[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? 💦😉 🧻Corona🤧 is CUMMING💦 for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being 💋NAUGHTY😉 🙅‍♀️Social distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my 🤷‍♂️quarenTEEN🔞 with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant 💦 and CUM👅 over so I can administer👩‍⚕️ your treatment😉 and inject💉 you with the vaccine🍆 We’ll spend the 🗝lockdown🔒 flattening the curve📉 and FATTENING DEM’ 👏🏿 CURVES 🍑 Get ready for 14 days of 💯THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this ✉️ to covid-19 of your sloppiest 💦💦SYMPTOMATIC🤒 SLUTS🤫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan bat🦇 bitch 👎 If you get 10 back, you’re a 😉horny💄healthy💪hoe😘 If you get all 19 back👏 your ass🍑 is the ANTIDOTE💊 and it’s in high demand 👬🏿
March 2020

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

pepeJAM

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠲⠶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⡀⠤⣦⢰⣤⣶⢶⣤⣤⣈⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣊⡘⠲⣶⣷⣶⠶⠶⠶⠦⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠔⠊⠁⠁⠄⠄⢾⡿⣟⡯⣖⠯⠽⠿⠛⠛⠭⠽⠊⣲⣬⠽⠟⠛⠛⠭⢵⣂⠄ ⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⡷⠋⣴⡆⠄⠐⠂⢸⣿⣿⡶⢱⣶⡇⠄⠐⠂⢹⣷⣶⠆ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⡓⠮⣅⣀⣀⣐⣈⣭⠤⢖⣮⣭⣥⣀⣤⣤⣭⡵⠂⠄ ⣤⡀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⢖⣢⣴⣿⣿⣟⣛⠿⠿⠟⣛⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡗⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡘⠿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⠱⢿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠰⣞⡛⠷⣬⣙⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣓⡀⠄ ⢡⣾⣷⢠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠷⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⡶⠾⠿⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⡟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣙⡛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄ ⠿⡐⢬⣛⡻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⣷⣶⣭⣝⣒⣒⠶⠬⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⣐⣒⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Classic

Pepe

Remittance-based Number Generation

twitchquotes: R-N-G Remittance-based Number Generation, was a phrased developed by Blizzard in 2013 Hearthstone Beta(2014 official release). The phrase describes Blizzard's sentiment off *** YOU PAY US MORE MONIES RIGHT *** NOW. If the player does not pay $4.50 average per week, ugly loss accruing algorithms are enabled.
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Please give me an All-Access Pass

twitchquotes: I’m a gamer school girl, so, i need money for my college, which is why i can’t by this All-Access Pass. But i hope someone can give me one of them. It means so much for me
twitch chat
February 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Hello I'm a 1 month old banana

twitchquotes: Hello im a 1 month old banana. Since i fall off the tree i watch leek of legends and want to become Soraka’s bestest banana but im afraid Wukong will eat me. Pls dont laugh at my story!
twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g
Text-to-Speech Playing