[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Hey guys Papparian here!

twitchquotes: Hey guys Papparian here! I wanted to check in and make sure my Little Kripp baby is acting like a nice little boy. He has been known to cry from time to time about RNG so please make sure you spam BabyRage NEVER LUCKY BabyRage when he loses RNG, to keep his little baby butt in check. Thanks, no copy pasterino.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

neverlucky

I hope Seraphine wins xD

twitchquotes: I hope Seraphine wins xD. I'm a Sera main and she's just so fun!! People get so trolled by the charm, and her tweets are so cute like when she writes about anxiety LOL! She's super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD
twitch chat
October 2020

League of Legends

THE NEXUS NEEDS YOU KRIPP!

twitchquotes: THE NEXUS NEEDS YOU KRIPP! PLAY HEROES OF THE STORM TODAY! ($5.00 Blizzard Balance will be credited to your Blizzard Account upon successful delivery of promotional message. Please remove this part before pasting.)
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

sellout

Goldshire Footman is one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Goldshire Footman quickly became one of my favorite cards. He might not be the strongest minion in the game, but he protects me without hesitation against large minions and the way he says "Ready for battle" always fills me with confidence :)
twitch chat
January 2019

Hearthstone

Oops, sorry! This Twitch Chat message is only visible to TempoStorm Premium Subscribers

twitchquotes: [Oops, sorry! This Twitch Chat message is only visible to reynadTS TempoStorm Premium Subscribers reynadTS . Join today to read premium messages and become legendary!]
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

sellout

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing