I used to be a real ad
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Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022

SPAM THIS BANANA TO HELP MICHAEL SANTANA

twitchquotes: SPAM 🍌 THIS 🍌 BANANA 🍌 TO 🍌 HELP 🍌 MICHAEL 🍌 SANTANA
twitch chat
November 2018
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Forsen was drinking on the job

twitchquotes: Forskin used to work at the sperm bank but was fired for drinking on the job
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019

MagicAmy used VANISH

twitchquotes: MagicAmy PREP'd the scam, CONCEALED his identity, BETRAYED Reynad, SPRINTED with the money and used VANISH.
twitch chat
February 2015
Reynad
I used to be a real ad

Another response to "who asked?"

I am so tired of you always saying who asked. What if no one asked? Can I not speak up and say something when no one has asked? If everyone did this then no one would ever speak. I think I'm allowed to say what I want. Even if no one asked.
November 2021

Who Asked?

When Kripp plays Reno warrior...

twitchquotes: Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Positive "Give me a second guys" copypasta

twitchquotes: “Give me a second, guys,” Kripp says. “Gotta hit up the bathroom” He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately springs up from his chair and shouts "I LOVE THIS GAME!" before giving Dex a swift pat on the head. As Dex yips loudly in delight, Kripp runs over to give Rania a kiss on the cheek. Rania then tries to take out the trash, but Kripp swiftly grabs the bag from her and does it for her. Elated, Kripp wipes the sweat off his forehead, sits back down, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid!

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan May as well not even bother! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan And Still my pyramid sucks so very much! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan I really am the worst!
twitch chat
July 2020

Rania's a DongDigger

twitchquotes: [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] I ain't saying Rania's a DongDigger, but she ain't messin with no broke krippers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Happy 420 emoji copypasta

April 2021

VapeNation

Emoji Pasta

COPY THIS GEM TO HELP TSM

twitchquotes: COPY PrimeMe THIS PrimeMe GEM PrimeMe TO PrimeMe HELP PrimeMe TSM PrimeMe
twitch chat
April 2019
Riot Games

Rhyme Chant

League of Legends

I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers

twitchquotes: OMG this guy is so wrong. As a longtime sub and donator, I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers. When I send them donos they thank me personally on stream so I'm pretty sure they know who I am haha
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

Pac-Man projectiles

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan FBBlock 🍒 🍓 🍊 🍎 🍈 ✈️ 🔔 🔑
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream

twitchquotes: "Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

Goodbye vegetable man. Goodbye.

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, i am the manager of the supermarket where you buy packages of vegetables everyday. After you leave every morning we are left with no vegetables. People are started to complain about you and asked me to ban you from coming to this supermarket. They threatened me if i don't ban you they won't come here anymore. I am so sorry that i have to do this. Goodbye vegetable man. Goodbye.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T

twitchquotes: TriHard TriHard TriHard TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T.
twitch chat
February 2020

I need the 2-3 police here right away

twitchquotes: ╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ hello 2-3 police, i need you here right away, its an emergency ╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

One chat, under Kripp, unbannable, with OJ and BM for all

twitchquotes: ヽ༼☑ل͜☑༽ﾉ I pledge allegiance to the chat of the United States of Kripparian, and to the Spammerino for which it stands, one chat, under Kripp, unbannable, with OJ and BM for all ヽ༼☑ل͜☑༽ﾉ
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Failed Tanner

twitchquotes: So you're going by "moonmoon_ow" now buddy? Haha what's up cool guy, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? I'm so sorry me and the guys gave you a hard time in school. My therapist says I was jealous of your big brain, lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? We married but divorced this year. She took the dog. I'm unemployed and I drive the same mustang GT from senior year. I'm lucky if its starts. Things really changed huh? Could you loan me a sub?
twitch chat
August 2019

Tanner from High School

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