[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
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Female Amogus Crewmate

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May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you?

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........
January 2022

Politics

If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019

forsenCD

⠉⡛⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣸⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠉⢉⣴⠏⠉⢁⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⣸ ⣯⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⡤⠿⢉⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠄⢠⡄⣸ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡀⡀⡀⠠⢀⣾⢟⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣷⣽⣴⣋⣥⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠒⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⣀⢀⣤⣤⣌⣁⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2019
Forsen

Emote

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