You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
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Putin had a private screening of Morbius
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded βI have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.β
Morbius
Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens
twitchquotes:
Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [αΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½α] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is αΰΌΌΰΊΩΰΊΰΌ½α HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER αΰΌΌΰΊΩΰΊΰΌ½α so try playing that he may come
twitch chat
Kripp
I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and Iβm fucking retarded but I donβt care, Iβm beautiful. Iβm having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me βWindows Update 10.0.10586β and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you canβt accept me youβre a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
I will tell Michael to ban you all
twitchquotes:
Hello twitch chat. This is michaels mother speaking. Please stop the spam in the chat. I can't read the amazing conversations that you are having about my son. Thanks. Don't copy and paste this to spam more or I will tell Michael to ban you all.
twitch chat
imaqtpie