I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on
twitchquotes:
I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
Wake up realization
zZzZ...
＜⌒／ヽ-､_＿_
／＜_/＿＿＿＿／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
∧_∧
( ･_･) [insert text here]
＿| ⊃／(＿＿_
／ └-(＿＿＿_／
Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?
I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
DrDisRespectLIVE
Shungite
I legit LOVE this emote
twitchquotes:
<--- I legit LOVE this emote, but because of normie people I rarely (if not at all) get to use this emote. It's depressing having something you love, being taken away from you by a despicable small group.
<--- I legit LOVE this emote, but because of normie people I rarely (if not at all) get to use this emote. It's depressing having something you love, being taken away from you by a despicable small group.
twitch chat
