I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
You. Me. Gas station
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
UwU what's this? Nuzzles how are you
twitchquotes:
Rawr🐲🐊 x3😋 nuzzles how are you😉🙂 pounces on you😛 you’re😃 so😄 warm🤒😈 o3o😏 notices😯 you have a bulge🍆 o:😯😮 someone’s happy😃 ;)😉😜 nuzzles your necky wecky😈😗~ murr~ hehehe😊 rubbies👋🤚 your bulgy🍆 wolgy you’re😌 so big😯😮 :oooo rubbies👋🤚 more on your bulgy🍆 wolgy it🚫 doesn’t stop🛑 growing ·///· 😐kisses😚😘 you🙂 and lickies😝👅💦💦
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Weebs
Chinese characters wave
twitchquotes:
厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下厂下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十士廿卞广下广卞廿士十一卉半与本二上旦
twitch chat
Kripp
Response to Pokimane's tease that she might leave Twitch
tare you kidding me? i spent so much money on you, tier 3 every month and you’re not even going to be on Twitch anymore? this is unjust! not to mention the countless channel points ive collected to redeem on POKI stickers and maybe even more! ResidentSleeper, L streamer.
Pokimane
Trump captains Australian TSM division
twitchquotes:
Today pro-gaming team TSM announced that their star Hearthstone player Jeffrey "Trump" Shih will be moving to Australia to captain their new division, AuTSM. Way to go Trump!
twitch chat
Trump