[Copypasta] You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021
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Reacting to content takes skill

twitchquotes: Reaction when done right is a true artform. The sheer effort, persistence and dedication it takes for someone to master the craft is astounding. The skill and talent of the contestants on masterchef pales in comparison to the skill and talent of the true master watching them, pausing at the precise moment to achieve the pinnacle of comedy by releasing gas audibly from his colon. It is truly exhilarating, even a little arousing, to witness a true master of reacting at work.
twitch chat
December 2021

Traumatized Mr Incredible

βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–β¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž– βž–βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž– βž–βž–β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž– βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–βž–
ascii art
February 2022

Alright, ocean mage, I guess

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper β€œAlright, ocean mage, I guess” ResidentSleeper β€œHaven’t picked moist magician in a while, let’s go wet wizard ResidentSleeper β€œhydro conjuror isn’t that good, but alright” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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