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OMG that was not a c9 plat chat

twitchquotes: OMG that was not a c9 plat chat ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ you see, I know what a c9 is because I'm a low diamond and understand concepts such as c9, reset, dive and goats, unlike you PLATS ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ
twitch chat
May 2019

Overwatch

Boss of this gym

twitchquotes: Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down. Fuckโ†—Youโ†˜ Oh, Fuckโ™‚You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough. Oh yea? I'll kick your ass! Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that leather stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say? Yeah, no problem buddy! You got it. Get out of that uh, jabroni outfit. Yeah, smart ass. I'll show you who's the boss of this gym.
twitch chat
July 2020

KappaPride

What happened to this ad? :(

๐Ÿ—ฟ is the worst emoji

๐Ÿ—ฟ is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? It's useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment ๐Ÿ—ฟ as if it's funny. It's not. ๐Ÿ—ฟ deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die.
April 2021

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. Whatโ€™s even the joke???? โ€œHahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend itโ€™s goodโ€???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, โ€œhehe itโ€™s morbin timeโ€ ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You knowโ€ฆ. I never would have seen the movie without all of these โ€œmemesโ€(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your โ€œMORBIUSโ€ your โ€œmighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHITโ€ NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? โ€œMorb morb morb morbโ€ youโ€™re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does โ€œmorbinโ€ even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get โ€œmorbโ€ bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES โ€œgETtiNg MoRBedโ€ EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying โ€œmorbโ€ LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isnโ€™t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know Iโ€™m just going to get FLOODED WITH โ€œget morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a manโ€ HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH
July 2022

Morbius

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
March 2021

I sexually Identify as

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LEC aka Legendary Elite Conference

twitchquotes: LEC - aka โ€œLegendary Elite Conference,โ€ is a League for Riot Games that is often acclaimed for its limitless pool of talent and innovative gameplay. It is specifically known for embarrassing a certain minor region in the fastest MSI Finals ever.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Send me nudes. Not your naked body

twitchquotes: Send me nudes. Not your naked body, not your bare skin. I want your nudes, your naked truths. Your secrets. Your lies. Your fears. The unfiltered thoughts you kept hidden for years. I won't judge. I'll listen. For your truths are real and that's who I want to know.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

DO A BACKFLIP

97%, of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a building about to jump. "If you are the 3% sitting there with popcorn, screaming "DO A BACKFLIP," Repost this.
December 2020

A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says โ€œSorry, I canโ€™t let you in without a Thai.โ€
February 2021

Never click on scam links, try typing the URL by hand

twitchquotes: Summoners, beware! The consequences can be quite Sivir if you click on links promising free Riot Points. Never click on links that you donโ€™t trust - instead, try typing the URL in by hand.
twitch chat
July 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocadoโ€™s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". Theyโ€™ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriendโ€™s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking heโ€™s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesnโ€™t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brotherโ€™s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. Iโ€™m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

United States of America is now known as West Iran

twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY

twitchquotes: I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY, after they won the GRUB HUB teamfight. Maybe they can get those HONDA turrets, too! After they win the game, I can go tweet to get on their VERIZON all chat during the STATE FARM analyst desk
twitch chat
June 2021
LCS

League of Legends

sellout

FeelsBadMan pyramid

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan May as well not even bother FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan And Still my pyramid sucks
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed, his organs absolutely ravaged from years of veganism. He turns to his computer monitor for one last look at his beloved twitch chat only to see a bunch of weebs, emote spam and copy pasta. Tears fill his lifeless, vegan eyes. Rania is at his side as he draws on all his power to take his last breath and say the only enlightening words that come to mind.. "K"
twitch chat
October 2017
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

May the Fourth Emoji Pasta

May 2022

Holiday Emoji

Emoji Pasta

Holiday

i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent. Am I the asshole?

>hanging out with friend group >one guy facetimes some british slag he knows >i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent >say she sounds like hermione >Make some joke about earl grey tea >she says, "ask this fuck'a how you even make earl grey tea >Say, "toss it in the boston harbor" >bongchick gets all pissed off >friend asks me to leave Am I the asshole?
June 2021

greentext

British People

Daily Airport Security Test!

twitchquotes: โœ… ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿฝ ๐Ÿพ ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿšซ Daily Airport Security Test! Can you pass? โŽ cmonBruh
twitch chat
February 2019

OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH LULW RANDOM HEALTH PROBLEMS LULW SUPER SPECIFIC SOCIETAL ISSUE LULW EMBARASSING MOMENT IN HISTORY LULW BRING UP YET ANOTHER SPECIFIC WEIRD EVENT LULW
twitch chat
May 2019

EU vs NA

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8th year without variety

๐Ÿ“œ โœ Sadge ๐“œ๐”‚ ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป, ๐“ฝ๐“ธ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ถ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ด๐“ผ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ 8๐“ฝ๐“ฑ ๐”‚๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป ๐”€๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ฝ ๐“ฟ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐”‚. ๐“ฆ๐“ฎ ๐“ถ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ท๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ธ ๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฎ. ๐“Ÿ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ผ๐“ฎ ๐“น๐“ป๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ผ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ฟ๐“ช๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ท. .
February 2021
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing