[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hammer and sickle

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January 2017

Big eyes Kurum

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠉⢹⡿⠫⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣻ ⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾ ⣿⡿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻ ⣿⣧⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣾⡿⠀
February 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police

twitchquotes: Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police. You are in violation of Penal Code 420: Not Playing The Meta. You are hereby sentenced to 69 years in jail with Scarra and Dyrone.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Popeye

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠙⠛⠻⢷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠠⠤⠄⠘⠓⠒⠶⠦⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⡽⠂⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡄⠀⠠⠁⠐⠂⠈⠁⠒⠂⠠⣤⠤⠤⠤⢀⠉⠻⣶⡀⠀⠘⣌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠿⠓⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠉⠑⠙⢇⠒⠀⠄⠀⢹⣷⠀⠀⠨⢊⡔⠀⣀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠛⠉⠁⠀⢀⣴⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⢀⣿⠏⢀⢔⠕⠁⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡟⠁⠀⢀⡤⠤⢤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠘⣷⠚⠋⠁⠔⡁⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠋⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠢⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡄⠘⡶⠒⠚⠚⠻⡛⠛⠻⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠀⢿⡏⠀⠀⡈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣉⠒⠦⠔⠀⠀⠉⠠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠹⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠷⣶⡇⠀⠀⠈⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⡀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠲⠤⠤⠬⠠⠤⠞⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠧⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠁⠉⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢀⣼⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠛⠛⠛⠻⠛⠛⠿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣴⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣆⡀⠀⠈⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣶⣤⠶⠛⢿⣦⡀⠀⠠⢀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⢶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣾⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing