[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Inflatable seahorse

twitchquotes: This deck is gayer than a malaysian transvestite f*cking a man on an inflatable seahorse
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Malta vs Penguins

This does not change the fact that in Antarctica there are 21 million penguins and in Malta there are 502,653 inhabitants. So if the penguins decide to invade Malta, each Maltese will have to fight 42 penguins.
May 2021

Classic

Yet Another Among Us Crewmate

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
December 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Lapras

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ
April 2017

Pokemon

This guy's such a bad player!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ "This guy's such a bad player!” β˜‘ β€œYou seen my deck guys, there was nothing I could've done” β˜‘ "How am I losing against these NOOBS" β˜‘ β€œThis is hearthstone guys” β˜‘ "I lost" β˜‘ β€œHe played like trash and got lucky” β˜‘ β€œFUCKIN' EH” β˜‘
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Text-to-Speech Playing