I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
forsenSS
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⡿⢋⣠⣿⣿⡄⣰⢞⣿⡵⣽⢯⣶⢾⣿⣟⣿⣭⣤⡌⠙⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⠄⢠⣿⣿⣟⡿⣟⣳⣿⡿⣗⡷⣫⣿⡏⣿⣻⣭⣿⣿⠁⠜⠻
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢰⣿⡀⣾⣿⣿⢼⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣶⣿⡏⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣀⣴⡆
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⠾⠟⣛⢷⡝⢟⣳⢿⣽⢿⡟⡝⢻⣿⡿⠿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡀⢨⣀⢿⢧⠟⣏⡛⠻⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⢾⣷⢨⣪⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⣿⣿⣿⠷⠄⢻⣿⠾⢿⢫⣾⣬⢿⣸⣿⡟⡒⢹⣱⣿⣛⠯⣿⢿⢟⣵⣾⢟⠿⠄
⣿⣿⣿⡀⢢⡌⣵⣿⡷⢿⣿⣿⣯⢣⣿⡯⣿⣷⣜⡲⣏⣿⣟⣷⢻⣿⢽⠿⣟⣻
⣿⣿⣿⣷⢆⣼⣿⣿⣴⠂⠈⣿⣿⣯⣵⣾⡿⢿⢋⣉⣥⣿⣽⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⠋
⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠾⣒⣨⣿⣺⣿⣟⣾⣥⣀⠐
⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠉⢻⡣⢾⣾⣯⣟⣫⣽⡿⠟⠁⢉
⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣷⣷⣦⣼⡿⣰⡾⣤⣭⣍⠁⠤⣴⣾⣿
⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠄⠓⠄⣉⣠⣤⣤⣀⣸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡄⠚⠳⠂⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⢐⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Forsen
Emote
Attention all Fortnite gamers
twitchquotes:
Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!
twitch chat
Classic
Fortnite
Mods, I am truly humbled by the timeou
Ok, so I main Mercy
twitchquotes:
Ok, so I main Mercy all I see is a bunch of posts and comments basically talking shit about Mercy mains. But let me tell you something, you need us. Honestly, do you think it's easy playing Mercy or something? Every time I hear "I need healing" it feels like a synapse in my brain just snapped. Like do you think I'm fucking blind or something? Do you not think I can see the big red target saying "CRITICAL"?? and you guys have the audacity to talk down on us Mercy mains.
twitch chat
Overwatch
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.