[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Finally beat the first boss Honker

twitchquotes: Hi Kripparrian. For 2 weeks I was stuck in Hearthstone. I nearly gave up on it, however, after watching your stream and learning so much, I decided to buy 40 packs and make a new deck. Lo and behold after my 7th game I finally defeated the first boss Honker. Thank you Kripparrian.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

sellout

Classic

The mighty DONGER

twitchquotes: แ•™ DansGame โ•ฑ He is faster แ•™ DansGame โ•ฑ He is stronger แ•™ DansGame โ•ฑ Who is he? แ•™ DansGame โ•ฑ The mighty DONGER แ•™ DansGame โ•ฑ
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

๐Ÿ†HAPPY SPANKSGIVING๐Ÿ’ฆ

โ€ผ๏ธITS๐Ÿ— SPANKSGIVING ๐Ÿ‚ BITCHESโ€ผ๏ธOn this day ๐Ÿ—“ many years ago ๐Ÿ˜ฎ the SLUTTY ๐Ÿ‘  PILGRIMS ๐ŸŽฉ sailed โ›ต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ŸŒŠ HOEcean in a quest ๐Ÿ‘€to find ๐Ÿ”Ž more ๐Ÿ˜ COCKS ๐Ÿ† to SUCK! ๐Ÿ‘… Together with the ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NAUGHTY ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NATIVES ๐Ÿ‘น, they gathered ๐Ÿ‘ซ around the dinner table ๐Ÿฝ and had ๐ŸŽ‰ our nationโ€™s very 1๏ธโƒฃst GANG BANG! ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ We honor ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป their ORGY ๐Ÿ˜ฎ every year ๐Ÿ“† by giving THANKS ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ to all ๐Ÿฅฐ thatโ€™s important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ, Friends ๐Ÿ‘ฌ, Freedom ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, and DICK! ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿ‘… So grab your BUNS, ๐ŸžโœŠ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œsqueeze those BREASTS, ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿคฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ŸŒฝ๐ŸŒฝ amount of DICK ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ˜ฉ into that hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐Ÿ•ณ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ‘… Ladies ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ, just like your ๐Ÿฆƒ THOTSgiving ๐Ÿฆƒ turkey, itโ€™s time โฐ to throw your legs ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธin the air ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธand prepare to get โžก๏ธ STUFFED ๐Ÿ™€! After dinner,๐Ÿดitโ€™s time ๐Ÿ˜ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐Ÿฅง Show Daddy ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ how ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ you are and LICKK ๐Ÿ˜› his WishBONE ๐Ÿฆด until he gets as HARD ๐Ÿ”as PlyMOUTH rock โ›ฐ and shoots ๐Ÿ’ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐Ÿฅฃ! ๐Ÿ‘… Midnight ๐ŸŒ™ starts ๐Ÿ˜ˆ BLACK โฌ›๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ› so send ๐Ÿ“ค this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ THOTS ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธyou are thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ for! If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back, sail ๐Ÿ”™ to England ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฎ If you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back, youโ€™ll be getting your corn ๐ŸŒฝ CREAMED ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅฐ. Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back or more, and the ๐Ÿ™€ BIGGEST, ๐Ÿ™€ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโšซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ† COCK ๐Ÿ˜ฑ is CUMMING ๐Ÿ’ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

NSFW

Holiday

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