[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Yearly dongers supply

twitchquotes: ヽ ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Did you know: Most dongers—78 percent of the yearly dongers supply—is made into fedoras. Other industries, mostly electronics, medical, and dental, require about 12 percent. The remaining 10 percent of the yearly dongers supply is used in financial transactions. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
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December 2014
imaqtpie

PepegaPls

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠤⣄⠛⠉⢙⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢉⣩⣭⣉⡶⡏⣠⣴⡖⠦⣝⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠐⢾⣿⣿⠋⠙⢿⣆⣿⣿⡇⠠⠌⣧⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢸⣿⡏⠀⠇⣼⡿⠸⠿⠿⠶⠒⣋⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠹⡏⠀⠀⢀⣊⣉⠀⠀⠀⢰⣀⠘⢄⡙⠛⢖⣛⡋⠐⠳⢬⡭⠽⠛⠉⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⣿⢭⡙⢷⣄⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⡀⢠⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⡛⣓⡩⠽⣛⡶⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣄⣐⣖⡉⡅⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢶⣭⣗⣂⠍⠛⠛⠛⢛⣫⣤⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠀⠀⡉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠁⢰⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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Pepe

How will this affect Rick James?

twitchquotes: Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and my brother was taking a shit. I don't know why he didn't lock the door, but before I could leave he asked me to grab him a roll of toilet paper. As I was handing it to him he jumped up and smacked a hand full of shit across my face...How will this affect Rick James?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020

Discord user cracks after seeing the word “sus”

oh my god among us isnt FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE ITS BEEN MONTHS MONTHS IM SICK OF THIS SHIT JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE PEOPLE OH MY GOD EVERYTHING ABOUT AMONG US IS UNCOOL LITERALLY EVERYTHING IT SCREAMS “IM A VIRGIN” AND GODDAMNIT THAT WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS SHITB ITS NOT FUNNY ITS A DUDE ON METH WHY DO PEOPLE LAUGH AT THIS LIKE WHAT THE HELL BRO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HOLY SHIT HUMANITY IS FUCKed THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE ALL TIME LOW OH MY FYCKING LOOORDDD DUDE @everyone STOP MAKING AMONG US JOKES ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY holy shit fuck anybody who finds among us funny im done with this shit
July 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing