[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Complexities behind classical music

twitchquotes: Chat doesnt understand the complexities behind classical music. While most of chat spends their days spamming "Kappas" and such, I study music theory and the works of Bach and Mozart. Musical masterpieces such as these are not easy for the average person to comprehend, and certainly above those that chat.
twitch chat
July 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

I hate the French language

I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations. I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
April 2022

Reynad would like Forsen to join Temple Storm

twitchquotes: Hi Foreskin, it's Reynard here. I want you to join my team Temple Storm. You are very salty and we like that. I will play you $500 American, more than a Swede makes in a lifetime. I will also be requiring your salt for my hair.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Elephant

โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“(O)โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ
November 2014

Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society (Reddit moderator goes off)

I'm seeing many bigoted comments down there so I just want to make this clear : any hate towards moderators will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit with no warning. This includes, but is not limited to, calling moderation a "fake job" or saying that we "do it for free". Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society. Behave. Or get banned.
December 2021

Reddit

MODS

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