I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Damn missed the TSLA pump
Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
WallStreetBets
Hey Nairo this is your cat
twitchquotes:
Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub 
twitch chat
NairoMK
I am bullied for loving the Kripparrian
twitchquotes:
Eᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀᴛ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʙᴜʟʟɪᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪᴅs ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀʏ "ʜᴇ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ" ᴏʀ "ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋ ɪs ᴀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ". ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ. ɪ ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴏɴ ʙᴜɪʟᴅ ᴀɴ OJ ʙᴏᴍʙ ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢ
twitch chat
Kripp
Eddy Pasterino and YouPorn wants to sponsor Reynad
Blockchain NFT Gaming
The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level.
That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel.
Life is good.