[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Vandelar from the castle jousting team

twitchquotes: Hail Kripp, 'tis I, Vandelar from the castle jousting team. How does life treat you today? I notice you continue to fool around with children's playing cards, some things never change! Art thou still playing the wizard of warcraft children's game? I never had time for such pursuits, for I found myself occupied with defending my honor, and laying with beautiful wenches. Alas, it was nice to see thou again, write me and we shall visit the tavern Kreygasm
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

4Head

⣿⣿⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⠇⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢀⡖⣻⣿⣶⣤⣀⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡇⢠⣿⠏⢁⣀⣀⢨⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣩⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣧⢀⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⣿⣿ ⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢠⡽⢻ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣷⣾ ⢻⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣇⣀⠄⠉⠉⠄⣀⣈⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣸⡆⢸⣿⡟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⣃⠈⣿⣷⣿⡿⠛⢛⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣟⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⠄⠹⣿⣿⣷⣄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021

IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP?

twitchquotes: 📞👽 HELLO? SINATRAA (SPECIMEN #3457) 📞👽HOW IS YOUR MISSION GOING? 📞👽 IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP? 📞👽
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

my first attempt at making a copypasta

twitchquotes: ok guys this is my first attempt at making a copypasta so wish me luck
twitch chat
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing