[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Shut your eyes and listen closely

twitchquotes: Shut your eyes and listen closely. Do you feel it? The gentle clicks of a finely crafted keyboard massaging your eardrums? The soft soothing moan that comes from a man that has seen the inside of his attic and understands many things? The jovial chuckles awakening memories of the trips with the family to your uncle's barn on a mild summer evening when you were a kid? That is what Kripp's stream is to me. I am at peace.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

This is why eSports will never...

twitchquotes: This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

forsenD

⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣧⣡⣤⡴⠖⣒⣂⠄⡉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⡇⢴⡌⡀⢨⣤⡡⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⠏⣠⣶⣦⣤⡤⠤⠤⣤⣀⣀⠈⢻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⣿⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⢡⣬⠉⣑⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣧⡀⠻⢿⣯⣷⣭⣀⡈⠄⣿⣷⣦⡻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣉⣉⠄⠹⠋⢀⣀⣴⣶⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣵⡆ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⠴⣩⠾⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣺⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⢿⣾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣽⣅⣴⣎⠠⠔⣂⣖⣆⣒⣖⡢⠶⠶⡢⢄⠄⢿⣧⡈⠻⢿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢹⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠂⠠⠠⠠⢭⣩⣭⣭⣴⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⠄⣤⣀⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⡀⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⡀⣾⡿⠛⡁ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠏⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠫⣠⣾⡇ ⠿⠿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⠇
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

A full golden Hearthstone collection

twitchquotes: Lieutenant General Octavian, we regret to inform you that the Chinese have successfully built a full golden Hearthstone collection before you with their superior economy and rng. You are hereby relieved of all duties pertaining to the hell we call Hearthstone...It's over, Kripp.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends player

twitchquotes: "Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends players who strove to be the best, Imaqtpie, Faker, EU Sucks, and 3 others" - Imaqtpie....
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing