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Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.

Hey👋 there you 👈🤡 STAR⭐⭐ WHORES💃😩😜! Know🤔 what day 🌞 it is🤭🧐🤔🤔🤔? You 👈🍑 guessed 🤔 it😆😆, its may 🗓 the girth🌭🌭 be with you 👈 day 📆. These are definitely 💯 the voids⚫🍩I'm looking👀👁️ to fill 💦🤰. Stop✋✋ doing the hand🍆✊✊ 💦solo and darth 💀 maul👄 this pussy😺😹😽. Time 🕐🕠🕣 to get 🉐🔛 princess👸👸👸 leia-d💏. Daddy 🍆👨🐴 😉💖💦vader better 👍 force 🖐 choke🤞🤞💪👐 me. Don't 🚫 🚫want no 🚫 😣😣baby👶🍼 yoda🤰🤰 so into the garbage 🗑 chute🗑️🍑🍑, flyboy🦸‍♂️🚀. Cant 🚫 rule👑 the galaxy💫 so I'll 📝 just settle 👍 for Uranus🪐. Send⬆️ this to all 💯 your 👉 other STAR 🌟✨🌠 ⭐⭐ WHORES💃😩😜!!!! If you 👉🤖 get 🉐 5️⃣ back 🔙 you 👉 are a dirty😛😫😘 wookie 🐶. If you 👉 get 🉐 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🔙 you 👉 are granted 🐩🙏🏾 a seat💺 on 🔛 🔛🔛the seNUT💦💦. If you 👉 get 🉐 1️⃣5️⃣ back⬅️⬅️ you 👈🏼 are a padaHUN😘💋. If you 👉😭 get 🉐 2️⃣0️⃣ back 🔙 you 👉🏼👤❤ are a real 😍 Jedi 🗡👎 mastwhore💯💘😩🙈🙆‍♂️

Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.

Can someone explain xQc to me? I watched his stream for the first time yesterday (always just seen him in clips) and he spent roughly 80-90% of the stream slamming his desk after he farts. Is that what all his streams are? Does he not do anything else but fart and slam all day?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.