I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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More Copypastas
Response to someone correcting spelling
whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING ๐ฑ๐
Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff โบ๏ธ to my impostor body pillow, ๐ฑ but when I came, ๐ป I started floating, ๐ฑ and think I got teleported into the skeld. ๐ฎ I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.๐คค ๐ ๐ I immediately was transported back to earth, ๐ญ and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, ๐คช as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter ๐ช
โIM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTERโ
I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me ๐คค but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. ๐๐๐โน๏ธ
She then said I was going to a magical place called the โmental asylumโ 
Iโm not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐ฎ
Iโm not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐ฎ
Among Us / Amogus
does anyone have that sneaky copy pasta
twitchquotes:
does anyone have the copy pasta where sneaky finally wins worlds but it turns out hes actually in a mental hospital and league died 10 years ago
twitch chat
Sneaky
League of Legends
Response to "who asked?"
I don't care if you "didn't ask". The world does not revolve around you and I can say whatever the fuck I want, and I could not care less if you didn't ask so shut the fuck up. This is why you are lonely and everyone leaves you.