[Copypasta] Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Iron Man

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β–€β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–„β–€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
September 2021

you're so mean to chapanya

twitchquotes: you're so mean to chapanya, and it seems sometimes that it actually gets to him, like just then in COD he started being more quiet and not really responding to the team, why you suck an asshole qt.
twitch chat
December 2018
imaqtpie

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

How do I get my husband to stop going β€˜Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going β€˜Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says β€˜Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says β€˜Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in β€˜Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, β€˜Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said β€˜Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the β€˜Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo

twitchquotes: Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo. My Skills Are Getting Stronker And I Wish To Join Team "TMS". My Land Has Endured Many Harsh Winters And My Cow Died Last Fall. I Am How You Say, "Hard In A Place," And Am Looking to One Day Be Best At Heartstone For My Mother Says I Have The Heart Of The Carderinos.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing