[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
Formatted in markdown for Reddit comments
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Obama

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ– โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2021

Ben Brode and Firelands Portal

twitchquotes: Ben Brode here! We are happy to announce we have finally solved an issue that has plagued Hearthstone since beta. Despite our best efforts with cards like Flamecannon and Ethereal Conjurer, Mage was still able to lose games in Arena. With the Old Gods we introduced Faceless Summoner, and yet mage's average arena winrate was still only 75%. With the introduction of Firelands Portal, we hope to finally make Mage a viable arena class. 4Head
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey Doublelift! It's me Greg from high school

twitchquotes: Hey Doublelift! It's me Greg from high school. How's it going man? Remember that one time you jacked off Mr. Stevens to get an A in gym? Haha classic Yiliang you always did the craziest things. Nice talking to you my man.
twitch chat
February 2017
Doublelift

Tanner from High School

I'm already Tracer

twitchquotes: โ“ Maybe Iโ€™ll be Tracer ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ โ— Iโ€™m already Tracer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ โ” What about Widowmaker ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ โ• Iโ€™m already Widowmaker ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฏIโ€™ll be Bastion ๐Ÿค– ๐Ÿšซ Nอ˜อžEอžอ Rฬทอ˜FอŸ อžอ BASอžฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอŸา‰า‰ โšฐ๏ธ ๐Ÿคท Youโ€™re right; so, Winston ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ ๐ŸŒ I wanna be Winston ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ I guess Iโ€™ll be Genji ๐Ÿฑโ€๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ˜ Iโ€™m already Genji ๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ’€ Then Iโ€™ll be McCree ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ซ I already chose McCree ๐Ÿ•›โ˜ ๏ธ โœ‹ I have an idea ๐Ÿ™‹ โ“ Whatโ€™s your idea? ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ™Œ You should beโ€” ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿฆถ ๐Ÿ™… Iโ€™m not gonna be Mercy โ€ผ๏ธโœจ
twitch chat
November 2018

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

Marlboro

(ฬ…_ฬ…_ฬ…_ฬ…_ฬ…ะผฬฒฬ…aฬฒฬ…ัฬฒฬ…lฬฒฬ…bฬฒฬ…oฬฒฬ…rฬฒฬ…oฬฒฬ…ฬ…_ฬ…_ฬ…_( ๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž๏ฑž:
ascii art
May 2014
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing