[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector, renowned Psychiatrist based in Baltimore, Maryland. I have heard you are the saltiest man alive, I am intrigued by a man of your... tastes. I would like to invite you for... dinner. ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill

twitchquotes: This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill. They bring a TFT player onto the analyst desk for a summoner's rift game. He clearly has no idea what's going on. "Scarra" is it? Has anyone heard of this guy?
twitch chat
August 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Asian Dude from Heartharena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Asian Dude from Heartharena here. We've noticed you've been away from our website for a long time. Is it the Classic Aggro? We've adjusted our tier list to your more Classic Greed style. Please come back. Best regards, Classic Asian Dude from Heartharena
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Pizza

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣷⣤⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠆⠰⠶⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⢈⣉⠉⣡⣤⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⢡⣾⣿⣿⣷⠋⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠰⠖⠱⣽⠟⠋⠉⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠉⠖⣀⠀⠀⢁⣀⠀⣴⣶⣦⠀⢴⡆⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣉⡽⠷⠶⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠛⠋⠘⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣐⣲⣤⣯⠞⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠔⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⣀⡞⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡜⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠿⣻⣥⣀⡀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⠁⠀⡤⠖⠺⢶⡾⠃⠀⠈⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠓⠾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing