[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I'm from NA, my job is streaming

twitchquotes: 4Head I'm from NA 4Head My job is streaming 4Head Getting out of groups? 4Head You must be dreaming! 4Head
twitch chat
September 2018

EU vs NA

Penis

May 2021

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

No longer afford drugs after playing Star Wars Force Arena

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): My dad has been struggling with drug addiction for the last 20 years. After I showed him this game, he can no longer afford drugs! Thank you Star Warsβ„’: Force Arena! SeemsGood
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

sellout

Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat: ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€~ Kappa ~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing