I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
HYPE cat
⠀⢀⣤⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡤⢤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢸⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠈⢹⠀⠀⢸⡛⠏⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠋⡟⡧⠀⠀⡟⠁⠙⢛⣁⠀⠀⠈⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⠀⠀
⠀⠸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠉⠉⠓⢢⡀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠚⠁⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠑⣤⠴⠋⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠳⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣇⣀⣀⣠⠴⠃⠀⢰⠃⢀⣀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡖⠢⠤⠤⠤⢤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣤⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⣼⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⢸⡄⣿⠟⠙⢿⣿⣧⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣴⠒⠚⠋⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⢁⡜⢸⠀⠀⠹⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⡆⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠇⡏⠸⡆⠀⢻⣿⡇⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠁⠀⣾⠸⡸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⡇⠀⠀
⠀⢳⡀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⠤⠤⢞⡼⠁⠀⣷⠀⠀⢻⣧⢿⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣐⣠⠎⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠳⣝⠦⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡴⠃⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣷⢞⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢻⣮⣓⠒⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⡰⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⢋⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠃⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡎⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠇⡞⠀⠀⠠⣾⠛⠲⣤⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣹⠈⠉⠉⢻⠉⠉⠙⡿⠛⠛⠛⡟⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡴⠚⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⢸⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡟⢸⠀⠀⣠⡶⠚⠓⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠗⠒⠦⡀⠀⠸⡈⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡿⠀⢈⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⣠⠇⢹⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠃⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠓⠦⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⣠⠴⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠁⠀⣸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣦⠀⠙⢆⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣹⣿⣧⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⠎⠀⠀⣴⠏⠻⢦⣤⡴⠞⠻⢶⣤⣤⣤⡿⢷⡄⠈⢧⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣆⠀
⢠⣴⣿⠟⠋⠉⠛⠷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡄⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⡄
⢸⣿⡏⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⢁⡠⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧
⢸⣿⠀⢰⠋⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡿⠋⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠈⢣⠀⠀⣿⣿
⢸⣿⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠻⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⣿
⢸⣿⠀⠀⠑⢄⣀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠙⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠛⠁⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⠤⠤⠤⠎⠀⢠⣿⣿
⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠃⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡿
⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠦⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠾⡀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⡇
⠸⣿⣇⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⠘⡞⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⢣⠀⠈⢆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⢫⣿⣿⠁
⠀⣿⣿⡀⠈⠓⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠙⠑⠒⠦⠤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠉⠀⣼⣿⠇⠀
⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣈⠑⣄⠀⢀⡤⠔⠊⠁⠧⣠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠃⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⡤⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⢤⣀⣀⣰⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀
Holding Galactic Virgins
Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces it’s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution.
Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
WallStreetBets
Pwease put on some kawaii anime music
🍷 Would you pwease put on some kawaii anime music, perhaps puddi puddi in G Minor?Stop posting ResidentSleeper face
twitchquotes:
Guys stop posting 
face. Not many know, but that guy actually died while streaming Resident Evil. People just assumed that was sleeping, but he died of dehydration. Please respect the dead and stop posting this morbid image
face. Not many know, but that guy actually died while streaming Resident Evil. People just assumed that was sleeping, but he died of dehydration. Please respect the dead and stop posting this morbid image
twitch chat
Forsen
Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star
Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)