[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
What happened to this ad? :(
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Mutant Seagull

April 2017

i play fortnite everyday, all day

twitchquotes: i play fortnite everyday, all day. without it, i wouldn’t be who i am today. fortnite is by far the best game ever in existence. if you don’t play it, then your obviously some broke, stupid piece of shit who doesn’t have a life. i am level 100 and have bought all the skins available at the moment. stop making fun of fortnite you assholes. i bet that you don’t even have a good skin or pickaxe you sad little cunt. you need to step your game the fuck up or else ill block you on every social media app my parents will allow me to have.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Policeman that tries to give me freedom and liberty

twitchquotes: (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง) I AM AMERIFAG. I have a 9000% chance to get SHOT BY A POLICEMAN THAT TRIES TO GIVE ME FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the EUROPE (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง)
twitch chat
December 2014

EU vs NA

I'm better than professional valorant players

Wait, these are PROFESSIONAL valorant players? I'm better than all of them and I'm in bronze. I purposely empty my vandal clip down to 1 bullet because I kill all my opponents with 1 tap ease. Tenz looks like he could use some lessons from me directly. I'm bronze by the way.
August 2021

Valorant

Johnny Test

⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡸⠱⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣴⠖⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⡆⢀⢀⢠⠃⢀⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⢁⡇⢀⢠⠏⢀⢀⢹ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⣼⠁⣠⠏⢀⢀⢀⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣾⡿⠋⢀⣼⡿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⢀⢰⢏⡼⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇ ⢀⢀⣾⢀⢀⢀⣼⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⣿⠃⣀⣠⣶⠿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠃⢀⣀⣠⠤⠖⠚⠋⢉⡭⠋ ⢀⣼⣿⢀⣠⣿⠟⠁⢀⢀⢀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠮⠒⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠔⠁ ⢀⡇⢻⣰⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁ ⢸⠃⠈⠟⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠋ ⢸⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⠋ ⢸⡄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠁ ⢀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⢠⡞ ⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣉⡉⢉⡟ ⢀⠘⣄⣀⣀⣤⣤⢀⡇⠰⠶⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⢀⢀⢀⣼⠿⠟⠛⠿⡿ ⢀⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⡠⠊⠁⣀⣀⠈⠑⣄⢀⢀⢀⣰⡡⠤⠠⢄⣰⠃ ⢀⢀⠈⢏⣉⣀⣀⣸⡇⢀⠸⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⢀⠘⡄⢀⢠⠏⢠⣤⣤⢀⠹ ⢀⡰⠊⠉⠑⡄⢀⢸⠇⢀⢃⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⢀⠃⢀⣾⢀⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⠇ ⢀⠃⠈⠉⢣⠘⠤⠼⢀⢀⠈⢄⢀⠈⠉⠁⢀⣠⠎⢀⡘⠸⡀⠙⠛⠁⢀⢼⡄ ⢀⡀⢀⠐⠎⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠁⠐⠒⠒⠈⢀⢀⢀⠧⠤⢬⠒⢀⠂⠁⢀⢳ ⢀⠁⠐⠒⠂⠉⠁⠢⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣉⡠⠤⠂⢀⡴⠃ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠙⢲⣤⣀⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢀⣀⣤⠞⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣦⣬⣇⠈⠉⢿⡒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⠛⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠸⣿⣷⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠚⢻⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣹⣟⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡘⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣦⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡝⠉⠉⠉⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣇⢠⢠⢀⣾⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢸⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠘⣾⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⣹⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⢓⣤⣀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⠤⠤⠽⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢒⣒⣂⣀⣉⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢸⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⡉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠒⠊ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠇⢀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⢀⠠⡇
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing