[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

Our Salt, who art in hearthstone

twitchquotes: BlessRNG Our Salt, who art in hearthstone, hallowed be thy game, your kripparian comes, your aggro decks be done, on constructed as it is in arena. BlessRNG Give us today our daily meme deck. BlessRNG And forgive us our rng bullshit, as we also have forgiven others rng bullshit. BlessRNG And lead us not into Smorc, but deliver us from the evil aggro decks. Amen BlessRNG
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Corridor creeper nerfed

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ›In the dungeon I go deeper๐Ÿ›in set reviews I was a sleeper๐Ÿ›when minions die I get cheaper๐Ÿ›You guessed it right๐Ÿ›I'm 3 attack weaker๐Ÿ›
twitch chat
September 2018

Hearthstone

VEGAN MAN

twitchquotes: VEGAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ Take me by the hand โœ‹ lead me to the spam that you understand ๐Ÿ™Œ ๐ŸŒŠ VEGAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ The voyage ๐Ÿšฒ to the top of the ๐ŸŒŽdeck is a real trip ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐ŸŒŠ VEGAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ The crust of a Romanian man ๐Ÿ‘ณ fueled by the banned ๐Ÿ‘ Soaking up the ๐Ÿ’ฆ salt in the spam ๐Ÿ’ฏ
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Emoji Pasta

Kripp wins Best Actor

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. โ€œBoy,โ€ he says, โ€œwe got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!โ€ The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. โ€œWow!โ€ says Hanks. โ€œI donโ€™t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his โ€˜Unsponsoredโ€™ Hero Academy 2โ„ข Stream!โ€
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing