I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad
twitchquotes:
(β ΝΚ β) Hello! My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad! (β‘ ΝΚ β‘) I just lost another tournament (ΒΊ ΝΚ ΒΊ) But it's okay, I'll be a whiny baaby and complain about my luck
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Reynad
John Wick is in grave danger
twitchquotes:
Epic Fortnite gamers, it's time to rise and grind! John Wick is in grave danger. Our friend is trapped in Dusty Divots surrounded by fake defaults with no shields or weaponry, and the only one who can help is you to save him! What he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, as well as the expiration month and date. BE SWIFT, GAMERS. You gotta do it. The circle is closing and John Wick needs your assistance fast so that he can acquire that bread, nae nae on those NOOBS, and achieve another SICK W! YEAH!
twitch chat
Fortnite
BAN ONE FLEX
twitchquotes:
πͺ π BAN πͺ π ONE πͺ π FLEX πͺ π GET πͺ π THE πͺ π WHOLE πͺ π GYM
twitch chat
I hate JoJo
I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say βiS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1β on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! Theyβve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? Iβm wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I donβt even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didnβt do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
its 3 am and i fucked up really bad
I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.