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I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021

mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole

twitchquotes: lmao mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole with a huge ego maybe the cool streamers like mitch jones would come over and learn mario 64 speed running tricks with you. lmao but ur just depressed its actually sad ur sad, i would know i'm a hate watcher that used to make $600k a month... anyway my dad's coming downstairs gotta go
twitch chat
May 2020
Mizkif
I used to be a real ad

Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day

twitchquotes: Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day. Still waiting for you to pick up me and Cattarian from the "Foster Care" fun park that you left us at a few months ago. Tell Motherania that we miss her too. If you dont pick us up soon we'll be forced to work in the salt mines. Love, Kripp Jr
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school, the kid you bullied for 3 years. After I got transferred to another school I had huge self-esteem issues and never made any friends. I turned to league of legends, the only game that made me feel special at silver elo but when I found out you're the top league streamer I got flashbacks from when you bullied me. There is no justice in this world. I am going to end it all now I hope you are happy..
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v3

It’s the end of May the Fourth 4️⃣ 🌌😫 but that means the beginning of 🎸👨🏾🌵CincHOE de Mayo 🎸👨🏾🌵 get ready to get your TACO eaten 👅💦🌮 and gulp Papi's BURRITO 😩🌯💦 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your main 💅🏾PUTAS 💅🏾who need to be stuffed by a CHORIZO 🌭💦 if you get 5️⃣ back you're a border hopping 💁🏽CHOLA 💁🏽If you get 1️⃣0️⃣ back you're a 💚 Green card HOE💚 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back you're the💃🏽Telenovela main BITCH 💃🏽 If you get 0️⃣ back you're getting deported by Trump! 🇲🇽😫🚧🇺🇸 Have a happy CincHOE de Mayo and don't let la Migra get you!!
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

What happened to this ad? :(

Dropping viewers

twitchquotes: PepeLaugh 👉 📉 viewers
twitch chat
July 2019

The Airport Security Test!

twitchquotes: ✅ 🏻 🏼 🏽 🏾 🏿 🚫 The Airport Security Test! Can you pass through? ⎝ 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018

Chat Test

Art of Conquest is the best!

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): Hey Kripp! I just saw your Youtube video about Art of Conquest! It looks like such an amazing free game with a lot of wonderful content and replayablility. I was wondering you were going to play Art of Conquest on stream for us tonight? It would be a privilege to watch such a skilled gamer with a positive attitude such as yourself play this mind-bogglingly complex game. Thanks Kripp, you're the best - just like Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

sellout

AITA For banning my sister from my wedding since she won't follow the dress code?

Hello Reddit UWU my name is fox chan nya~ 🦊 and this September I'm getting married (wiggles tail in excitement) 😍🐈🇷🇺 I'm getting married next week to my alpha horse wolf Shadow Senpai 🐴🐺🥰. The dress code is animal themed but my sister won't do it. She's Vagen😳 and thinks it's bad (cries cutely while Mozart's Symphony No. 40 in G minor plays)🎶🎼♫🎤 (eyes turn red like demon, but not like demon) I want to not invite her 😡😤🤬😈 AITA?
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

What happened to this ad? :(

monkaHmm Pepega

twitchquotes: monkaHmm . o O ( Pepega )
twitch chat
July 2019

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
June 2019
masondota2

Dota 2

ONLY A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA

twitchquotes: ONLY TheTick A TRUE VIEWBOT CAN WEAR THE ANTENNA MrDestructoid
twitch chat
September 2017

Viewbots

Skillshare Youtube Ad

Today's video is brought to you by Skillshare™️, The online learning community that's helped millions to discover their passion to take the next step in their creative journeys. They have tons of classes on things like productivity, fine art, marketing, and graphic design ranging in difficulty for anyone from beginners to full-blown masters. Most of the classes offered are under 60 minutes and every class is always 100% ad free, and trust me, I know how much you guys hate ads (you guys don't hate this one right?), I recently found this class called "finding fulfillment using pivots to power your creative career with author and podcast host Emma Gannon" to be especially inspiring. They're always adding new premium classes, so there's never a dull moment, and Skillshare™️'s entire catalog now offers subtitles in Spanish, French, Portuguese, and Dutch, so click the link in the description and sign up for Skillshare™️ today and the first thousand people who use the link in the description will get an entire month for free.
April 2022

"Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!"

twitchquotes: "Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!" screams Kripp at the struggling mobile game dev who's game he is being sponsored to play. "How am I supposed to hit rank 1 without a massive head-start over everyone else!? I have to be able to brag to my chat about being #1 in every game I play!" The developer, scared, gives in to his demands. Business as usual for the Kripp.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

sellout

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Cute gamer girl

twitchquotes: Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. ;) HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020

THATS A YEP MOMENT

twitchquotes: THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦
twitch chat
June 2020

Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: ‘not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

A NUCLEAR REACTOR HAS EXPLODED IN LEGO CITY

A NUCLEAR REACTOR HAS EXPLODED IN LEGO CITY START THE EMERGENCY HELICOPTERS HEY BUILD THE HELICOPTERS, THROW BORON INTO THE REACTOR AND STOP THE DISASTER THE NEW CHERNOBYL COLLECTION FROM LEGO CITY
December 2020

Lego City

Text-to-Speech Playing