[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
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More Copypastas

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan ๐Ÿ˜‰) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต , heart surgeon โค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธ . Number one ๐Ÿ˜ญโ˜๏ธ . Steady hand๐Ÿ˜ณโœ‹๏ธ. One day, Yakuza boss ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿปneed ๐Ÿ†• heart๐Ÿ’˜. I do operation๐Ÿ”ชโš”๏ธ. But, mistake๐Ÿ˜ฑ! Yakuza boss die๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ช! Yakuza very mad๐Ÿ‘ฟ. I hide๐Ÿ™ˆ in fishing boat๐ŸŸ๐Ÿšฃ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ, come to America๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ. No english๐Ÿค, no food๐Ÿ˜ฉ, no money๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’ฒ. Darryl ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟgive me job๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ผ. Now I have house๐Ÿก, American car ๐Ÿš— , and new woman ๐Ÿ†•๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. Darryl ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟsave lifeโ›‘. My big secret๐Ÿ™Š: I kill โ˜ ๏ธyakuza boss on purpose๐Ÿ˜ˆ. I good ๐Ÿ‘surgeon. The best๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ฏ!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

is thatโ€ฆ a GIRL?!!!?

is thatโ€ฆ a GIRL?!!!? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh girls? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like, here? *starts sweating* uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *starts drooling* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *wide eyed* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts farting* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts shitting with bloodshot eyes* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *poopie leaking out of my shorts* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts convulsing which makes the shit run down my shaved legs even faster* UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH *gets a boner* UUUHHH-UHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUHHHH-UHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH *passes out*
May 2022

Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux

Now, letโ€™s say ๐Ÿ—ฃ hypothetically, you ๐Ÿ‘†, my mother ๐Ÿ‘ช. Were to give ๐ŸŽ me, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ son ๐Ÿ™Žโ€โ™‚๏ธ, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ credit ๐Ÿ’ธ card ๐Ÿ’ณ information ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ. So I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ could make ๐Ÿ›  a purchase ๐Ÿ’ฒ of 500 ๐Ÿ’ฏ robux ๐Ÿ‘ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ will have you ๐Ÿ‘† believe ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿป, I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ have done โœ… a very โ€ผ good ๐Ÿ‘Œ job ๐Ÿ™†โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคต of doing my chores ๐Ÿงผ, including ๐Ÿ“ฒ, but ๐Ÿ‘ not limited ๐Ÿ”’ to; The dishes ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ, the laundry and the taking ๐Ÿ‘Š out the trash โ›น๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ—‘.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

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