I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Addicted to copy pasta
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp. You got me addicted to copy pasta you sick ***. I was 19 and on my way to my dream job when you first gave me a hit of this junk. Now I'm cappucino dongeringos in back-alleys just for another copy pasta. I'm chasing that first high and I'm scared I'll rip in pepperinos soon if I don't find help. Pls no crop a dingo pace the rhino my story.
twitch chat
Kripp
Mitch and Reynad
twitchquotes:
Mitch release Reynad from their passionate embrace to catch his breath. He holds Reynad's gaze intently, "Reynad, this is just like the arcane dream all over again". Reynad smiles and whispers, "Mitch let me show you what a real Tempo Storm is all about" and unzips his pants. 
twitch chat
Riot Games
KappaPride
Teaching him how to throw so well
twitchquotes:
Hey xQc my son is a huge fan of yours. Anyway over the past few days of watching you play this game hes got much better at playing baseball (he plays in the 11-13 year old division). I just wanted to stop by and thank you for teaching him how to throw so well.
twitch chat
xQcOW
Overwatch
Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole?
OJ warriors
twitchquotes:
Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏғ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴇᴘᴇʀᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs. Kʀɪᴘᴘ ɪs ᴛᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏᴜʀ ғᴀɪᴛʜ ʙʏ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴅ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ᴀs ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇsᴜʟᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴜɴʜᴏʟʏ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ. Iᴛ ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ ᴀs OJ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴘᴜᴄɪɴᴏ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ
twitch chat
Kripp