I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I hate myself and my life
twitchquotes:
I hate myself and my life, but instead of improving either of those things, I'm drinking alone while watching a rich, balding vegan play children's card games for 15 thousand other losers 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Repeating yourselves like parrots
twitchquotes:
Wow, you imbeciles are especially stupid tonight. Repeating yourselves like parrots, spouting puerile taunts at each other, using crude 'emoticons'... Can you even form SENTENCES? One day you'll all be too dumb to even type your 'dongers,' and then twitch chat can finally have some merit. Until then, I'll stick to the moderated streams..
twitch chat
Kripp
I hate Twitch Chat
Alester Crowley
⡕⡧⡏⣞⢵⡣⣳⣕⢞⢮⡺⣕⡳⣵⣫⢷⠋⣠⣤⣂⠬⡓⢬⠢⣣⣿⢫⣶⡽⣿⡡⣋⢞⡡⣚⠤⠂⣀⠉⠚⡮⣳⣱⢭⡫⣫⡺⣜⢎⡞⡼⡽⡽⣝⠮
⣣⢯⣺⡪⡷⣝⢮⢞⡽⣕⢯⣺⢮⠗⠋⠄⢀⢐⣒⡨⠝⣚⢵⣹⡾⣱⣟⣟⡾⡞⣿⣵⣝⠪⢔⡚⠭⠅⠄⠄⠈⠓⣗⣗⡽⣕⡕⡗⡵⡝⡮⣫⢯⢷⢹
⡯⣳⢵⢽⢝⣮⢯⢯⣞⣷⡿⠞⡁⠅⠐⡀⠂⠄⠤⠭⠭⠥⣽⢟⣼⡭⣭⡭⡽⣽⣮⢿⣮⡙⣒⣒⡛⠠⠈⡀⠂⡀⠄⠳⣯⢶⡹⣪⡪⣎⢯⢾⢽⣝⢜
⡯⣯⣫⢯⣻⡼⣯⣟⣷⠛⡁⢂⠠⠈⢀⠄⠄⠂⠨⠭⢍⣽⣫⣾⣿⣿⣗⡽⣿⣞⣾⢷⡹⣯⡁⣒⠂⠐⢀⠂⠄⢂⢁⠄⡈⠻⣞⣧⢳⡣⣏⣯⣟⢮⡳
⡯⣺⣪⢗⣗⣿⣻⠏⡁⠢⠐⠐⠠⢑⠡⠨⠐⠠⢚⣩⣿⣳⣻⣿⣽⣭⣯⣭⣧⣷⣟⣟⣟⣽⣷⡲⢬⠈⠄⠎⠨⠠⡠⢈⠄⠄⠈⠹⡷⣝⣞⣾⢽⣳⢕
⣟⣞⢾⢽⣾⡿⠋⠐⠈⠄⢁⢐⠅⡣⠁⠡⠐⣈⡵⢋⠝⣩⢏⣚⡜⣜⣆⢽⢪⣎⢞⣌⢏⢯⠹⡻⣐⠊⠐⡈⠄⡁⠄⠂⠡⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⣳⣿⣻⡽⣕
⡵⣳⣟⣿⡽⠁⠈⠄⢄⠪⡐⢌⢊⡐⢌⠂⠜⡋⠄⠅⠊⡁⡁⠋⠎⣾⢸⢸⣸⢸⡌⠎⢃⠁⡓⠉⡊⠛⢆⢂⠃⠅⠡⠨⡐⠠⠐⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣷⣻⣜
⣯⣻⣾⠏⠄⠄⡄⠕⢌⠊⡔⡢⠡⡊⠔⡡⠑⠌⠌⠌⠂⠐⠄⠁⠂⠁⠏⢺⠎⠊⠁⠐⠄⠂⠄⠡⠄⢑⠐⠠⠑⡁⠅⠨⠠⠁⠂⡀⠂⠄⠠⠈⢻⡷⣕
⡷⣿⠃⠄⠄⠌⠄⡁⡂⠌⠂⠊⠈⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⢀⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠄⡀⠐⠄⢀⠁⠠⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠻⡵
⣿⠇⠄⠄⡈⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣖⣾⣾⣾⣾⣯⣷⣟⣾⣷⣷⣽⣼⢌⢆⢄⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡻
⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣠⣶⣶⡀⣀⣀⠄⢀⠮⡾⣫⣙⠙⠛⠻⢻⢿⠿⡻⣟⡟⠝⠜⠕⠉⠂⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣄⣠⣶⣦⣀⡀⠄⢀⣴⡴⣝
⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣺⣿⣿⡧⣿⣿⣷⣲⣵⡝⠉⢀⠁⠄⡀⠄⠈⣰⡬⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠑⠄⠄⢠⠆⣛⣉⣿⣿⣷⢺⣿⣿⡆⢿⣿⣿⢿⣝⢴
⣿⡰⣶⡀⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣟⢿⣿⣻⠘⣟⠧⠔⢗⢔⣗⣽⣿⠄⠄⠄⠧⠰⠋⠄⣤⣷⣵⣽⣯⣯⢿⣯⢟⡾⣿⣿⡃⢸⣟⡿⣏⠮⢘
⣟⡏⣾⣇⢹⣿⣿⠽⢿⢿⢿⣟⡟⠷⠙⢝⠐⠅⢸⢨⠄⠘⢜⣘⣴⢿⢕⣿⣿⠅⠄⡇⡅⡃⡆⣰⣟⡗⡯⡫⡳⣻⠿⢙⠹⡽⡿⡓⠁⢺⣳⡟⣾⡧⢘
⡯⡪⠾⡷⢨⣛⣷⢑⠡⡁⡙⡁⡂⡂⡈⡆⢕⠅⢪⠢⡁⡂⢙⣿⢏⢊⣗⣽⣿⡏⠄⠈⣿⠮⠄⣷⡳⣝⡞⡮⡣⣣⢱⠄⠅⠉⠄⠄⠄⠘⢋⢵⡿⡋⢂
⣟⡦⣄⠈⢳⢫⢷⢱⢑⠌⡂⠐⠄⡑⡐⡘⠨⢈⠢⡑⡁⡂⠐⣝⠅⣴⡁⠙⠋⠄⠄⢀⠪⡑⠄⣿⣟⢎⢾⢙⢜⢅⢑⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠪⠃⢁⣔⢮
⣪⢾⡽⡗⠄⠉⠊⠂⠌⠨⠄⠈⡐⡐⡀⢆⠑⢄⢁⠂⠄⠄⢈⢮⣺⡺⣿⣗⢤⠠⠐⠄⢌⢂⠄⢻⣝⢎⢎⢌⠢⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠠⠈⠘⢗⣕
⣣⡷⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢔⢄⢄⢣⢑⠄⡢⣪⠪⡠⠁⢰⢻⠘⠘⡙⠉⠚⠉⠄⠐⠈⠠⠄⢸⣪⡷⣕⢔⠕⢌⠄⢀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⢲
⡗⠃⠄⠐⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡱⣳⣗⣵⣵⣿⣮⡧⠣⠄⠊⡆⡮⢯⠛⠙⠉⠙⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⢰⡳⡻⣟⢼⢜⢔⢕⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄
⠁⠄⠠⠁⢈⠄⠄⠂⢀⠠⠄⢸⣿⣿⣽⣿⣯⣿⣿⢇⢯⡂⠄⡣⣪⣾⣼⣾⣿⢶⣒⠤⡁⠄⠄⣽⣯⢯⢯⣳⢝⡕⡇⡕⡠⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠠⠄⠄
Ripperoni Pepperoni dude
twitchquotes:
✓I'm just gonna shove this shit out ✓ *I'm pretty strong right now* ✓ *FUCK man* ✓ *NO SMALL CAT THOSE ARE MY RIBS* ✓ *I love it dude* ✓ *Epic nice dude* ✓ *Just gonna go shop* ✓ Did that really fucking hit me? ✓ Ripperoni Pepperoni dude ✓.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
I just thought you looked cute in your picture
twitchquotes:
hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you 
sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
twitch chat