[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

This is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy πŸ¦ƒ Thanksgiving πŸ¦ƒ! Guess what πŸ˜―β“it’s that time ⏰ of year πŸ—“ to gobble πŸ¦ƒ gobble πŸ¦ƒ gobble πŸ¦ƒ up ⬆️ those dicks πŸ† chicks πŸ₯ and bicks 🀨 (big dicks) πŸ†πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜« I bet 😏 you’re all 😀😀😀 HORNY-copia 🌽 πŸ₯”πŸ₯•πŸŒΆπŸ†β™‹οΈπŸ‘€πŸ‘‰πŸ‘Œ for SKANKS-giving πŸ€ͺπŸ˜”πŸ€€πŸ€€πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜πŸ˜ you’ll be saying πŸ’¬ thanks πŸ™ for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³ send this to πŸ”Ÿ of your thiccest sluts with those hot πŸ₯΅ hot πŸ”₯ tasty πŸ€€πŸ˜‹ peach pies πŸ₯§ πŸ‘ 😏😏 if you know πŸ€” what I mean β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜˜πŸ˜‹ if you get 1️⃣ back πŸ™„πŸ€¬πŸ˜‘ then you and that slut 🀀🀀🀀😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together πŸ˜”πŸͺΆπŸ• if you get 3️⃣ back πŸ˜ˆπŸ€‘ you’re going to get your turkey πŸ¦ƒ eaten πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ you will be eating your cousin’s πŸ‘ΆπŸ» peach πŸ‘ pie πŸ₯§ just like you’ve always πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―wanted πŸ˜‹πŸ€€πŸ₯΅ if you get 7️⃣ back πŸ›Ά you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim πŸŽ©πŸ‘ž and be the villain πŸ¦Ήβ€β™€οΈ of American πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ history πŸ“–πŸ“•πŸ“š πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜” if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🀯😱🀯😱🀯😱🀯 you’ll be feasting 🀀😏 this thanksgiving πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ in more ways than one πŸ˜«πŸ˜πŸ‘€πŸšΌπŸ’˜ okay you sexy πŸ˜‡ sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos πŸ¦ƒπŸ¦ƒπŸ¦ƒ it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➑️ atone 🀣for the sins ✝️ πŸ˜”of my ancestorsπŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘¨πŸΌπŸ€°πŸΌπŸ€±πŸΌπŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets

twitchquotes: Pedestrian: i want to give a shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)

I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
January 2024

Palworld

Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble

twitchquotes: Prepare for trouble! And make it double! To protect the world from devastation! To unite all peoples within our nation! To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend our reach to the stars above! Jessie! James! Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! Meowth! That's right!
twitch chat
August 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Text-to-Speech Playing