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990 copypastas found.

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

it will look like a copy pasta

twitchquotes: i bet if i just type out a paragraph plat chat will copy pasta it. literally there is nothing funny or interesting about this text but it is pretty long so it will look like a copy pasta.
twitch chat
March 2018

you're so mean to chapanya

twitchquotes: you're so mean to chapanya, and it seems sometimes that it actually gets to him, like just then in COD he started being more quiet and not really responding to the team, why you suck an asshole qt.
twitch chat
December 2018
imaqtpie

She needs a man that can treat her right

twitchquotes: What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
December 2020

Simps

Copypasta jokes are not funny

twitchquotes: Copypasta jokes are not funny. It’s annoying and incredibly irritating to me when I say something in chat because I would enjoy actual responses and I instead get my own words thrown back at me. Please don't just copy my messages and be original! Thank you!
twitch chat
September 2019

Hey reckful’s brain, reckful’s chat here

twitchquotes: Hey reckful’s brain, reckful’s chat here. The way you make reckful sad all the time is not very cash money of you. I don’t think it’s very considerate of you to make reckful feel this way. He already has a hard time with being bipolar, why are you so mean to reckful? I try to make him happy but you do not make it easy. Reckful is a good guy and doesn’t need you in his head all the time making things harder. Fix your chemical imbalance brain, it will make everyone feel better.
twitch chat
August 2019
Reckful

if u finish reading this monkaW

twitchquotes: Hey Byron, I noticed you like to run comps around Aurelion Sol and I went ahead and did the math on a level 3 Aurelion Sol with Spear of Shojin and Zeke's buff and it turns out that if you finish reading this everyone in chat will be dead in the next 5 minutes monkaW
twitch chat
July 2019
Reckful

Teamfight Tactics

Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son

twitchquotes: Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Forsen's chat probably has the most incels

Been observing a variety of chats on twitch and its interesting observing their differences. I'd say Forsens chat probably has the most incels. The typical insecure probably small pp 8chan slithering alt right incels who look for any excuse to spam "cmonbruh" or "Pokket". Don't get me wrong there are times to spam those emotes but sometimes they go overboard. That being said I'm not calling Forsen or the majority of his chat incels but he probably has the most per capita.
January 2022
Forsen

You do not deserve to have Raymond

twitchquotes: Hello! I have been following your tweets for the past two days, and have come to the conclusion you do not deserve to have Raymond on your island. He is my comfort character and seeing him in an environment not meant for him brings me anxiety, so I will be expecting a reply to this DM when you have him in boxes and ready to relinquish him to someone who will treasure him like he deserves.
twitch chat
June 2020

Champion M&M

twitchquotes: Sometimes, whenever i eat M&Ms, i like to hold two m&ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as i can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one and the one that didn't crack becomes champion, then i grab another m&m and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until i run out of m&ms, and when there is one left standing i send a letter to m&ms brand with the champion in it and a note attached that reads "please use this m&m for breeding purposes"
twitch chat
August 2014

BAIR, FAIR, Up AIR, DAIR

twitchquotes: BAIR, FAIR, Up AIR, DAIR. Long ago, the four aerials lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when MKLeo picked Ike and spammed NAIR. Only the Tweek, master of all four aerials, could stop him, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

K3soju dating FIRST or EIF

twitchquotes: K3soju met that cute girl. They talked a lot, she seemed perfect. Caring, funny and also unbelievably pretty. He felt that she is the one for him. Once, during their long night conversation, he asked her how many boyfriends she had before him. She said - only one. Michael got furious. "There's no way. I'm not playing for second! I'm FIRST or EIF" Then he muted her and never met her again.
twitch chat
January 2022
k3soju

Imagine using a mid tier character

twitchquotes: Imagine using a mid tier character that needs tons of practice and dedication as you need to memorize every gimp and gimmick and you lose to some smash 4 downsmash down B up B shit
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Why Attack on Titan is a flawed anime

As a big fan of AoT, one big plothole that has always bugged me from the first episode is the exclusion of genitals. As titans are very clearly based on humans, and canonically are created from humans, why did Isayama decide to exclude Titan genitals? I am not a homo, (I have 2 girl friends) but seeing Eren transform into a titan with a 12 foot long cock as the people of Marley watch in horror would easily made this anime my favourite of all time. I think we should cancel Isayama on Twitter and get him to realise his mistake and redraw his previous chapters accurately.
January 2021

F to pay McRespects

Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
January 2021

Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia

Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia. Enter hut that isn’t belonging to. Find peasant couple. Tie to stool. After tie peasant woman, he climb top, kiss neck. Go to shithole. While criminal in shithole, peasant man say, This man escape gulag. Is probably capitalist. Is lusting of woman like other capitalist. I saw he kiss neck of the you. If he is desirous of scandalous act, resist not. Be surrender like fascists in Stalingrad. Is probably danger. If is angry, murder all. Have strength, be product. Is love! Peasant woman respond, he not is kissing neck. Is whispering in ear. He say is liking to stick schalinski in holes of men. Think you look good. Ask if we are having any lard. I told, is in shithole. Have strength, bee product. Is love too! Criminal never return. Starved at shithole due to lack of potato. Fifteen years is long time to be without potato. Peasant couple couldn’t build communism due to being tied to stool. People’s Army Patrol rescue them. Is great happiness! Then sent to gulag due to failure to build communism. Carcass of criminal also sent back to gulag, made to work. Is no mercy for traitors of the motherland.
April 2022

Response to "who gives a shit"

Well you see, if you didn't care you wouldn't have said "Literally no one gives a shit" in the first place. If you truly did not care, you would of completely ignored the conversation from the very start. The fact that you said that just shows the childishness inside of you. All that saying "no one gives a shit" does is make you out to be an entitled, lower person who craves attention by trying to seem cool. Even if you do not care about this statement, the mere fact that you are saying "no one gives a shit" says a lot about you. And shows that you are in fact an unlikable individual. Regardless of if you care of not, these are goddamn facts, and facts do not care about your little peabrained fucking pissbaby feelings. No amount of not caring will change your unlikableness. Nobody will forget this moment and it'll be embedded into our minds for months, even years. Grow up a little before even thinking about responding to another innocent person with "No one gives a shit".
April 2022

Riding the chat elevator

twitchquotes: ( ͡↑ ͜ʖ ͡↑) Riding the chat elevator all the way to Kripp ( ͡↑ ͜ʖ ͡↑)
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing