[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Rainbow Dash

โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–€ โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“
ascii art
November 2014

Leper Gnome guns

twitchquotes: fuckin reymad m8, why do you look like you're 15 years old? You even old enough to drive there m8? I used to remember back in the old day your dad would yell at you on stream. I miss those days. Somebody needs to smash your face m8 all you do is play hearthstone all day. You obviously don't lift with those leper gnome guns you got there.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE FeelsGoodMan I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE FeelsGoodMan I WANT KRIPP TO LOSE FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Arr. It's driving me nuts

twitchquotes: A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants, the bartender says "whats with the wheel?". The pirate replies "Arr. it's drivin me nuts"
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
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