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Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Classic

Gold Cards should have a slight buff

twitchquotes: I feel like Gold Cards should have a slight buff, like +1 attack or -1 mana or something... not that big of a change, just so it’d make Gold Cards worth it..
twitch chat
September 2018

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

NON-SUB-ONLY mode

twitchquotes: ATTENTION: The stream is now in NON-SUB-ONLY mode. If you would like to continue watching Kripparrian, please unsubscribe!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

plebs vs subs

Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020

gwent is a really, really bad game

twitchquotes: gwent is a really, really bad game. Hearthstone is where it is at PogChamp (Copy and paste this message into the twitch channel: nl_Kripp, for the reward of: 1 x Classic Pack for Hearthstone. Blizzard rewards those that are loyal. Don't include this in the message.)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian

twitchquotes: Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021

Putin had a private screening of Morbius

Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
June 2022

Morbius

DrDisrespect C V paste

I get the whole meme thing, right? Like the whole meme, meming thing? But like, to be the person sitting in chat and going "C- uh, c v, paste..." 5 seconds later, "Hehe, c v, paste! Hehe! Oh, I got someone else copying and pasting the same thing that I did so c v, paste again! Paste it, paste it all day! Oh, theres four or five that are pasting the same thing! Hehe, I got- I should start my own website of spammers! C v, copy paste!" Like- I can't imagine.. h- like the brain sitting in that head.
August 2021
DrDisRespectLIVE

find yourself a man that respects you

twitchquotes: Poor [female streamer name here], she always has to deal with these idiots. if I was her boyfriend she would get treated like the queen she is. I would never embarass her especially not in front of other people. This is disgusting. [female streamer name here] if you are reading this just get away from these morons and find yourself a man that respects you.
twitch chat
October 2020

Simps

I used to be a real ad

Stop saying the word cum

Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION. Sincerely, FUCK YOU
April 2022

LCS PODCAST STARTS NOW ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: LCS PODCAST STARTS NOW ResidentSleeper 40 MINS BETWEEN GAMES ResidentSleeper SUCH A SHAME WHEN GAMES INTERRUPT TALKING ResidentSleeper FAKE NARRATIVES ResidentSleeper FORCED HYPE ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
September 2020
LCS

League of Legends

hey xqc are you lying about my mom?

twitchquotes: hey xqc are you lying about fucking my mom? if so my dad will beat you up, hes a retired navy seal. I have never seen you in my house which is quite odd, but if i saw you i would beat you up on god.
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW

Art of Conquest Developer visits Kripp's stream

twitchquotes: 🔧(Art of Conquest™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to read the script we sent at the appropriate times, as stated. We have arranged for your requested reward of various veggies and rainbowed colored 10-inch cucumbers to arrive within a week at your house. We will send you some thick broccoli if you include "not sponsored" in your stream title. We hope you will enjoy your rewards and wish you and your vegan family a good day.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

My instagram explore tab is full of...

My instagram explore tab is full of asian girls. How do I get rid of this so my gf doesn't see?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad

xQc toxic twat

twitchquotes: I mean, it’s XQC. We expected anything different? Did any of ya’lll watch him as an OW pro? Let’s be honest here, was only a matter a time. and his channel won’t die, it’s filled with toxic twats just like him. he gets banned from twitch, he’ll go to FB or YT and continue to make bank.
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Eminem is great but...

twitchquotes: Eminem is great but I listen to 3Pac, M&Ms, 3 Chainz, Big Wayne, Small Sean, 60 Cent, Snoop Catt, Mr. Dre, Ice Cubed, Old Jeezy, Jay-Y, Soulja Girl, Jizz Khalifa, Anna Kendrick Lamar, Hard-E, Andre 2999, Big B, Weak Mill, Semi-Automatic Kelly, Adult Cudi, Wu-Tang Tag Team, KRS-Two, and Kanye East instead.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League that is often associated with very low domestic player participation (2/5). Is also ridiculed for being washed-up and it is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
October 2021

EU vs NA

What happened to this ad? :(

America as a nation can be defined as a single word

"America as a nation can be defined as a single word: Iwasinthefootasdkjhasjckabcxdqiweywqfootuidhaksb... excuse me, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping, traveling with him, traveled 17,000 miles when I was Vice President. I don't know that for a fact." - Joe Biden
April 2022

Joe Biden

Text-to-Speech Playing