[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘€ "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜‚ His joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🀬 What's that? His joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.🀭 In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment 😏. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" 😬😲. WOW! πŸ€ͺ Another reference I had to explain to you. πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈπŸ€­ I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.πŸ˜πŸ˜‚
October 2021

Joseph Kony's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am famous child soldier militia commander Joseph Kony. I want to help you make your own child soldier militia too so we can fight the white man as one. I hope you make the right decision and remember, dongerino dongerino please no copi pasterino banerino Al Pacino cappuccino orange moccha frappuccino steal your kiderino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚OMG πŸ˜‚ you’re so FUNNY 🀣 🀣 so quirky πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ πŸ€ͺ so different 🀩absolute crackhead energy πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ comedic genius🧠 πŸ˜‚ I literally can’t ❌ breathe 😭 i’m crying dude 😭😭 that was so hilarious πŸ˜† u really got the whole squad laughing πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘¦β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦ high IQ comedy 🧠🧠 how’d you come up with that πŸ§πŸ˜‚ really original work πŸ˜‚ never seen πŸ™ˆ or heard πŸ™‰ anything like that before πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ great πŸ‘ job πŸ‘πŸ‘ keep up the funnies πŸ‘‘πŸ€£πŸ‘‘ i love you πŸ’• 😘 you’re my inspiration 🀩🀩🀩 if only i were as funny πŸ˜„ or smart πŸ€“ or cool 😎 as you πŸ˜” but its whatever I’ll continue to watch πŸ‘πŸ‘„πŸ‘ your content πŸŽ₯🀳 because it ❌NEVER EVER❌ fails to make me laugh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ thank you πŸ™ for existing πŸ˜‡ and doing what you do ❀️❀️
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

i cannot support a stoner kripp

twitchquotes: wow. i cannot support a stoner kripp. i have given thousands of my hard earned money to you but i cannot sit idly by and let you use your platform to promote the devil's lettuce.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Blizzard has been working hard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: This chat is so ungrateful. Blizzard has been working so hard crunching hours to develop a new Diablo game for their long-term fans, giving it an extra Blizzard polish and publishing it on the world's most popular gaming console, Mobile, to enable many of their fans to be able to play. Yet these same "fans" demand a "better" game. How can a game be "better", when a game is a game? smh beta nerds these days.
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing