I used to be a real ad
Sort by:

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Diablo 2 is a top down shooter from the 1800s

twitchquotes: Hi Octavian, I've been watching your stream for some days now and I really enjoy it! Actually no, I hate it. You think you're always right when you play that cardgame and now you're playing some topdown shooter from the 1800's, dude grow up. Kid ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Kripp is actually still living in Canada

twitchquotes: Kripp Is actually still living in Canada, He's Got Artificial sunlight to make it look like he's living in another timezone with Speakers that emit background sound All so that he can get more Euro and Australian Viewers and make it look like he's not actually a vampire so vampire hunters don’t hunt him down. I see through your disguise Kripp Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord 🤖+🤴 Jeff Divorcedzos 💔 Salmonella 🐔 Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🤡 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole 🥒💦 👉👌😳 🥒 Z 🥒 U 🥒 C 🥒 C 🥒 Tim 🍎 Bottom 🅱️ENIS Jack Ma MIA 🤷‍♂️ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods 🙏✝️
March 2021

WallStreetBets

YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070

twitchquotes: Did You Know? YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070. The native Dongers sang it to please their God. One day they didn't sing YAYO, a NACHO TORPEDO destroyed their whole culture. Ripperino Dongerino, all you knew was YAYO..
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

A spare I guess

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I bought two bundles of asparagus today. I only needed one but the other can be 'a spare i guess'.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Upside-dong

twitchquotes: ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o) im upside-dong ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o)
twitch chat
August 2014
MushIsGosu

Urgot demands playtime!

twitchquotes: Dear Mr Rodriguez Qtpie. This is Urgot, the best ranged champion since Thresh ADC. I must confess that I find your consistant playing of other ADCs whilst neglecting me racist. Urgot demands playtime!! Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

CNN reports on Reynad in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: ༼;´ ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ༽ Attention twitch chat. CNN is reporting popular Hearthstone streamer Andrey "REYNAD" Yanyuk attempted to hang himself after a disappointing weekend of tournaments. Luckily he ran out of rope before he could finish the cowardly act. ༼;´ ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ༽
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Wanna buy some dongers?

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
twitch chat
January 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Hello crip, this is uggernakkerweer-taguanga from Thailand

twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother, I am here to politely ask you all to stop making fun of my son. He has always had social problems and it really hurts his feelings when you guys make fun of him. I'm sure you will all be reasonable about this.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Kripp and Larry Page, CEO of Google

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, Lᴀʀʀʏ Pᴀɢᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, CEO ᴏғ Gᴏᴏɢʟᴇ. Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴘʏʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ Eɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ™. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ ᴡɪʟʟ ʀɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Evolution is sorcery made up by communists

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Pie, concerned Christian parent here, my child came asking for 4.99$ because he said he wanted to join the BDC, whatever that is. Please stop filling my kid's head with lies... I already had to tell him that Evolution is sorcery made up by communists
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad

I hope your arena wins soar as high as I'm going to be

twitchquotes: Key Kripp! I'm Rob! I just purchased a fresh, legal dimebag from a Colorado dealer and intend to celebrate. I hope your arena wins soar as high as I'm going to be during the stream
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Damn missed the TSLA pump

Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Could you guys be more serious and stop the spamming

twitchquotes: guys could you please be a little serious and stop the spamming? people are trying to enjoy the stream here, its hard to find a place where im accepted for who i am and when i see you all spam kripps chat it makes me feel rly bad because i know that he wants you to learn instead of joke around as well
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance

Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have: 10% LUCK 20% SKLZ 15% CPW 5% PLTR 50% PAIN and 100% R.TO (RTN) is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
March 2021

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(

GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing