. I will make all totems mighty, whether in this game or the next. <:::::[]=ยคโ—ฅโ–ˆฬ†โ—ค
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T

twitchquotes: TriHard TriHard TriHard TriHard โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € TriHard โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € TriHard โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € TriHard โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € TriHard Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T.
twitch chat
February 2020
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