[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Nairoby Quezada I'm really disappointed in you

twitchquotes: Nairoby Quezada I'm really disappointed in you. Your recent food review on the Wendy's BBQ Burgerβ„’ has not lived up to your usual standard of quality. You did not even discuss the taste or texture of the new burger. I was really looking forward to your insights but I guess I'll have to look elsewhere. You better step up your review game if you want to keep your audience.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was β€œpregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020

This streamer loves COCK

THIS STREAMER LOVES β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•— β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β• β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•β•β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘ β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•— β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β–‘β•šβ•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•
February 2021

Amazed Face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€
August 2018

I will tell Michael to ban you all

twitchquotes: Hello twitch chat. This is michaels mother speaking. Please stop the spam in the chat. I can't read the amazing conversations that you are having about my son. Thanks. Don't copy and paste this to spam more or I will tell Michael to ban you all.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing