[Copypasta] Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual

twitchquotes: Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual. In his bed lays a 6/3 Reynad in stealth. Forsen has no answer for this play. He passes his turn and prepares himself for the donger of destiny.Kappa Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some β€œdude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said β€œyou’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask β€œfor what?” He says β€œI just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled β€œYOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

This is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob Hi, this is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave. I dedicated my life to painting so that you brats could do something more productive with your lives than sitting on your *** playing your stupid Atari games all day. I don't appreciate you morons abusing my legacy and turning me into some childish meme that you can spam on your little MSM chat thing. Now go paint a mountain or something and don't you dare copypaste this. CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
October 2016
Bob Ross

Classic

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Kappa Nazi

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–“β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing