[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโ€™s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโ€™s a ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโ€ฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโ€ฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโ€ฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

Nicholas Cage You Don't Say

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
ascii art
May 2018

Hyper improvement platform

twitchquotes: Micheal, in this brand new season full of unexpected challenges and adventures in the world that is solo q, what can I / We / YOUR VIEWERS use in order to maximise our game knowledge and as a result increase our chance of getting higher ranks, I need a hyper improvement platform man, hit me up!
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

sellout

League of Legends

PepegaPirate

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ”โ Šโ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ โขฆโก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โกโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โฃ†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โ –โ โข€โฃพโฃ†โกฐโ ถโกทโ ถโฃ€โฃพโฃ„โ „โ ˆโฃ†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โก„โ „โ  โขคโฃคโ ”โ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โขงโฃคโขฃโฃคโ ‹โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ฃโขคโก โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ ˜โ ฆโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขปโกŸโ ปโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ปโกŸโ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โก€โ ž โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โขขโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โก โ Šโ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ขโฃคโฃคโฃดโฃถโกถโขถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃ†โข’โฃคโฃคโ „โข โ คโ คโ šโ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŽโขปโฃฟโ โก€โฃฟโกŽโฃฟโฃฟโฃ€โฃƒโ งโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โฃ โฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกนโกผโขฟโฃ โ ตโ ฟโฃ‘โขฟโฃŸโฃ›โ คโฃฉโกโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โข โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขโกœโกปโฃทโกฝโฃฟโฃทโฃญโฃฟโฃฎโฃฝโฃฏโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโฃพโกฟโ Ÿโ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŒโขทโฃ™โ พโ ฏโฃ’โกฟโ ญโฃโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โ ›โ ญโ ญโ Ÿโขฃโ Œโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฎโฃŸโ ทโฃฆโฃคโฃโฃ›โ ฒโ ถโ ถโ ’โข‚โฃ€โ  โ „โ โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ ™โ ฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโกทโ ถโ ญโ ญโ ญโ ตโ ถโ ’โ ‹โ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
ascii art
June 2021

Pepe

AYAYA star

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ€โฃคโกดโ ถโ Ÿโ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ปโ ถโขฆโฃคโฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ โฃดโกŸโ ‹โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ™โขปโฃฆโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โฃ โกพโ ‹โ ˆโฃฟโฃถโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ โฃถโฃฟโ โ ™โขทโฃ„โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โฃดโ โ „โ „โ „โ ธโฃ‡โ ‰โ ปโฃฆโฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ€โฃดโ Ÿโ ‰โฃธโ ‡โ „โ „โ „โ นโฃฆโ „โ „ โ „โฃผโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขปโก†โ „โ „โ ™โ ทโฃฆโฃดโ พโ ‹โ „โ „โขฐโกŸโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ นโฃงโ „ โขฐโกโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโฃทโ „โข€โฃคโกพโ ‹โ ™โขทโฃคโก€โ „โฃพโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขนโก† โฃฟโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃธโฃทโ ›โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ›โฃพโฃ‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟ โฃฟโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ โฃดโ Ÿโ ‰โขปโก„โ „ AYAYA โ „โฃพโกŸโ ‰โ ปโฃฆโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟ โฃฟโก€โ „โข€โฃดโ žโ ‹โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโฃทโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃพโ โ „โ „โ „โ ™โ ณโฃฆโก€โ „โ „โฃฟ โ ธโฃงโ พโ ฟโ ทโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโขพโฃทโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโฃพโกทโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ พโ ฟโ ทโฃผโ ‡ โ „โขปโฃ†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขฟโก„โ „โ „โข โกฟโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฐโกŸโ „ โ „โ „โ ปโฃ†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โฃทโ „โ „โฃพโ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฐโ Ÿโ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ ™โขทโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขนโฃ‡โฃธโกโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ โกพโ ‹โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ™โ ณโฃฆโฃ„โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โขฟโกฟโ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ โฃดโ žโ ‹โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ ›โ ณโ ถโฃฆโฃคโฃผโฃงโฃคโฃดโ ถโ žโ ›โ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
ascii art
April 2020

Weebs

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing