I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
BAN ONE FROG GET THE WHOLE POND
twitchquotes:
BAN 
ONE FROG GET THE WHOLE POND
ONE FROG GET THE WHOLE POND
twitch chat
Ban X Get The Whole Y
QTPie's journal
twitchquotes:
QTPies Journal; These streamers are afraid of me. I've seen their true face. Diamond 2 is an extended gutter and the gutter is full of trash. And when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin, like Dom and Jared will drown. The accumulated filth of all their missed flashes and low mechanic champions will foam up around their waists and all the annie mains and boosted monkeys will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "No."
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Boosted Animal Jared
League of Legends
WIN LOSE STREAM EAT GIMME GIMME
twitchquotes:
I WIN 
I LOSE I STREAM I EAT GIMME GIMME
I LOSE I STREAM I EAT GIMME GIMME
twitch chat
Kripp
eat hot chip and lie
twitchquotes:
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
twitch chat
without throwing your cat across the room
twitchquotes:
Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
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