[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Chat tries to convince Kripp to play Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: 🐿 Every minute, a poor weasel dies from starvation due to unemployment. You, yes, YOU nl_Kripp, can make a difference. By playing at least one weasel in every deck, you ensure a living wage for weasels worldwide. Then again, you could just let them starve, the choice is yours 🐿
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December 2016
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Everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked

twitchquotes: Diablo. PoE. WoW. GW2. Long ago,the four games lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked. Only Kripp, master of no life gaming, could stop them, but when the world needed him the most, he played ResidentSleeper stone.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp's warmup show

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, thanks for being Kripp's warmup show. Here's a donger bill [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] to go buy your whole family roofs
twitch chat
April 2015
Reynad

Mitochondrion is a double membrane-bound organelle

twitchquotes: The mitochondrion (plural mitochondria) is a double membrane-bound organelle found in all eukaryotic organisms. Some cells in some multicellular organisms may however lack them (for example, mature mammalian red blood cells). A number of unicellular organisms, such as microsporidia, parabasalids, and diplomonads, have also reduced or transformed their mitochondria into other structures. To date, only one eukaryote, Monocercomonoides, is known to have completely lost its mitochondria.
twitch chat
July 2017

feeding the hungry on the rift

twitchquotes: wow qt is such a good guy <3 while most people are spending new years with their friends and family, this legend is feeding the hungry on the rift. much love brother and happy new year.
twitch chat
January 2018
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing