I used to be a real ad
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monkaHmm Pepega

twitchquotes: monkaHmm . o O ( Pepega )
twitch chat
July 2019

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

xQc is bad at RP

twitchquotes: i've been watching xQc since pog champs 3 but after watching this disgusting attempt at "RP" i cannot support this streamer anymore, i am unfollowing and sending clips to NoPixel Staff Immediately
twitch chat
February 2021
xQcOW

Art of Conquest is the best!

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): Hey Kripp! I just saw your Youtube video about Art of Conquest! It looks like such an amazing free game with a lot of wonderful content and replayablility. I was wondering you were going to play Art of Conquest on stream for us tonight? It would be a privilege to watch such a skilled gamer with a positive attitude such as yourself play this mind-bogglingly complex game. Thanks Kripp, you're the best - just like Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

sellout

A NUCLEAR REACTOR HAS EXPLODED IN LEGO CITY

A NUCLEAR REACTOR HAS EXPLODED IN LEGO CITY START THE EMERGENCY HELICOPTERS HEY BUILD THE HELICOPTERS, THROW BORON INTO THE REACTOR AND STOP THE DISASTER THE NEW CHERNOBYL COLLECTION FROM LEGO CITY
December 2020

Lego City

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

I'm better than professional valorant players

Wait, these are PROFESSIONAL valorant players? I'm better than all of them and I'm in bronze. I purposely empty my vandal clip down to 1 bullet because I kill all my opponents with 1 tap ease. Tenz looks like he could use some lessons from me directly. I'm bronze by the way.
August 2021

Valorant

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful I am disgusted. Of all the people who deserve to be shat on, Jerma is the last person on that list. He ended his last stream abruptly in tears, he didn't even go to the subs list. I wasn't even looking at chat at that moment, so I was confused. I go on Twitter and I see a trending hashtag #Jerma985isOverParty, people generally being very mean to him, and why? Because apparently he compared Dr. Who to Rick & Morty. Wow. Congratulations, you bullied a 36-year-old young boy to tears, just because of a joke. Grow a thicker skin, snowflakes.
July 2022
Jerma985

Cute gamer girl

twitchquotes: Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. ;) HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: β€˜not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

What happened to this ad? :(

ONLY A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA

twitchquotes: ONLY TheTick A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA MrDestructoid
twitch chat
September 2017

Viewbots

"Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!"

twitchquotes: "Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!" screams Kripp at the struggling mobile game dev who's game he is being sponsored to play. "How am I supposed to hit rank 1 without a massive head-start over everyone else!? I have to be able to brag to my chat about being #1 in every game I play!" The developer, scared, gives in to his demands. Business as usual for the Kripp.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

sellout

JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020

THATS A YEP MOMENT

twitchquotes: THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL πŸ’¦
twitch chat
June 2020

NEVER, EVER BAN COPYPASTAS AGAIN

twitchquotes: To Chat Mods: NEVER, EVER BAN COPYPASTAS AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COMMUNITY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR OPPRESIVE 10 MINUTE FUN-SUCKING TIMEOUTS. BE CAUTIOUS!
twitch chat
July 2018

MODS

What happened to this ad? :(

no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers

twitchquotes: chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
November 2017

Do NOT meet Robert Downey Jr. in real life!

I met him in real life and told him how much of a fan I was. He kept on saying rude things to me such as "Who are you", "How did you get in my house" and "I'm calling the police." Celebrities, PLEASE respect your fans!
June 2021

im gigalooted

twitchquotes: qtpDANCE on me qtpDANCE hes one hit qtpDANCE hes lit qtpDANCE hes no armor qtpDANCE im fucking running qtpDANCE im dead as fuck qtpDANCE im far as fuck from you guys qtpDANCE im gigalooted qtpDANCE
twitch chat
August 2019
imaqtpie

The Airport Security Test!

twitchquotes: βœ… 🏻 🏼 🏽 🏾 🏿 🚫 The Airport Security Test! Can you pass through? ⎝ 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018

Chat Test

I used to be a real ad

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing