[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Amaz and Kripp

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. โ€œPepperoniโ€ Kripp whispered into Amazโ€™s elvish ear, as they started making out. โ€œDoโ€ฆdo I win?โ€ Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. โ€œYour deck is crazyโ€ Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. โ€œItโ€™s lethal guysโ€ Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Ebettle

twitchquotes: I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of e-betting website to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ebettle, the best betting website on the internet. Now available for children.
twitch chat
March 2015

sellout

Classic

Squidward with boobs

โข€โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃถโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃถโฃฆโฃ„โก€โ €โ €โ € โ €โข โฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโฃ€โ € โขฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโฃฟโกถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโฃถโฃญโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃ† โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ ˆโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ‹โ ‰โ โ ˆโ ‰โ ›โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ปโฃฟโกฟโ ƒ โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ โ €โขดโฃโขฆโ €โ €โ €โฃดโก–โฃฆโ €โ €โ ˆโ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ›โ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ›โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โข€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โข€โก”โฃปโฃญโก‡โ €โฃผโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ ฆโฃฌโฃŸโข“โก„โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ ‰โ ‰โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ปโ ฟโ ฟโ Ÿโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โขผโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโก„โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃพโฃฟโฃทโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก€โ €โ € โ €โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃธโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโ €โ € โ €โฃฟโฃฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโขปโฃฟโฃฟโก„โ € โ €โขธโฃฟโฃฎโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโขนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโข›โขปโฃทโขปโฃฟโฃงโ € โ €โ €โฃฟโกโฃฟโกŸโก›โขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฌโฃผโฃฟโขธโฃฟโฃฟโ €
September 2020

Domo Kun

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„ โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ– โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
September 2021

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: :tf: BAN :tf: ONE :tf: 12 :tf: YEAR :tf: OLD :tf: AND :tf: YOU :tf: GET :tf: THE :tf: WHOLE :tf: 9GAG :tf:
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

Classic

Ban X Get The Whole Y

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