I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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AITA for punching my own son and husband in the face for being NFTphobic?
So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners).
So, Reddit. AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
NFTs
ABORTION TEST
twitchquotes:
ABORTION TEST If the arms ⊿?⊾ touch the coat hanger, you are ARRESTED ⎝ 
⎠
twitch chat
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! 
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
Among Us / Amogus
Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA
Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you? I simply can’t fucking believe that you would make such an idiotic decision. You’re a disgusting little crawly lobotomite and you deserve to perish in a dark deep abyss where you belong. I’ve gone ahead and removed one reddit upvote from your account by “downvoting” this comment. I hope you rethink your actions in the future. Fuck you.
Am I The Asshole?
Stabbed with Kniferino made out of an OJ Carton
twitchquotes:
Oᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ Mᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ, ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪsᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴀs Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ʜᴀs ᴘᴀssᴇᴅ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴛᴜᴇsᴅᴀʏ's ᴀғᴛᴇʀɴᴏᴏɴ. Hᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀᴍʙᴜsʜᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ ᴏғ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴀʟʟᴇʏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʙʙᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴋɴɪғᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴀɴ OJ ᴄᴀʀᴛᴏɴ. RIP ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴘɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴀʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ.
twitch chat
Kripp