I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
I used to be a real ad
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With this dust of a Dorito chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp!
twitchquotes:
(つ•̀ᴥ•́)つ*:･ﾟ✧ With this dust of a Dorito™ chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp! (つ•̀ᴥ•́)つ*:･ﾟ✧
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Kripp
Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word
I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year.
It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions.
The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me.
So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
Hypers
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠙⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡟⠁⠀⢠⣶⡷⠶⠚⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠻⡃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿
⣿⠁⠀⠠⠟⠉⠀⣀⠤⠤⠤⢤⣉⠉⢀⣠⠤⠒⢒⠶⠚⠓⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠈⣿
⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠋⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠌⣀⣀⡀⠄⠊⠁⣠⠄⡀⠈⠻⣶⣄⢻⠀⠀⢸
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⢁⣤⢠⡄⢨⠹⣿⣷⡄⣾⣿⠀⠄⠘⠂⣿⣿⢣⠀⠀⢸
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⢴⣿⣿⠀⠂⠈⠀⠸⠟⠘⠻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠈⡰⡿⠀⠀⢸
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣉⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⡿⢧⡇⠀⣾
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣯⣙⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣋⣭⣥⡖⡿⠁⠀⢠⣿
⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿
⣿⡀⠀⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡶⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡏⣾⣦⣄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿
⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣼⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⣭⣭⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
Pepe
📞 4Head HEY DALLAS
twitchquotes:
📞 
HEY DALLAS 📞 JUST HIT BRONZE 📞 CAN I JOIN?
HEY DALLAS 📞 JUST HIT BRONZE 📞 CAN I JOIN?
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OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
To a horse, the world is basically Candyland
Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.