[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
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Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
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July 2014
Kripp

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? 💦😉 🧻Corona🤧 is CUMMING💦 for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being 💋NAUGHTY😉 🙅‍♀️Social distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my 🤷‍♂️quarenTEEN🔞 with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant 💦 and CUM👅 over so I can administer👩‍⚕️ your treatment😉 and inject💉 you with the vaccine🍆 We’ll spend the 🗝lockdown🔒 flattening the curve📉 and FATTENING DEM’ 👏🏿 CURVES 🍑 Get ready for 14 days of 💯THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this ✉️ to covid-19 of your sloppiest 💦💦SYMPTOMATIC🤒 SLUTS🤫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan bat🦇 bitch 👎 If you get 10 back, you’re a 😉horny💄healthy💪hoe😘 If you get all 19 back👏 your ass🍑 is the ANTIDOTE💊 and it’s in high demand 👬🏿
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Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠖⠀⣀⡈⢭⣉⠩⣭⣉⣐⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠙⢋⣴⠞⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣦⡙⢿⠟⣡⣾⣶⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠻⢿⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠿⣿ ⢿⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣍⠻⠌⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⣭⣭⣥⣌ ⡶⢀⣾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢀⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⢴⣶⣬⣬⣈⣵⣾⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣥⣥⣶⠖⠀⠀⠤⠂⠀⠒⠠⢥⡠⠤⠤⢄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⢿⡿⢫⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠦⠂⠉⠉⠵⠄⠤⠀⠐⠒⠌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠤⣶⠆⠂⠍⠻⢷⣾⡏⠑⠀⢹⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠒⡒⠖⠂⠁⠀⣀⡀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡙⢿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣝⣒⣶⠦⠤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠤⢶⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠀⠠⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢴⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⢛⢛⣿⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠷⠦⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⠤⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿
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