[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

When RICK talk, my hand automatically go to my ears

twitchquotes: When R I C K Talk, My Hand Automatically Go To My Ears. I Hear Ignorance In Every Sentence And Feel Like I'm Having An Aneurysm. All Becoming Shut The Fuck Up
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Purify is a great card

twitchquotes: Hey guys blizzard here and we just wanted to say purify is a great card if you combo it with ancient watcher you spend 2 cards to get a 4 mana 4/5! think of all that value... If you want even more value you can try it with zombie chow! its a 3 mana 2/3!!!! Finally we just wanted to say we thought it would be better as a rare but we realized priest is not the best in arena so we made it common so almost all priests will have it!...
twitch chat
August 2016
PlayHearthstone

Hearthstone

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here!

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here! Down here. But which way is down? And how much does down weigh? Well, down weighs about 1/100 of a g/cm3 . It is light, and airy, which makes it a great source of insulation and buoyancy for waterbirds. But if you let go of down, it falls down. So that's which way down is, it's the direction that gravity is pulling everything. Now for someone on the other side of the Earth, my down is their up, but where are falling things going? Why do things fall? Are they being pushed or pulled? Or, is it because of TIME TRAVEL.
March 2020

Ahegao

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⢓ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⢛⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣽⣋⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣧⡠⣭⣭⣿⡧ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡟⣿⢻⠃⣻⣨⣻⠿⡀⣝⡿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣜⢿⣝⡿⡻⢔ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡟⣷⢿⢈⣚⣓⡡⣻⣿⣶⣬⣛⣓⣉⡻⢿⣎⠢⠻⣴⡾⠫ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠃⢹⡼⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⣹⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠷⣎⡼⠆⣿⠵⣫ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠸⡟⡜⣩⡄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢀⢀⣿⣷⣿⣿⡐⡇⡄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⢶⢻⣧⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣇⡟⣇⣷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣆⣤⣽⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣴⡇⣿⢨⣾⣿⢹⢸ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠊⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⢱⢺⡇⡏⣿⣿⣸⡼ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡿⠄⣿⣷⣾⡍⣭⣶⣿⣿⡌⣼⣹⢱⠹⣿⣇⣧ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠁⣤⣭⣭⡌⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⢹⡇⣭⣤⣶⣤⡝⡼ ⠄⣀⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡏⣈⡻⡿⠃⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡼⠁⣿⣿⣿⡿⢷⢸ ⢰⣷⡧⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢠⡛⠿⠄⠠⠬⠿⣿⠭⠭⢱⣇⣀⣭⡅⠶⣾⣷⣶ ⠈⢿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡛⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⠄⠄⡜⠄⠄⣤⢀⣶⣮⡍⣴ ⠄⠈⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⢩⣝⠃⠄⠄⢀⡄⡎⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⠄⠅⣴⣶⣶⠄⣶
January 2021

Weebs

Mario Party Superstars Bowser Eat Shit Sticker

⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⢀⣦⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢛⣿⣿⣧⣝⣻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⡿⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣾⠟⠀⣈⣂⣀⣀⠀⣴⠞⣿⠶⠛⠛⠛⠁⠈⠻⢿⢻⣻⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⠘⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷⢹⣦⣴⣾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣟⣋⡁⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⢿⣿⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠿⣏⠀⢠⣈⠻⣿⣿⢱⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⡌⠀⠀⠛⠛⢛ ⣀⠀⠀⢈⣻⣿⠿⠛⠉⠸⣿⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⡀⢠⣿⣿⣦⣝ ⣿⣿⣾⡟⠉⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⢿⡇⠀⢀⣀⣀⡈⢿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠙⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢰⠄⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡹⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿ ⡀⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⢀⣬⣥⡤⣠⣤⡰⣿⣟⣿⣦⣶⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⢎⠹⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣰⣶⣦⡤⣠⣿⣿⡿ ⣿⣷⡆⠀⣽⠇⢠⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣃⢨⢀⣿⡿⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⡧⠉⠀ ⣿⠏⠀⣼⠏⠀⢠⠍⢀⡐⣡⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠝⡛⠿⠟⣻⡍⠀⢩⢠⣿⣿⠃⠀⢬⣟⡻⠿⠿⠇⢿⡕⠀⢠⣶ ⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠈⠀⠠⠈⣴⠎⠀⢰⣦⡶⠇⡃⠀⠀⠈⠃⣤⣀⣿⣿⢋⣀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠘⠻ ⠀⢘⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⣴⡦⢃⣵⣶⠀⠈⠋⠁⣄⣻⣤⣶⣶⣶⣯⣽⣿⣿⡜⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠸⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠋⠉⠛⠷⣮⣙⢵⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠘⣛⣭⡶⠟⢣⣤ ⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⢛⣫⡍⠀⠀⠀⣹⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⠟⠋⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠻⠆⠛⣿⠟⠛⢿⠟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠘⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠿⠿⠓⢲⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣛⠃⠃⣸⢿⡄⣀⠛⣿⠛⣃⡆⢰⣟⡛⠀⣿⣇⣀⣿⢸⡇⢘⢻⡟⢛⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣉⡀⢰⡿⠾⣷⠘⡇⣿⠀⣬⡁⢠⣉⣻⡆⣿⡏⠉⣿⢸⡇⢸⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠉⠁⢀⣭⣥⣧⣭⣴⣌⣃⣬⣍⣩⣄⠉⠁⠀⢉⣬⣥⣴⣬⣥⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡖⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣶⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing