[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

On the backs of the oppressed, I ascend the plebian ladder

twitchquotes: ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ On the backs of the oppressed, i ascend the plebian ladder. ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७
twitch chat
July 2015
Forsen

plebs vs subs

B emoji

⠀⣠⡶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢶⣄⠀ ⣼⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⡄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠁⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣦⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠋⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀
ascii art
May 2019

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

not an asexual thing

twitchquotes: ‘not an asexual thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering sex everywhere i go. wherever i look, parents with children, people sucking each others’ faces. it makes me and millions of other aces out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Classic

Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school. Its so cool to see you streaming on Twitch. Me and Dustin really miss you. The cheerleading team is nothing without you. And remember that kiss you and I shared in the back of the bus? Those were some good times. We should definitely hook up again XOXO
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing