I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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This is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Happy Thanksgiving emoji
Happy π¦ Thanksgiving π¦! Guess what π―βitβs that time β° of year π to gobble π¦ gobble π¦ gobble π¦ up β¬οΈ those dicks π chicks π₯ and bicks π€¨ (big dicks) ππ«π«π«π« I bet π youβre all π€π€π€ HORNY-copia π½ π₯π₯πΆπβοΈπππ for SKANKS-giving π€ͺππ€€π€€πππ youβll be saying π¬ thanks π for giving me all π« this π« COCK π₯³π₯³π₯³π₯³ send this to π of your thiccest sluts with those hot π₯΅ hot π₯ tasty π€€π peach pies π₯§ π ππ if you know 
what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ
what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Thanksgiving
Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitchquotes:
Pedestrian: i want to give a shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitch chat
Reynad
I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)
I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
Palworld
Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble
twitchquotes:
Prepare for trouble! And make it double! To protect the world from devastation! To unite all peoples within our nation! To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend our reach to the stars above! Jessie! James! Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! Meowth! That's right!
twitch chat