I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
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Intelligence and tolerance
twitchquotes:
This is the best possible chat. The combination of inteligence and tolerance, it's just crazy. I never thought I'd ever say this, but you guys make me proud I'm a member of twitch chat. 
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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes
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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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Team Dignitas is the Cardashians of league
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HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS
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Scarra quit dignitas to start a life of crime
twitchquotes:
Hey Michael it's me Scarra. I've made a huge mistake, I quit dignitas to start a life of crime, but I've already been arrested for attacking a rival gang member with a cheeseburger. Please bail me out..
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imaqtpie