So today at church the pastor was preaching about the crucifixion of Jesus and when he said that Judas would betray Jesus, I blurted out "JUDAS IS THE IMPOSTER! HE'S SUS!" and did a big wide grin (like the "when the imposter is sus" meme). The pastor then said "What are you talking about?" So I yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING! HE DOESN'T GET THE AMONG US REFERENCE!" and then I explained the joke. The pastor, not amused, told me to sit down. I sat back down but then later when he said that Jesus was accused of blasphemy and crucified I couldn't contain myself and I yelled out "JESUS WAS NOT THE IMPOSTER!" and when the pastor told me to stop disrupting I said "THE PASTOR IS SUS, HE DOESN'T GET IT" and I then told everyone to download Reddit for funny Among Us memes. That's when the pastor told me to leave for causing disruptions. I said "WAIT! I'M NOT SUS THOUGH! WHY ARE YOU EJECTING ME?" and then I said "WHEN THE PASTOR IS SUS!" And did the hilarious grin from the meme. After that I got kicked out but it was worth it because I just trolled them all with Among Us.

👯hey SlutS! 👯💅 Now that we got our yearly 🎁 FUCK 👊🏼from good ole Saint DICK 🎅🏾 it’s FINALLY New Years Eve!!!🗓🍾👅 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ was a LONGG 🍆🍆 and HARD 😉✊🏻😫 year.... we laughed😂😆👌🏼 We cried 😢😖👎 We coughed 💦🤒🤧 we fucked GOOD👍🏻 dick🍆 and 😵😵BAD 😔 dick, 😫 BUTT 🍑 now let’s 👏👏Celebrate 🙌🎉 and watch that 💦🍆BIG 👅 BALL 😎👌🏼 Drop 👄👄 on us! 💃💃 So spread 👐🏽 those 👐🏽 legs 👐🏽 and count down ⬇️ from 🔟 until your man 💪🏾 pops 🎉 his CORK 🍾🍾 into that thirsty 👅thirsty 👅 hole! 🥰🥰 Send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ COCK-BEGGING ✊🏻🍆 WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED 🍑😱 for the next 3️⃣6️⃣5️⃣ days 😍😍😍

cum

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.