"IN THIS WORLD-" "Uh that's all, we don't need that stuff anymore, the show is over." "WHO ARE YOU, I AM THE HAND OF GOD HOVERING ABOVE!" "John , John, John," "What?" "That'll be all" "YOU HAVE NO CONTROL, EVEN OVER YOUR OWN WILL!" "woah woah woah, that's the last- that's the end of the series." "But...but- this is my will." "John will you please get out of the booth." "WHO IS JOHN I AM THE HAND OF GOD- uh hey get your hands off!" "John would you please." "no aughgh- BOOGITY BOOGITY BOO! I AM VOID! BOOGITY BOOGITY BOO!"
Submitted by:Zerk
Berk
"IN THIS WORLD-" "Uh that's all, we don't need that stuff anymore, the show is over." "WHO ARE YOU, I AM THE HAND OF GOD HOVERING ABOVE!" "John , John, John," "What?" "That'll be all" "YOU HAVE NO CONTROL, EVEN OVER YOUR OWN WILL!" "woah woah woah, that's the last- that's the end of the series." "But...but- this is my will." "John will you please get out of the booth." "WHO IS JOHN I AM THE HAND OF GOD- uh hey get your hands off!" "John would you please." "no aughgh- BOOGITY BOOGITY BOO! I AM VOID! BOOGITY BOOGITY BOO!"
I've come to make an announcement: Dallas's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He shot me with a Judge Shotgun. That's right. He took his small fuckin' peashooter out and he SHOT ME WITH IT, and he said his gun was THIS BIG, and I said that's a fucking judge. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Dallas, you got a small Gun. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my Ak-47 looks like. That's right, baby. High caliber, Extended mag, Bayonet, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He shot me, so guess what, I'm gonna shoot Bain. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER BULLETS! Except I'm not gonna shoot bain. I'm gonna go higher. I'm shooting HOXTON! How do you like that, DALLAS? I SHOT HOXTON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty minutes before i respawn now get out of my fucking sight before I shoot you too!
Submitted by:anonymous
an attempt to change the eggman rant into a cloaker rant [Payday 2]
I've come to make an announcement: Dallas's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He shot me with a Judge Shotgun. That's right. He took his small fuckin' peashooter out and he SHOT ME WITH IT, and he said his gun was THIS BIG, and I said that's a fucking judge. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Dallas, you got a small Gun. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my Ak-47 looks like. That's right, baby. High caliber, Extended mag, Bayonet, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He shot me, so guess what, I'm gonna shoot Bain. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER BULLETS! Except I'm not gonna shoot bain. I'm gonna go higher. I'm shooting HOXTON! How do you like that, DALLAS? I SHOT HOXTON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty minutes before i respawn now get out of my fucking sight before I shoot you too!
As a huge Mango fan, this performance is unacceptable. I refuse to call someone the GOAT if they lose to non top 10 players in pools. Absolutely ludicrous. Get off Twitter and get to practicing or I will officially resign as a fan. mangoTYPERS
Submitted by:Mang0
As a huge Mango fan, this performance is unacceptable. I refuse to call someone the GOAT if they lose to non top 10 players in pools. Absolutely ludicrous. Get off Twitter and get to practicing or I will officially resign as a fan. mangoTYPERS
As a huge Mango fan, this performance is unacceptable. I refuse to call someone the GOAT if they lose to non top 10 players in pools. Absolutely ludicrous. Get off Twitter and get to practicing or I will officially resign as a fan. mangoTYPERS
ITS ABOUT DRIVE 🏎 ITS ABOUT POWER 🦍 WE STAY HUNGRY 🤰 WE DEVOUR 🧟♂️ PUT IN THE WORK 🧑💻 PUT IN THE HOURS ⏰ AND TAKE 🎬 WHATS OURS 💸 BLACK 🖤 AND SAMOAN 🪝 IN MY VEINS 🫀MY CULTURE 🌎 BANGING 💥 WITH STRANGE 🧛 I CHANGE ♻️ THE GAME 🕹 SO WHATS 🧐MY MOTHERFUCKING NAME ⁉️ ROCK 🗿
Submitted by:anonymous
ITS ABOUT DRIVE ITS ABOUT POWER
ITS ABOUT DRIVE 🏎 ITS ABOUT POWER 🦍 WE STAY HUNGRY 🤰 WE DEVOUR 🧟♂️ PUT IN THE WORK 🧑💻 PUT IN THE HOURS ⏰ AND TAKE 🎬 WHATS OURS 💸 BLACK 🖤 AND SAMOAN 🪝 IN MY VEINS 🫀MY CULTURE 🌎 BANGING 💥 WITH STRANGE 🧛 I CHANGE ♻️ THE GAME 🕹 SO WHATS 🧐MY MOTHERFUCKING NAME ⁉️ ROCK 🗿
H-Hewwo mwaster! H-h-how are yuwu twuday? O-Oh? Y-yuwu must bwe pwent up from work twuday! *notices masters big monsterous cawk* I-i-i see yuwu are aweady hawd. *gets on knees in front master* S-s-shaw we gwet stwarted? *pulls juicy thick 7 inch out* I-i got a s-s-seven inch itch mwaster, can yuwu hwelp me? Pwease Mwaster, the itch is rweal nice and dweep. *Master pins me against bed* Are yuwu weady to pwunish me mwaster? Gwive it to me. *feels it enter* A-Ahh~ I-its swo beig and nice inswide me! Gahh~! *Master goes faster and very hard* Pwease Mwaster, bruise my ass wif those stwong thrusts. *feels master go harder and faster* Yes Mwaster cum inswide of me! Make me a swut all for yuwu! Impregnate me pwease Mwaster. Ahhhh~!! *feels masters thick sticky cum shoot out* Shooo guwud mwaster! Pwunish me again sometwime.
Submitted by:TheOnceler(but with owo's)
O-'OwO' Mwaster is extwa hawd today uwu!
H-Hewwo mwaster! H-h-how are yuwu twuday? O-Oh? Y-yuwu must bwe pwent up from work twuday! *notices masters big monsterous cawk* I-i-i see yuwu are aweady hawd. *gets on knees in front master* S-s-shaw we gwet stwarted? *pulls juicy thick 7 inch out* I-i got a s-s-seven inch itch mwaster, can yuwu hwelp me? Pwease Mwaster, the itch is rweal nice and dweep. *Master pins me against bed* Are yuwu weady to pwunish me mwaster? Gwive it to me. *feels it enter* A-Ahh~ I-its swo beig and nice inswide me! Gahh~! *Master goes faster and very hard* Pwease Mwaster, bruise my ass wif those stwong thrusts. *feels master go harder and faster* Yes Mwaster cum inswide of me! Make me a swut all for yuwu! Impregnate me pwease Mwaster. Ahhhh~!! *feels masters thick sticky cum shoot out* Shooo guwud mwaster! Pwunish me again sometwime.
Yup.. I get it .. at 20 I couldn’t keep my hands off my dick .. keep pumping that hard cock.. cuz when you get older, it won’t be that easy.. I was jacking-off twice a day in my twenties.. once a day in my 30’s & forties, 3 times a week in my fifties .. and now in my sixties - once or twice a week .. so great to hear from a fellow Jack-off buddy .. keep on stroking !
Submitted by:u/Sfswine
found on r/jackoffconfessions
Yup.. I get it .. at 20 I couldn’t keep my hands off my dick .. keep pumping that hard cock.. cuz when you get older, it won’t be that easy.. I was jacking-off twice a day in my twenties.. once a day in my 30’s & forties, 3 times a week in my fifties .. and now in my sixties - once or twice a week .. so great to hear from a fellow Jack-off buddy .. keep on stroking !