[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
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October 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

Your social credit score has increased

中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]Copied! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]
October 2021

Mimikyu

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠛⠉⢹⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠄⠠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠉⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢡⠄⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠗⠚⠉⠉⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠲⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠉⣴⣆⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣇⢰⡧⣉⡉⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣿⡷⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⠘⠃⠈⠻⢦⠞⠋⠙⠺⠋⠉⠉⠉⢡⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⢲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⠀⢸⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⡰⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠈⠋⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠰⣮⣉⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⠻⠥⠤⢤⣶⢄⠀⢀⣠⣄⠀⠀⢠⣶⣤⣄⠈⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠋⠁⠠⠁⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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November 2020

Pokemon

My son got kicked out of school

twitchquotes: My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. FeelsBadMan
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August 2017

Harambe Fresh Prince of Bel Air

twitchquotes: In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where i spent most of my days, Chillin out hanging out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool, When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gun shot just before I stopped breathing air...
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October 2016

Harambe

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