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Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Donald Trump vs Biden

Approximately 15 people have died from COVID within the first 10 MINUTES of Biden’s presidency. Compare that with former president Donald Trump, where there was not a SINGLE death in the first 1,125 days of his glorious reign. Not convinced? Trump created approximately 72813% more jobs in HALF of his FIRST TERM than Biden has during in his ENTIRE time as president. The numbers don’t lie Liberals 😏👌🏼
January 2021

2020 US Election

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My husband is the moderator for a few different subreddits, and he genuinely thinks it’s a job

my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, “got too much on his plate already”. That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
November 2021

Reddit

MODS

hey xqc are you lying about my mom?

twitchquotes: hey xqc are you lying about fucking my mom? if so my dad will beat you up, hes a retired navy seal. I have never seen you in my house which is quite odd, but if i saw you i would beat you up on god.
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v3

It’s the end of May the Fourth 4️⃣ 🌌😫 but that means the beginning of 🎸👨🏾🌵CincHOE de Mayo 🎸👨🏾🌵 get ready to get your TACO eaten 👅💦🌮 and gulp Papi's BURRITO 😩🌯💦 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your main 💅🏾PUTAS 💅🏾who need to be stuffed by a CHORIZO 🌭💦 if you get 5️⃣ back you're a border hopping 💁🏽CHOLA 💁🏽If you get 1️⃣0️⃣ back you're a 💚 Green card HOE💚 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back you're the💃🏽Telenovela main BITCH 💃🏽 If you get 0️⃣ back you're getting deported by Trump! 🇲🇽😫🚧🇺🇸 Have a happy CincHOE de Mayo and don't let la Migra get you!!
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

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what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022

Facestone

twitchquotes: Important message from Blizzard® Customer Support: We recently renamed Hearthstone® to Facestone®. Please make sure not to use Hearthstone®, Skillstone® or RNGStone® since these names are obsolete. Thank you.
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen

xQc toxic twat

twitchquotes: I mean, it’s XQC. We expected anything different? Did any of ya’lll watch him as an OW pro? Let’s be honest here, was only a matter a time. and his channel won’t die, it’s filled with toxic twats just like him. he gets banned from twitch, he’ll go to FB or YT and continue to make bank.
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

FACEBOOK OUTDAITED

twitchquotes: Jebaited FACEBOOK OUTDATED Jebaited PRIVACY OVERRATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE AWAITED Jebaited NSA ACTIVATED Jebaited
twitch chat
June 2018

Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble in Japanese

twitchquotes: 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 下口尺 丅尺口凵乃乚乇! 卂𠘨刀 从卂长乇 工丅 刀口凵乃乚乇! 丅口 尸尺口丅乇匚丅 丅卄乇 山口尺乚刀 下尺口从 刀乇リ卂丂丅卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 凵𠘨工丅乇 卂乚乚 尸乇口尸乚乇丂 山工丅卄工𠘨 口凵尺 𠘨卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 刀乇𠘨口凵𠘨匚乇 丅卄乇 乇リ工乚丂 口下 丅尺凵丅卄 卂𠘨刀 乚口リ乇! 丅口 乇乂丅乇𠘨刀 口凵尺 尺乇卂匚卄 丅口 丅卄乇 丂丅卂尺丂 卂乃口リ乇! 丁乇丂丂工乇! 丁卂从乇丂! 丅乇卂从 尺口匚长乇丅 乃乚卂丂丅丂 口下下 卂丅 丅卄乇 丂尸乇乇刀 口下 乚工厶卄丅! 丂凵尺尺乇𠘨刀乇尺 𠘨口山, 口尺 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 丅口 下工厶卄丅! 从乇口山丅卄! 丅卄卂丅'丂 尺工厶卄丅!
twitch chat
August 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

I used to be a real ad

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Sniper Guild recruiter here

twitchquotes: Sniper Guild recruiter here TheIlluminati . Our mighty organization of hundreds of Sniparrians is in need of new initiates who can infiltrate the Kripparrians stream. A minimum experience of two snipes is required. Do not worry about time delays or snitches, our buddy Drivezy has you covered. We hope you will consider joining us in our quest to defeat Kripparrian
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

HEY ADVERTISERS YOU'RE ONLY PROMOTING TO ONE PERSON

twitchquotes: Jebaited HEY ADVERTISERS Jebaited YOU'RE ONLY PROMOTING TO ONE PERSON Jebaited NEED PROOF? Jebaited I'LL POST THIS ON MY OTHER ACCOUNTS Jebaited
twitch chat
September 2018

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League that is often associated with very low domestic player participation (2/5). Is also ridiculed for being washed-up and it is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
October 2021

EU vs NA

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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me preds egg rolls

twitchquotes: last week i was out really late walking through a dark alley and out of nowhere i hear "me preds" then a small asian boy wearing a kakashi cosplay came out of nowhere screaming "me preds" over and over telling me to sell my kogmaws and reksais. The same guy got me again today but this time he was saying something about egg rolls .
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Setsuko, the crybaby of TFT

twitchquotes: Setsuko, the crybaby of TFT, graces us with a melodramatic "HELP! HELP!, LIKE PLEASE!" as he navigates the turbulent seas of RNG. Oh, and let's not forget his profound insight: "THIS SHIT COMPANY." A true visionary, leading us to eighth place with unparalleled wisdom. "IS IT MY FAULT?" he ponders, as the drama unfolds. And then, in a moment of clarity, he poses the existential question: "Do you guys hate me?". Setsuko, the unsung hero of TFT! xddFRAUD
twitch chat
January 2024

Teamfight Tactics

Spam this cheese to help Philly please

twitchquotes: StinkyCheese SPAM StinkyCheese THIS StinkyCheese CHEESE StinkyCheese TO StinkyCheese HELP StinkyCheese PHILLY StinkyCheese PLEASE StinkyCheese
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

LCS PODCAST STARTS NOW ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: LCS PODCAST STARTS NOW ResidentSleeper 40 MINS BETWEEN GAMES ResidentSleeper SUCH A SHAME WHEN GAMES INTERRUPT TALKING ResidentSleeper FAKE NARRATIVES ResidentSleeper FORCED HYPE ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
September 2020
LCS

League of Legends

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React Andys constantly pausing the YouTube video

twitchquotes: Streamer the thing is, im just gonna be honest, i really dont care what u have to say, ur words mean nothing to me. But this video...this video means everything to me. And u keep pausing to speak, this feels like a personal attack. Please resume the video and shut the fuck up.
twitch chat
April 2021
Mizkif
Text-to-Speech Playing