[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I'm getting mighty SPOOKED over here

twitchquotes: STOP POSTING SKELETONS im getting mighty SPOOKED over here
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015

hi reckful this is your mother :)

twitchquotes: hi reckful this is your mother :) to help you not feel lonely i made this simulation in which 10k watch you play but theyre actually all just me to prove it ill copy paste this on all my accounts :)
twitch chat
July 2019
Reckful

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

Stalin

⡿⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠞⠛⠁⠄⡼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⣦⠐⠠⡥⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡔⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢰⢏⣤⣦⣤⣍⣉⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⣤⣤⣤⣈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⣯⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⣉⣀⣠⠅⠄⣽⣿⣿⣇⠈⢈⣉⣩⣐⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⢿⢱⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠾⣿⣿ ⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣧⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣽⣋⠽⢭⣽⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⣭⣽⠁⢣⢿⣯⡉⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠈⠋⠈⠄⡈⠁⠒⠌⠊⣃⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣤⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣿⣭⣤⣬⡁⢉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing