I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Cybrix virus strikes with thin crust of pizza
twitchquotes:
Hello my name is Pepperino Connors this will be my 127th day since the CYBRIX virus striked the Capitols of every importante cities of the World with thin crust of pizza. If someone would have warned us about this madness we could have saved the 0.000000001% of the population. Pls copy this madnerinos to warn them of the imninent threat
twitch chat
Kripp
Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
“You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
“Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
“You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.”
“How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
“You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.”
“Will I not die?”
“You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist”
…
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.
Infinite Cum
Fulfill my dreams of being an industrial vacuum
twitchquotes:
Hello Reynad, big fan here trying to fulfill my dreams of being an industrial vacuum for constipated hospital patients, any tips on sucking ass?
twitch chat
Reynad
I'm just a memer
☂ just a memer ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽHalf Life logo
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⢻⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀
⠀⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡇⠀
⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀
⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⠀
⠀⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀
⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⡆⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠇⠀
⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠀⣰⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀