[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Sorry, just a fact of how I feel

twitchquotes: No I'm just not call with white supremacy y'all. It's really not that... I think a lot of you gamers are actually white supremacists. Sorry, just a fact of how I feel.
twitch chat
May 2020

You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa

twitchquotes: You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa. I’m so disappointed. I look up to both of them and hope one day to get to get out of silver. If anything this is an extremely bronze, disgusting chat.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Sauté the Pepperoni

twitchquotes: First you boil some pasta, preferably Fagottini ( ͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ノ ~~~~~Then you sauté the Pepperoni ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━ (o o o)
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

The Godfather

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⡀⠄⡀⠄⡀⢀⠄⡀⢀⠄⡀⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⡀⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠁⠈⠄⠂⠄⡀⠄⠄⡀⢀⠄⢀⠄⢀⠄⡀⠠⠄⠄⠂⠁⠈⡀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⡀⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⡀⠄⠄⠁⢀⢁⠄⡀⠠⠄⠁⡈⢀⠈⢀⠠⠄⢀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⠂⠄⡠⣲⢧⣳⡳⡯⣟⣼⢽⣺⣜⡵⣝⢜⢔⠔⡅⢂⠄⠄⠁⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠈⠄⢀⡇⡯⡺⢵⣳⢿⣻⣟⣿⣿⣽⢾⣝⢮⡳⣣⢣⠣⡃⢅⠂⠐⠈⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠐⢀⠇⡪⡸⡸⣝⣾⣻⣯⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⡽⣗⡯⣞⢜⢌⠢⡡⢈⠈⠄⠁⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠈⠆⠕⢔⠡⣓⣕⢷⣻⣽⣝⢷⣻⣻⣝⢯⢿⠹⠸⡑⡅⠕⠠⠠⠄⠅⠄⠂⠄⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠡⡑⢍⠌⡊⢢⢢⢱⠼⣺⢿⢝⠮⢪⣪⡺⣘⡜⣑⢤⢐⠅⠡⢂⠡⠐⡀⢀⠠⠐⠄⠐⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⢀⠡⠨⡢⡑⡌⡔⡮⡷⣭⢧⣳⠭⣪⣲⣼⣾⣟⣻⣽⣺⣸⣜⢌⢆⢌⠐⠄⡀⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠌⡢⡵⠺⠞⠟⠛⠯⠟⠟⠝⡫⢗⠟⠝⠙⠉⠊⠑⠉⠉⠉⠑⢒⠠⠁⠄⡀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠐⡀⠄⠄⠅⡪⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢕⢔⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠠⠐⠈⢀⠄⠠⠄⡁⠄⡀⠂⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠂⡑⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡂⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⡐⡀⠂⢀⠐⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⠄⠂⢕⢅⢄⠄⣀⡀⢄⠄⠁⣀⣔⡵⣿⣯⠧⡣⣢⡠⢀⢀⡠⠐⢀⢐⠠⢀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡔⢀⠘⢽⣻⣶⣥⣉⠥⡣⣱⣷⠻⣪⣻⣷⡣⡣⢫⣞⣗⡦⡵⢻⠺⡸⠐⡀⠐⠄⠂⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠘⡀⠔⢀⠑⠍⠍⡽⣽⣿⣻⠂⡷⣯⡿⣟⡿⠌⡆⠘⣾⣻⢵⢕⠔⢀⠁⠠⠈⡀⠁⠄⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⡐⢰⢈⢄⠱⢽⣺⢳⠁⣈⠄⠄⠈⠊⠈⠄⠄⢡⣐⢫⢯⡢⢊⢄⢪⠨⠠⠄⡀⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠂⠠⠱⣕⡣⡇⡏⢮⢕⣸⣾⠠⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠌⢟⣜⡵⣯⢷⡴⡅⠅⡂⠠⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⢀⠈⠌⡪⢝⢾⣝⣎⠒⠏⠙⠠⠑⠁⠆⠒⠐⠐⠉⢀⠑⣍⡿⣽⡽⡂⠕⠄⠄⠂⢀⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⡈⠄⢀⠄⠊⠍⢯⣷⣏⢊⢀⣈⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⢶⣴⢤⢬⣌⢻⡺⡻⠈⠄⠂⠄⠂⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢀⠐⠄⠄⠂⠡⠑⠕⠅⡕⡽⡑⡁⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠁⠁⠠⢊⠊⠢⠈⠄⠨⠄⠄⠁⠐⢀⠈⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⢀⠄⠄⠈⡀⢂⠐⠄⠂⠁⠠⠁⡢⡪⣢⣲⣦⣖⡔⡤⡨⡐⢄⠌⠠⠈⠐⠄⠂⠠⠁⢈⠠⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⠄⠢⠂⠈⡀⠈⡀⠈⠰⠹⡨⠑⡑⠕⠕⠊⠌⠌⠄⠐⠄⠂⠁⢈⠄⡁⠐⠄⡐⢀⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡐⢄⠑⠄⠄⡇⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠂⢀⠐⠄⡈⠠⠈⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⠁⠠⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡀⢊⠨⢀⢊⠄⠨⡂⡂⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠠⠄⠂⠄⠄⡀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⡀⠁⡀⠂⠄⠂⠁⠨⠄⠅⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⠄⢂⠢⡀⠄⠬⠄⠂⠅⡀⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠂⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠂⢈⠐⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠅⠐⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠂⢐⠄⠐⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠕⠈⡂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠂⠄
February 2021

Szechuan sauce at McDonald's

"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!”. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, “WUBBALUBBA DUB DUB” whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesn’t understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Text-to-Speech Playing