I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Reynad's mother messages Reynad
twitchquotes:
Greeting Andrey, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you "maybe" 420 blaze it. I am very concerned. I dont like that Jeffery boy and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. I hope the rest of you concerned mothers in twitch chat will copy paste this so my son will see..
twitch chat
Reynad
Classic
Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Classic
I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp. I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep. In my dream I was playing prismata and fell asleep. The same thing happened in my dream's dream. It was the worst nightmare ever and I woke up in a cold sweat. Please don't play prismata anymore I don't want to go through that again. Pls no copy pastrami.
twitch chat
Kripp
i got this new anime plot
i got this new anime plot. basically thereโs this high school girl except sheโs got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big olโ tonhongerekoogers. what happens next?! transfer student shows up with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humongous hungolomghononoloughongous
Weebs
Anime
Classic
Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)
twitchquotes:
Red ๐ด ๐ sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ. Red ๐ด ๐ด suuuus. I ๐๐ ๐ said ๐ค ๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฟ๐ฆ red ๐น ๐ด, sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, hahahahaha ๐คฃ ๐คฃ. Why 
arent you ๐๐ฏ ๐ laughing ๐ ๐? I ๐๐ ๐ฅ just made ๐ ๐ a reference ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ to the popular ๐๐๐ ๐ video ๐น ๐น game ๐ฎ ๐ฎ "Among ๐ท๐ด๐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ"! How can you ๐ ๐ not laugh ๐ ๐ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐ฏ ๐ค! Guys ๐ฆ ๐จ, this here guy ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ป๐จ๐ป doesnt laugh ๐คฃ โ๐๐
at my funny ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐ Among ๐ฐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ memes ๐ธ ๐! Lets ๐ ๐ beat โ๐๐ป ๐ฐ๐ him ๐ด ๐จ to death ๐๐ฅโ ๐! Dead ๐๐ โ body ๐ ๐ reported โ ๐ง! Skip ๐ง ๐๐ผ! Skip ๐ง ๐ง! Vote ๐ ๐ blue ๐ ๐! Blue ๐ ๐ was not an impostor ๐ ๐ . Among ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐
ฐ us ๐จ ๐จ in a nutshell ๐ ๐ hahahaha ๐๐๐ ๐. What?! Youre still ๐ค๐ ๐ค๐ not laughing ๐ ๐ your 
ass ๐ ๐
ฐ off ๐ด ๐ดโ ? I ๐ ๐ made ๐ ๐ SEVERAL ๐ฏ ๐ฏ funny ๐๐๐ ๐โ references ๐๐๐ ๐ to Among ๐ฐ ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ Us ๐จ ๐บ๐ธ and YOU ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฅ STILL ๐ค๐ ๐ ARENT LAUGHING ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ??!!! Bruh โ ๐ณ๐คฃ๐. Ya ๐๐ผ ๐ hear ๐ ๐ that? Wooooooosh ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ. Whats ๐ฆ ๐ฆ woooosh ๐ ๐? Oh ๐ ๐, nothing โ ๐ซ. Just the sound ๐ ๐ of a joke ๐ ๐ flying โ โ over ๐ณ๐๐ฆ ๐ your head ๐ ๐. Whats ๐ฆ that? You ๐ think ๐ญ ๐ญ im ๐ ๐ annoying ๐ ๐ ? Kinda ๐
๐
sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, bro ๐ ๐โบ๐ฌ. Hahahaha ๐ ๐! Anyway ๐ ๐, yea ๐ ๐ฏ, gotta go ๐ ๐ do tasks โ ๐. Hahahaha ๐ ๐!
arent you ๐๐ฏ ๐ laughing ๐ ๐? I ๐๐ ๐ฅ just made ๐ ๐ a reference ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ to the popular ๐๐๐ ๐ video ๐น ๐น game ๐ฎ ๐ฎ "Among ๐ท๐ด๐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ"! How can you ๐ ๐ not laugh ๐ ๐ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐ฏ ๐ค! Guys ๐ฆ ๐จ, this here guy ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ป๐จ๐ป doesnt laugh ๐คฃ โ๐๐
at my funny ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐ Among ๐ฐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ memes ๐ธ ๐! Lets ๐ ๐ beat โ๐๐ป ๐ฐ๐ him ๐ด ๐จ to death ๐๐ฅโ ๐! Dead ๐๐ โ body ๐ ๐ reported โ ๐ง! Skip ๐ง ๐๐ผ! Skip ๐ง ๐ง! Vote ๐ ๐ blue ๐ ๐! Blue ๐ ๐ was not an impostor ๐ ๐ . Among ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐
ฐ us ๐จ ๐จ in a nutshell ๐ ๐ hahahaha ๐๐๐ ๐. What?! Youre still ๐ค๐ ๐ค๐ not laughing ๐ ๐ your ass ๐ ๐
ฐ off ๐ด ๐ดโ ? I ๐ ๐ made ๐ ๐ SEVERAL ๐ฏ ๐ฏ funny ๐๐๐ ๐โ references ๐๐๐ ๐ to Among ๐ฐ ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ Us ๐จ ๐บ๐ธ and YOU ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฅ STILL ๐ค๐ ๐ ARENT LAUGHING ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ??!!! Bruh โ ๐ณ๐คฃ๐. Ya ๐๐ผ ๐ hear ๐ ๐ that? Wooooooosh ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ. Whats ๐ฆ ๐ฆ woooosh ๐ ๐? Oh ๐ ๐, nothing โ ๐ซ. Just the sound ๐ ๐ of a joke ๐ ๐ flying โ โ over ๐ณ๐๐ฆ ๐ your head ๐ ๐. Whats ๐ฆ that? You ๐ think ๐ญ ๐ญ im ๐ ๐ annoying ๐ ๐ ? Kinda ๐
๐
sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, bro ๐ ๐โบ๐ฌ. Hahahaha ๐ ๐! Anyway ๐ ๐, yea ๐ ๐ฏ, gotta go ๐ ๐ do tasks โ ๐. Hahahaha ๐ ๐!
twitch chat