[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Dear Kripparian, how dare you

twitchquotes: Dear Kripparian, how dare you... I have dedicated my life to Hearthstone. I am a proud Hearthstoner and so are the rest of your fans. You cannot betray us and start playing a Hearthstone competitor. I can fall asleep to your HS streams because of how casual it is, but this game is too complicated and it keeps me awake. If you betray us we will rise up, you have been warned.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

My name is Sergei, sorry for bad England

twitchquotes: Hi my name ist Sergei. Sorry for bad england. I started bronzer II but from watch trick2g sterm everyday i climb to PLat 8. Everyday i walk 20 miles frozen tundra to stream leagu of legion on 1980 Dell computer processor. I left my wife and the vodka make me become alcoholic and i need stream supporter for helps. Please no copy pastaerino dongerino cappucino reno nevadarino bongerino plz.
twitch chat
March 2014
Trick2g

You are NOT a closer

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
August 2021
ludwig

Super Smash Bros

Tyler fatigue from nutrient deficiencies

twitchquotes: @loltyler1 your lack of fruit intake is not the reason for your deficiencies in certain vitamins and minerals, namely Zinc, Magnesium and Vitamin D3. If you are deficient in these you can experience fatigue, brain fog and low testosterone levels. Zn is found in great amounts in red meat and oysters while Mg is found in leafy greens. If you are unable to eat these foods, I suggest buying a Chelated Zinc and a Magnesium Glycinate supplement. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing