[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night. I know I know. Another "I had a dream about Jerma" post. I've been thinking about whether or not to post this for the last 3 days, since everyone and their grandmas are doing these posts. But whatever. Three nights ago I dreamt that I was watching a jerma stream and he did something so utterly hilarious that I bursted out laughing so hard that I actually woke up from it. I looked for my phone to write down what he was doing (because it was 2 am and I needed to go back to sleep) but I couldn't find it for the life of me. Then in the corner of my eye a webcam appeared and it was Jerma laughing his ass off saying "chat he can't find it" and "he doesn't know pepeface". I was still dreaming lmao. I saw chat and it was just a wall of OMEGALULs. The whole situation was hilarious so then I woke up for real this time. Unfortunately because of the nature of the dream I can't remember what he was doing originally that was so funny. I think he was choking on a piece of bread or something.
March 2022
Jerma985

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣰⡆⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣦⣄⣀⣤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡿⠃⠀⡾⠃⣰⠟⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠈⢿⡀⠈⢿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⡄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠃⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠛⠲⠦⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⠴⠖⠛⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⢧⣀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠈⠉⡏⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣟⠀⠈⠉⣾⠳⠶⠤⣤⣧⠤⠴⢾⡗⠉⠉⠀⢇⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠙⠻⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠑⢶⣤⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣷⣠⡴⠖⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⠋⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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February 2021

Weebs

Let's build a ladder

twitchquotes: ╠═══╣Lets build a ladder╠═══╣
twitch chat
April 2015

Classic

Imposter broke into my house!

So yesterday I was eating with my family when all of a sudden a “crew mate” broke in through the front door. He had a ski mask on and a gun which was sus, but he a good skin. My father told us all to hide so we don’t get killed by the obvious imposter. I could see him from my hiding spot under the table and he looked sus. So I told my dad “DAD YOU THINK HE IS THE IMPOSTER? HE IS SUS!” I yelled as loud as I could. The imposter found us hiding and shot my father five times. The imposter was so dumb, who kills someone in front of crew mates? I ran to call the emergency meeting by grabbing my phone off the table when I heard my mother get shot and scream for me. Lol she was so bad at among us. My teammates sucked and were dying to the worst Imposter. So I called the emergency meeting and for some reason a S.W.A.T team rammed down the door and killed the imposter. Lol that’s not how the game goes, I think they were hacking.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Team Liquid / TL

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⢰⣦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠹⣿⣷⠀⠸⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣤⡀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣦⡀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣷⡀⢄⡈⠒⣨⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣷⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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February 2019
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