[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Nice hack QVC!

twitchquotes: Nice hack QVC! We all know you are hacking there is no way you would be able to guess all this! Thanks for everything im unfollowing. I hope you mommy never bakes you cookies again. 5up 4 life! HAHA ZOOMERS MALDING!
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

I sexually identify as a single Pringle

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.
twitch chat
March 2015

I sexually Identify as

Hey subs, it's me walking with my $5, don't mind me

twitchquotes: Hey subs! [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5)̲̅$̲̅]ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง It's me walking with my $5, don't mind me.
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

plebs vs subs

You've been gnomed 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⣀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠉⠙⢹⣿⣏⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡛⠛⢛⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠛⠿⠛⠻⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣽ ⣇⣀⠄⣀⡀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⢿⠿⠟⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿
November 2018

Molly

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ MOLLY༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
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