I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Imaqtpie was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church
twitchquotes:
qtpie i know things are hard now with being excommunicated from the roman catholic church and all but listen to me. You're going to be okay and make it through this friend. good luck and god.... nvm just bless you...
twitch chat
imaqtpie
I hate the French language
I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations.
I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
This Disney DVD is enhanced with Disney's FastPlay
twitchquotes:
๐๐๐๐จ ๐ฟ๐๐จ๐ฃ๐๐ฎ ๐ฟ๐๐ฟ ๐๐จ ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ฟ๐๐จ๐ฃ๐๐ฎโ๐จ ๐๐๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ก๐๐ฎ. ๐๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ข๐ค๐ซ๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐ค๐ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ช๐จ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐ช๐ฉ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ. ๐๐ค ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐๐จ๐จ ๐๐๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐ก๐๐ฎ, ๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ช ๐๐ช๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐ฉ ๐๐ฃ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐. ๐๐๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐ก๐๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐ฃ ๐ ๐ข๐ค๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ฉโฆ
twitch chat
ResidentSleeper I'm so fucking strong right now
twitchquotes:
I'm so fucking strong right now I really want to fight this Wait that actually killed me? Holy shit I played that so bad
I'm so fucking strong right now I really want to fight this Wait that actually killed me? Holy shit I played that so bad
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!
Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! ๐