Popular Copypastas

my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, “got too much on his plate already”. That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.

Approximately 15 people have died from COVID within the first 10 MINUTES of Biden’s presidency. Compare that with former president Donald Trump, where there was not a SINGLE death in the first 1,125 days of his glorious reign. Not convinced? Trump created approximately 72813% more jobs in HALF of his FIRST TERM than Biden has during in his ENTIRE time as president. The numbers don’t lie Liberals 😏👌🏼

It’s the end of May the Fourth 4️⃣ 🌌😫 but that means the beginning of 🎸👨🏾🌵CincHOE de Mayo 🎸👨🏾🌵 get ready to get your TACO eaten 👅💦🌮 and gulp Papi's BURRITO 😩🌯💦 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your main 💅🏾PUTAS 💅🏾who need to be stuffed by a CHORIZO 🌭💦 if you get 5️⃣ back you're a border hopping 💁🏽CHOLA 💁🏽If you get 1️⃣0️⃣ back you're a 💚 Green card HOE💚 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back you're the💃🏽Telenovela main BITCH 💃🏽 If you get 0️⃣ back you're getting deported by Trump! 🇲🇽😫🚧🇺🇸 Have a happy CincHOE de Mayo and don't let la Migra get you!!

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.