So I met him today and asked him: "Hello, my best friend, are you racist?"
And he replied with: "Yes, I'm racist"
I was shocked. So I asked him back: "You racist?"
He said: "Yes, I'm actually racist"
To comprehend him, I asked: "Why are you racist?"
He answered with: "Because I'm racist"
I made sure: "Racism?"
He replied: "Yeah, racism"
I shout out: "Oh no"
He just: "Yeah"
And I'm just: "That's so racist"
He: "Racism"
I used to be a real ad
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My poop story
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My poop story.
I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyoneβs filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened.
That is my poop story.
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Tall Dog
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President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day
Happy PresiDICKβS πππ½ DAYβΌοΈ Time β°β° to honor the DADDIES π¬π¬ of our nation πΊπΈπΊπΈ George SLUTsington π―π―, Benjamin SPANKlinππ, John HanCOCK ππ½π¦π¦π¦ These POUNDING π¨β fathers ERECTED β¬οΈβ¬οΈ their π»πCUNTstitutional dongs ππfor LADY LIBERTY π½π
π Raise that ASS π to π¦π¦ Abraham LinCUM π¦π¦, π² WOODrow Wilson ππ²π, Bill CLIT-on ππ, and the CUMmander in chief, π¦ππBarCOCK Obama π¦ππ Donβt forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE ππ© DICKlared war π«π£ on those CUMMIES π¦ππ Share in βοΈ SUCKonds or you wonβt be pounding π¨that presidential PUSSY ππ Get 5οΈβ£ back and ur a White House HOE π Get π back and ur the SUCKretary of state πππΊπΈ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan π©π©π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENTβS DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πππ
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THINKING
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Every day rushing through my head, like a river that only runs red, Every night when I lay in my bed, I remember every word that you said, I try to stop myself from thinking, And yet I find myself sinking, Deeper and deeper, your lies blinking in my mind, Crushing the only inkling of hope I never knew I could find, On and on these horrible thoughts I can't stop myself, Pulled out of my head like some kind of deranged shelf, I just had anal sex with a gay elf
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KappaPride
BAN ONE FLEX
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πͺ π BAN πͺ π ONE πͺ π FLEX πͺ π GET πͺ π THE πͺ π WHOLE πͺ π GYM
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