I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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My eyes are open
twitchquotes:
γ½ΰΌΌΚΜΩΝΚΜΰΌ½οΎ MY EYES, ARE OPEN γ½ΰΌΌΚΜΩΝΚΜΰΌ½οΎ
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Kripp
How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
Iβd brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyβd be compelled to approach. βThatβs very cool,β theyβd say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyβd shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. βBut as it is volcanic glass, itβs very fragile, you see, and isnβt well-suited for use as a weapββ and then Iβd hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
I'm not gonna read that
Watermelon
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ESAM's tag actually has a secret meaning
twitchquotes:
fun fact: ESAM's tag actually has a secret meaning. the SAM is for his name, Samuel. the E stands for "electronic" since he plays electronic games
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pgESAM