[Copypasta] Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Octavian Morosan

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–“β–’ β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’
March 2015
Kripp

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, β€œWhy, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was β€œHuh?” but he kept cutting me off and going β€œhuh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

This guy's veganism is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ This guy's veganism is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy vegetables can't win against fruits like that” β˜‘ "He needed PRECISELY those two cucumbers to win" β˜‘ β€œHe bought the only tomato that could beat me” β˜‘ "He had the perfect eggplants β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I could cook” β˜‘ β€œI ate that perfectly”
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Kripp and G2A

twitchquotes: "I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Jeff from History class last semester

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Jeff from History class from last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of famous celebrity hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Brian? He was a T H I C C boy. xD You are such a dog. It's cool to see you again. Hit me up sometime!
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing