I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha?
twitchquotes:
Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha? And I'm referring to Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikidou paths ability) equipped with his Gunbai and control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, a complete Susano'o, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in his chest so he can perform Mokuton kekkei genkai and yin-yang release ninjutsu as well as being extremely skilled in taijutsu and bukijutsu
twitch chat
Weebs
So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump
twitchquotes:
So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump... which was pretty cool. I was wondering why he was in the "woman's hygeine" section of the store.... He caught on to what I was thinking and held up some tampons. "For my girlfriend", he said, giggling nervously. But he doesn't have a GF. I think they were for HIM!
twitch chat
Trump
GlitchCat
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠉⡙⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⣚⡯⠴⢬⣱⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣷⡌⢲⣄⡑⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⢋⠔⣨⣴⣿⣷⡌⠇⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢹⣿⣿⣄⢻⣿⣷⣝⠷⢤⣤⣤⡶⢋⣴⣑⠟⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡀⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸⣿⡄⢁⣸⣿⣋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣟⡁⠚⣿⣿⡇⡇⠀
⢀⣠⡤⠤⠾⡘⠋⢀⣘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⢭⣭⣭⣭⣍⠉⢩⣭⠉⠉⠂⠙⠛⠃⣇⡀
⠏⠀⠀⢿⣿⣷⡀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱
⣦⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⠛⠉⠂⠀⠙⠁⠀⣼⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠙⠀⠘⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟
⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣏⠀
⠀⠀⠛⢶⢰⣶⢢⣤⣤⣄⠲⣶⠖⠀⣙⣀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣠⣾⠟⡌⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⠸⠟⣡⣤⡳⢦
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⣙⡿⢷⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢁⡟⣫⣶⣍⡙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣽⡖⣉⣠⣶⣶⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⢡⢎⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿
⠀⢠⠖⢁⣴⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿
Catch ya in the gym... not
twitchquotes:
moon2EZ sup nerds 
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Having a daughter is the ULTIMATE SIMP
As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP. Think about it logically.