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Vegeta

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ascii art
September 2021

Who’s Joe? Joe Momma

"Who’s joe?" a distant voice asks. Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location. The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar. ”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered. The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear. "I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.
September 2021

Classic

I used to be a real ad

You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021

Why is my BLACK friend so racist?

So I was playing chess with my BLACK friend the other day and something rather curious happened. As we were about to start playing he asked, “Could I play as white this time?” Why is my BLACK friend being so racist????? Clearly your color doesn’t matter and as privileged white man myself I could not bear listening to these words!!!!!! Black? White? It’s all the same guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 2021

Chess

I hate Reddit's new avatars

They look so incomprehensibly fucking STUPID. WHO CAME UP WITH THEM? I liked the old avatars, they were simple and friendly. Now every time, EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. I look at someone's username, I see this ugly little shit, an abomination. Makes me almost fucking VOMIT. THEY LOOK SO DAMN STUPID I'M FUCKING TIRED OF KT. IT LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN HAD SEX WITH A COCKROACH, THEN WORE SOME UGLY SHIRT AND PANTS. THE REDDIT CREATURE DUDES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THIS STUPID ABOMINABLD SHIT. I HATE it. I want to BURN IT WITH FIRE. Sadly you can't burn JPGs. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE ONE IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT FUCKING SPEZ
September 2021

Reddit

I used to be a real ad

Forsen's only spectator

twitchquotes: Forsen, hello. It's me - your only spectator. Over the years I have created the illusion that many people are watching you, but it was me. Now I will write this message from all accounts.
twitch chat
September 2021
Forsen

God of War Kratos

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ascii art
September 2021

Billy the Puppet (from Saw)

─────▄██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▄───── ────███───────────────███──── ───███─────────────────███─── ──███───▄▀▀▄─────▄▀▀▄───███── ─████─▄▀────▀▄─▄▀────▀▄─████─ ─████──▄████─────████▄──█████ █████─██▓▓▓██───██▓▓▓██─█████ █████─██▓█▓██───██▓█▓██─█████ █████─██▓▓▓█▀─▄─▀█▓▓▓██─█████ ████▀──▀▀▀▀▀─▄█▄─▀▀▀▀▀──▀████ ███─▄▀▀▀▄────███────▄▀▀▀▄─███ ███──▄▀▄─█──█████──█─▄▀▄──███ ███─█──█─█──█████──█─█──█─███ ███─█─▀──█─▄█████▄─█──▀─█─███ ███▄─▀▀▀▀──█─▀█▀─█──▀▀▀▀─▄███ ████─────────────────────████ ─███───▀█████████████▀───████ ─███───────█─────█───────████ ─████─────█───────█─────█████ ───███▄──█────█────█──▄█████─ ─────▀█████▄▄███▄▄█████▀───── ──────────█▄─────▄█────────── ──────────▄█─────█▄────────── ───────▄████─────████▄─────── ─────▄███████───███████▄───── ───▄█████████████████████▄─── ─▄███▀───███████████───▀███▄─ ███▀─────███████████─────▀███ ▌▌▌▌▒▒───███████████───▒▒▐▐▐▐ ─────▒▒──███████████──▒▒───── ──────▒▒─███████████─▒▒────── ───────▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒─────── ─────────████░░█████───────── ────────█████░░██████──────── ──────███████░░███████─────── ─────█████──█░░█──█████────── ─────█████──████──█████────── ──────████──████──████─────── ──────████──████──████─────── ──────████───██───████─────── ──────████───██───████─────── ──────████──████──████─────── ─██────██───████───██─────██─ ─██───████──████──████────██─ ─███████████████████████████─ ─██─────────████──────────██─ ─██─────────████──────────██─ ────────────████───────────── ─────────────██──────────────
ascii art
September 2021

Hey Arnold!

░░░░░░░░░▀█▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄░░░░░ ░░░░██▀▀░░░░░░░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀░░██▄▄░░░ ░▄█▀░░░░░░░▀█▄░░░▀█░░░░░░▄█▀░░░░░░░░▀▀▄░ ██▄▄░░░░░▄▄░░▀░░░░░█▄░▄░█▀░░░▄▀░░░░▄▀▀▀░ ░░▄█▀░░░░░░▀░░░░░░░░████░░░░▀░░░░░░░▀▀▄░ ▄█▄▄░░░▀▀▄░░▄▄█▀▀▀▀▀▀█▄▀▀▀█▄▄░▄▀▀▀░░░▄▄█ ▀▀░▄▀░░░▄█▀▀█░░░░▄░░░░░▄▀▀▀█▀▀▄▄░░░██░░░ ░░▀▀▀▀▄▄▀█▄█▀░░█▀░░░░░░░▀▄█▀░░░▀▄██▀▀░░░ ░░░░░░░█▄▄░░░░░░▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄█░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█▄▄░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄█░░░░▄█░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀█░░░▄▄▄███▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▀██▄▄▄██▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▄█▀░░░░░░▄▄▄░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░█░░██░░░░░░░░█░░█░░▀█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░██▄██░░░░░░░░█▄▄▀▄▄█▀░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░███▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░▀███▄▄████▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░█████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
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September 2021

Daddy’s little tidepod

i'm daddies wittle tide pod hehe (ꈍ꒳ꈍ)i'm all squishy and wet for daddy! (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ he loves how my bitter taste nuzzles his taste buds and my Botanical Raintm scent!!!! (。・ω・。)but he knows how im not meant to be eaten...(´･ω･`)waaah!!! dont eat all of me daddy(　；∀；) hehehe my soap-pussy is so wet >///< 1 lick 2 lick 3 lick 4... no more daddy i'll break~(●///▽///●) hehe i'm daddies wittle tide pod so wet and squishy =w=
September 2021

UwU

NSFW

I used to be a real ad

Trump nuclear ramble

Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.
September 2021

Donald Trump

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

AITA For banning my sister from my wedding since she won't follow the dress code?

Hello Reddit UWU my name is fox chan nya~ 🦊 and this September I'm getting married (wiggles tail in excitement) 😍🐈🇷🇺 I'm getting married next week to my alpha horse wolf Shadow Senpai 🐴🐺🥰. The dress code is animal themed but my sister won't do it. She's Vagen😳 and thinks it's bad (cries cutely while Mozart's Symphony No. 40 in G minor plays)🎶🎼♫🎤 (eyes turn red like demon, but not like demon) I want to not invite her 😡😤🤬😈 AITA?
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

What happened to this ad? :(

Professor Utonium

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September 2021

Bender

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September 2021

Plankton

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September 2021

Spiderman Logo

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September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

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