[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

The ultimate tool to win any argument you're in, works even if you're losing

That's a nice argument you have, but unfortunately, I had sexual intercourse with your mother, therefore rendering any point you make null.
May 2021

Why do I keep hearing “pre madana” all the time?

Why do I keep hearing “pre madana” all the time? Did she use to do some other thing before she was famous or am I just dumb? Edit: I was just stupid Edit 2: which one of you reported me to Reddit resources or whatever??
July 2021

Haha Jonathan, You Are Banging My Daughter

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠾⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠤⣬⣽⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⢀⣽⣦⡎⠁⠒⠒⢻⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣧⡀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣧⣦⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣠⣴⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣄⢺⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⠄⡀⠄⣸⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡆⠄⣀⣛⣫⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⠽⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2021

PogOff

⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣾⣿⠿⠛⣉⣁⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⡈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⠉⠩⠉⢩⣙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣶⣏⣁⡁⣐⣆⠈⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⣤⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢀⣿⣿⡿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣿⠏⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡈⠙⠛⠛⠻⢃⣼⣿⣿⠏⣐⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢳⣾⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⢀⣾⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁ ⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣠⣄⢹⣿⣿⣧⣤⣄⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⡿⣿⡆⢻⡟⠁⢀⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⢣⣾⣿⣿⠄⠉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠃⠉⠉⠛⠃⠉⠈⣾⣷⠾⠟⠁⢠ ⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣶⣆⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠒⢀⣀⣄⣠⣴⡟⠁⠄⠄⣰⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠿⠏⣾⡿⠃⠈⠉⠉⠛⠄⠘⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣠⣾⣿⣿
January 2022

Emote

Kid you wanna see an awesome deck?

twitchquotes: Yesterday after he went offline, i was walking down Greece.. and i saw lurky shadowy person behind a wall.. i recognized him as Octavian (Kripp) after spectating him for 25mins.. he was trying to lure kids in.."(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst.. kid you wanna see an awesome deck?"?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing