[Copypasta] You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Patrick Star - I am back

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ascii art
August 2015
Kripp

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'βˆšΟ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player

twitchquotes: SMOrc Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player. Whatever is going on in your laddering right now, please know that you go face and you only ever go face. You are skilled. SMOrc
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

I dropped my notes

twitchquotes: β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« OOOPS I dropped my notes β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™«β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™« β™ͺ β™«
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Alright, ocean mage, I guess

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper β€œAlright, ocean mage, I guess” ResidentSleeper β€œHaven’t picked moist magician in a while, let’s go wet wizard ResidentSleeper β€œhydro conjuror isn’t that good, but alright” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

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