[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
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More Copypastas

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Grey face man

twitchquotes: แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ sแด›แดแด˜ แดœsษชษดษข แด›สœแด‡ ษขส€แด‡ส า“แด€แด„แด‡ แดแด€ษด. แดส ษขส€แด€ษดแด…แดแดแด›สœแด‡ส€ ษชษด แด…แด€ส€แด‹ ษขส€แด‡แด‡ษดสŸแด€ษดแด… แดกแด€s แดกแด€แด›แด„สœษชษดษข แด›สœแด‡ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แด แด€ษดแด… แดกสœแด‡ษด sสœแด‡ sแด€แดก sแด แดแด€ษดส sแด„แด€ส€ส า“แด€แด„แด‡s ษชษด แด„สœแด€แด› sสœแด‡ สœแด€แด… แด€ สœแด‡แด€ส€แด› แด€แด›แด›แด€แด„แด‹ แด€ษดแด… สœแด€แด… แด›แด ษขแด แด›แด แด›สœแด‡ สœแดsแด˜ษชแด›แด€สŸ. sแด แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡, า“แดส€ แด›สœแด‡ sแด€แด‹แด‡ แดา“ แดสŸแด… แด˜แด‡แดแด˜สŸแด‡, ษดแด แดแดส€แด‡ ษขส€แด‡ส า“แด€แด„แด‡.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Memeing harder than anyone I've ever seen on this website

twitchquotes: wow dude you just memed harder than anyone i've ever seen on this website. How many memes did you acquire before graduating from Memeing University? Do you meme over 9000 times a day, because the fact that you are such an expert memer points in that direction. God damn I have never seen a meme as epic and dank as this in my entire life, and i am quite the meme master myself, creating over 500 popular memes on the mememunity s4s and danking and memeing for the last five years (though you obviously experience time in meme years at this point, which makes me meme my meme to you sir, i mean meme) I really wish i could meme as hard as you because than my meme would meme and then memes would be dank as a meme! rite, amirite? lol and lel and kek but really sir, thank you for being dank as *** and posting such sweet meme as this, it made me meme until my meme went memeside out and meme'd me harder than a meme memeing meme you fuggin meme :D
twitch chat
November 2014
TheRace

AMONGUS AMONGUS AMONGUS

โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿ‘ฆ SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’ž AMONG ๐Ÿ’ฐ US ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐Ÿ˜ฑ! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ AMONG ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ US ๐Ÿ‘จ IS THE BEST ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ฏ FUCKING ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ GAME ๐ŸŽฎ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ RED ๐Ÿ”ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ COME ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐Ÿ‘€ ME SCAN ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ WHY ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿค” IS NO โš ๐Ÿšซ ONE 1๏ธโƒฃ FIXING ๐Ÿ‘พ O2 ๐Ÿ…พ ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก OH ๐Ÿ™€ YOUR ๐Ÿ‘‰ CREWMATE? NAME ๐Ÿ“› EVERY ๐Ÿ’ฏ TASK ๐Ÿ“‹ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜  Where Any sus!โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! Any sus!โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Where!โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Any susโ“ โ“ Any sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ Any sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ think ๐Ÿค” it was purple!๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€It wasnt me I ๐Ÿ‘ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Emoji Pasta

Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority

twitchquotes: Dear ๐Ÿ‘‹ Twitch Partners ๐Ÿค , Our ๐Ÿ‘‰ community members ๐Ÿ‘ช are always โ˜‘๏ธ our priority ๐Ÿ›‘. We received ๐Ÿ“ฅ some reports โ— describing โŒจ๏ธ the discomfort โ˜น๏ธ some of our members ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ felt after a Twitch Rivals ๐Ÿคผ participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," ๐Ÿ˜ถ both emotes are often โฒ๏ธ used in toxic ๐Ÿ’€ contexts. Please ๐Ÿ™ refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead ๐Ÿ‘. Best regards ๐Ÿ‘‹, Twitch Team ๐Ÿ’Œ
twitch chat
November 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing