I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I hope Zoe wins xD
twitchquotes:
I hope Zoe wins xD. Iām a Zoe main and sheās just so fun!! People get so trolled by the bubble, and her voice lines are so cute like when she sings about chocolate cake LOL! Sheās super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD
twitch chat
Classic
League of Legends
It was dinner time at the Overwatch GAYmer house
twitchquotes:
It was dinner time at the Overwatch GAYmer house. Moonmoon dishes up a steamy plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. Seagull looks up from his plate, the gleam in his eye. "I got the meat right here for you baby" lubing up with marinara sauce Seagull begins to pound his sausage into moonmoons tight lightly buttered dinner roll. The scream of delight, Seagull releases his load, calling an end to yet another successful team dinner
twitch chat
MOONMOON
KappaPride
Overwatch
WEEB pyramid
How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
Iād brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyād be compelled to approach. āThatās very cool,ā theyād say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyād shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. āBut as it is volcanic glass, itās very fragile, you see, and isnāt well-suited for use as a weapāā and then Iād hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.