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I pay $4.99 a month to enjoy chat

twitchquotes: ᶫᶦˢᵗᵉᶰ ᵘᵖ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵃʸ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵃᶰᵈ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᶦᶰ ᵃᶜᶜᵒʳᵈ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʷᶦᵗᶜʰ ᵖᵒᶫᶦᶜᶦᵉˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢᵖᵃᵐᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶰᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫˢᵒ ʳᵘᶦᶰᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ʷʰᶦᶜʰ ᴵ ᵖᵃʸ $4⋅99 ᵃ ᵐᵒᶰᵗʰ ᵗᵒ ᵉᶰʲᵒʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉ ᵃᶰʸᵒᶰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᴵ'ᵐ ᶜᵃᶫᶫᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖˢ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Salt season pass

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Don salteroni from Sodium enterprises, we would like to remind you to renew your season pass as soon as possible if you would like to continue receiving daily shipments of table salt, best regards Don salteroni. pls no PJSalt
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Does anyone else bite their Switch?

twitchquotes: Does anyone else bite their Switch? This is not a shitpost, I really do this. I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get pissed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my switch for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Nintendo seems to have built the Switch with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp. What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching smash player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!
twitch chat
July 2020

Tyler from the seven seas

twitchquotes: So you're going by "MOONMOON" now huh matey? Haha whats up scalleywag, it's Tyler from the seven seas. Remember me? Me and the fellas used to give you a hard time on the water. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the old scag you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I pillage over 200 isles a year and drive a cream interior sloop. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
December 2018
MOONMOON

Tanner from High School

How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone

twitchquotes: I am Geepsy from Romania. All of my life I have dreamed to play against top players like Dennis and ray nads in Cardstone. My girlfriend Alextrasza sold our farm to achieve my dream. Wish me luck at Dreamhack!
twitch chat
April 2014
PGL

It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. It's Seppuku or Harakiri.

twitchquotes: I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nihongo (Japanese for you gaijin), and I’ve been involved in numerous study abroad trips to Japan, and I have memorized over 300 kanji characters. You need to learn that the correct term for ritual suicide is Seppuku or Harakiri. It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. Please educate yourselves.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker

twitchquotes: Kripp, you are called casual all day everyday and I say it is time to stop. If you truly wish to play a mans game, Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker. Nothing is more hardcore and less p2w than the masterpiece that is cookie clicker. Play that on stream and never be called casual ever again.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Control V

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ ɪ ᴄᴛʀʟ ᴠ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴅʟᴇss ʀᴇᴛᴀʀᴅ ຈل͜ຈ
twitch chat
August 2014
EtrnlWait
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne?

twitchquotes: Tensei, I have been playing league competitive for many years now, but at the most recent event I drank too much with Meteos. I woke up the next day in his bed with my fingers smelling a bit rank. Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne(s)?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

League of Legends

7 Flamestrikes

twitchquotes: Wait a minute . . . 7 Flamestrikes . . . Thats 49 mana . . . There's 49 confirmed illuminati members . . . This guy . . . He's illuminati . . .
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

This guy's brofist is CRAZY

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's brofist is CRAZY!” ☑ “My knuckles can't win against a fist like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those 2 fingers to win" ☑ “He brofisted the only sub that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fist ☑ “There was nothing I could fist” ☑ “I fisted that perfectly”
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Sneaky goes 8th in TFT 8 times in a row

twitchquotes: After going 8th 8 times in a row, "Patient 8" hits his head on the wall 8 times in quick succession. The patient only communicates to his "chat"; a bunch of random sentences strung together to find out what will make the patient communicate. The word "Meteos" seems to trigger some sort of erotic response in the patient.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, “Do you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. “Dude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. “Fortnite?” Then another. “Yeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with “where we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say “Tilted Towers!”
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

What happened to this ad? :(

Copypasta being funny is just incomprehensible

twitchquotes: I always thought comedy was something I could never lose my grasp on, but "Copypasta" being funny to anybody is just incomprehensible.
twitch chat
April 2019

Reports gather, and now my chat restriction begins

twitchquotes: ʀᴇᴩᴏʀᴛs ɢᴀᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍy ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇsᴛʀɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴇɢɪɴs. ɪᴛ sʜᴀʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴍy ᴩᴇʀᴍᴀ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀʀᴅ ɴᴏ ʙʀᴜsʜ, ᴡɪɴ ɴᴏ ɢᴀᴍᴇs, ғᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ᴛʀɪʙᴜɴᴀʟ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ʙᴀᴅɢᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ɴᴏ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ᴩᴏsᴛ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴍ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏss. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴩᴀᴍs ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ғʟᴀᴍᴇs ʜɪs ᴛᴇᴀᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪᴅᴀʟᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴜᴩᴩᴏʀᴛs, ᴛʜᴇ sʜɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅs ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍs ᴏғ ᴍᴇɴ. ɪ ᴩʟᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴍy ᴍᴏᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴇyʙᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴇᴀɢᴜᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜɪs ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛs ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

We here at NL_KRIPP welcome all TRUMP subs

twitchquotes: We here at NL_KRIPP welcome all TRUMP subs. This is a safe place for you all to congregate. You will not be harmed. You are all stellar examples of humanity and we want you here. Type trumpW, let your inner donger soar.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

The Cocklock Deck

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, its the "cocklock" you just beat. I'm on the phone with my mom right now, and she isn't very happy with you. She is coming over now to comfort me, and then we are going to have to report you to the police. I hope you enjoy jail.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

RETARD WAVE

twitchquotes: ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ:・゚ RETARD WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE RETARDNESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO RETARDS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º
twitch chat
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing