[Copypasta] Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Dawg u a crip or a blood fool

twitchquotes: so i was walking down the road today and 2 black hoodlums approached me. They asked "dawg u a crip or a blood fool". Startled, i muttered "I'm a kripp". The power of morosan rushed through my body, i raised my donger and blew both of the hoodlums away with 100% pure orange juice from concentrate. Value.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

heart been broke

heart πŸ’” been broke πŸ“‰ so many times ⏰ i don’t know πŸ€” what to believe πŸ’― mama πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘© said πŸ—£ it’s my fault 😒 it’s my fault πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈi wear my heart ❀️ on my sleeve πŸ’ͺ i think it’s best πŸ‘πŸ» I put my heart ❀️ on ice 🧊
July 2020

Emoji Pasta

It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. β€œNo, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. β€œNo horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying β€œAye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020

Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing