[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Excited Homer Simpson

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠏⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣴⢶⣶⣿⣟⣶⣿⣭⠿⠦⠤⠽⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣿⢋⣠⣿⣿⡶⢻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⠈⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢯⠋⠈⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠒⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⣱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢀⡴⠋⠉⢹⡶⠶⢤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⢻⡜⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠶⠒⠒⠀⠐⣄⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⠟⠛⠓⠶⣏⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠷⠙⠲⠄⠀⡀⠠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡇⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠞⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠖⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠈⠙⠦⣀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠈⢢⡀⠠⢾⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢲⡶⡄⠀⢀⡶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀ ⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡴⠀⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡷⢰⠃⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⠙⢦⡀⠀⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣠⠎⢀⣤⣾⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⣠⣴⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡰⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠳⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⡖⠋⢀⡤⠾⠿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠇⠙⢿⠷⠖⠒⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠯⡉⠉⠀⠀⡷⠶⠯⡁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠙⢆⠀⠀⡧⠂⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠈⠣⡴⠉⠡⡀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⢀⡴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣶⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣷⣄⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣎⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⡤⠴⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

XD

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⡉⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠉⣩⡇⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⢀⣰⣶⣄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad?

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad. The storm that will end your fucking life. It's fucking ogre, Donkey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare asscheeks. Not only am I shrextensively trained in onionade combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Fairy Godmothers Factory and I will use it to its full shrextent to wipe your miserable little ass of of the face of meh swamp, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Rumpelstiltskin. I will slay abuse all ogre you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Pinocchio.
August 2021

Shrek

Navy Seal

I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime

twitchquotes: I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime. Like, they didn't choose to be born with an IQ of 20 in a home with unloving parents. Imagine all the bullying they must experience at home, at school, and at the special services daycare. Let's stop bullying them, guys. They may be too retarded to understand that's what we're doing, but that doesn't mean we should pick on them. Thank you
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

Why not just play melee?

twitchquotes: I find it so weird that the smash4 crowd is so hype that ultimate "moves more like melee" Like if youre so torqued about melee movement why not just.. play melee? The game is already out, doesn't require a 300$ console, is likely a better game, and doesn't have an expiration date
twitch chat
December 2018

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing