[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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mizkifHalt

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⣿⢀⡀⢰⣦⢀⣠⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣶⡄ ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⠭⠶⢦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⢱⣬⡙⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⠃ ⣀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣬⣝⣛⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⡒⠢⠭⠤⢹⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣦⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣓⣘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Mizkif

NA at worlds

twitchquotes: 4Head No matter how many imports I choose 4Head I still continue to lose 4Head and then I make an excuse 4Head you guessed it right I'm from NA 4Head my screen is always grey 4Head when at worlds I play 4Head
twitch chat
October 2018

League of Legends

EU vs NA

True dank meme EleGiggle

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, Captain EleGiggle here. Please enlist to help fight of the Asian Invasion of MingLee. Copy and paste this to show your support of the true dank meme EleGiggle
twitch chat
October 2015
Reynad

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Why are Chess Players so Racist?

Every time I here a chess player talk about race, they always say stuff like “I’m so glad that I am white this game” or “He was black, so he didn’t stand much of a chance that game”. Seriously, what is up with this blatant racism guys??? It’s getting so bad I am even hearing this sort of shit from some Indian players as well. Your color doesn’t mean anything, you are still the same person!!!!!!
August 2021

Chess

Text-to-Speech Playing