I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
This is Papa Donger
twitchquotes:
༼ᴥل͟ᴥ ༽ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴩᴀᴩᴀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟᴇ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛ 5 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs, ᴛʜᴇʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ʜɪs ᴇʏᴇs ᴀFᴛᴇʀ ᴅʏɪɴɢ. ʜᴇ ｉｓ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪF ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴄᴏᴩʏᴩᴀsᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪs 5 ᴛɪᴍᴇs ʜᴇ ｗｉｌｌ sᴛᴇᴀʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴀɢ ᴏF ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ. ༼ᴥل͟ᴥ ༽
twitch chat
Kripp
Please abide by the Reddit amendments
Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments:
• Big Chungus is funny
• Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ
• Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes)
• Fortnite is gay (gay = bad)
• Females are dumb while men are cool
• Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company)
• Minecraft is the best game ever made
• No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted)))
• Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong
• Reddit is the best social media
Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
Among Us crewmate
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Among Us / Amogus
Classic
A Reddit comment summarized and compressed
Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox.
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
Come Down Kid (in Farsi)
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