[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Red sus. Red suuuus

Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! Skip! Vote blue! Blue was not an impostor. Among us in a nutshell hahahaha. What?! Youre still not laughing your ass off? I made SEVERAL funny references to Among Us and YOU STILL ARENT LAUGHING??!!! Bruh. Ya hear that? Wooooooosh. Whats woooosh? Oh, nothing. Just the sound of a joke flying over your head. Whats that? You think im annoying? Kinda sus, bro. Hahahaha! Anyway, yea, gotta go do tasks. Hahahaha!
October 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Lucentbark summon quote

twitchquotes: 🌳 THIS 🌲 IS 🌴 NOT 🎄 YOUR 🌲 HOME 🌳 INVADER 🌲
twitch chat
May 2019

Hearthstone

deadmau5

⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣾⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠃⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2019

NA>EU

twitchquotes: I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all NA>EU
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Surprised face

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March 2015
Text-to-Speech Playing