[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

I hope Zoe wins but in Spanish

twitchquotes: Espero que gane Zoe xD. Soy main de Zoe y es tan tan divertida!! Me encanta trolear con su burbuja, y sus diálogos son tan monos como cuando canta sobre tarta de chocolate LOL! Es super random pero también mas lista de lo que parece, justo como yo xD
twitch chat
October 2020

League of Legends

Jared, one final ff

twitchquotes: The year is 2027, Jared has just returned from his third tour in North Korea. Each time he fired his rifle he whispered the same word, "/ff". He looks down to the 9mm in his belt and dreams of seeing imaqtpie and Dom one last time, one final "/ff'
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Kripp's recent Pornhub purchases

twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Cat anime girl

⣿⡟⠙⠛⠋⠩⠭⣉⡛⢛⠫⠭⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠋⣀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⡭⠭⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣞⣡⠴⠚⠁⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⡴⠁⡜⣵⢗⢀⠄⢠⡔⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⡜⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠉⣠⠋⠠⠄⢀⡄⠄⠄⣠⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⠸⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣠⣬⣭⣛⠄⠁⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣏⠄⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⢀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣸⠈⠄⠄⠰⠾⠴⢾⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⠆⠄⣦⣶⣦⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣋⣀⣈⠙⠛⡛⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡆⢀⣈⣉⢉⣿⣿⣯⣄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣧⣽⣍⣾⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠩⠔⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⣿ ⣿⠃⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⠄⠄⡀⡀⢀⣤⣴⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⢹
November 2020

Weebs

Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™?

twitchquotes: Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™? PogChamp I love this game! (Paid viewer from the TES:L™ Developers)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing