I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant
twitchquotes:
only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant 
only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant
twitch chat
Reynad
You have been gifted free happiness
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
You have been gifted free happiness. Type 
to activateββββββββββββββββββββββββ
You have been gifted free happiness. Type to activateββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat
spagootie
sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days.
next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.
This is the shittiest reply ever Modern Warfare version
twitchquotes:
This is the shittiest reply ever. Modern Warfare requires movement, camping, claymoring, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not βpositionsβ in Modern Warfare. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer
twitchquotes:
Κ Ν‘β Νβ Ν‘β Κ Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer, had a very Salty Nose. All of the other Streamers laughed and used to call him names. 
Then one salty Krippmas Eve, Forsen came to say, "Reynad with your salt so bright, won't you topdeck my sleigh tonight?" Then all Streamers loved him as they jerked off with glee, Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer, you'll go down in history! Κ Ν‘β Νβ Ν‘β Κ
Then one salty Krippmas Eve, Forsen came to say, "Reynad with your salt so bright, won't you topdeck my sleigh tonight?" Then all Streamers loved him as they jerked off with glee, Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer, you'll go down in history! Κ Ν‘β Νβ Ν‘β Κ
twitch chat
Reynad