[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Random Koala fact of the day

twitch chat
March 2014
Hafu

What is inside that taco? Oh no it's KRIPP

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull TBTacoRight WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO TBTacoLeft BabyRage TBTacoRight OH NO IT'S KRIPP
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

Steve Yuen "You Are Gay"

Have you even been walking down the street with your best bro, and while you're walking you accidentally touch hands. You think to yourself, "that was weird, but, I'm not gay". You are. You are gay.
June 2021

MUST BE EU

twitchquotes: SeemsGood NO LOGIC SeemsGood DOESNT UNDERSTAND IMMIGRATION SeemsGood WATCHING NA GAME SeemsGood ON NA WEBSITE SeemsGood MUST BE EU SeemsGood
twitch chat
August 2017

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing