[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Yer in proper mess ya nob head

twitchquotes: แดœ แดกแดแด› แด8? ษช sแดกแด‡ส€ แดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แดษดแด‡ แด„สœแด‡แด‡แด‹ส แด„แดœษดแด› แดแด€แด›แด‡, sแด€ส ษชแด› แด›แด แดส า“แด€แด„แด‡ แด€ษดแด… ษดแดแด› แดษดสŸษชษดแด‡ แด€ษดแด… แดกแด‡'สŸสŸ sแด‡แด‡ แดกสœแด€แด› สœแด€แด˜แด˜แด‡ษดs. ษช sแดกแด‡ส€ 2 แด„สœส€ษชsแด› I'สŸสŸ สœแดแดแด‹ สแดแดœ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ ษขแด€ส™ส™แด€. สแดแดœ ส™แด‡แด›แด›แด‡ส€ sสœแดœแด› สแดแดœส€ แดแดแดœแด›สœ แดส€ ษชแด แด„แด€สŸสŸษชษดษข แดแด‡ สœแดแดแด‡ส™แดสs ส€ษชแด›แด‡ ษดแดแดก แด˜ส€แด‡แด˜แด€ส€ษชษด า“แดส€ แด€ แด˜ส€แดแด˜แด‡ส€ ส€แดœแดส™สŸแด‡. แด›สœแด€ ส€แดœแดส™สŸแด‡ แด›สœแด€แด›สŸสŸ แดแด€แด‹แด‡ สแดแดœส€ ษดแด€ษด sแดส€แด‡ แดŠแดœs สœแด‡แด€ส€ษชษด ส™แดแดœแด› ษชแด›. สแด‡ส€ ษชษด แด˜ส€แดแด˜แด‡ส€ แดแด‡ss สแด€ ษดแดส™ สœแด‡แด€แด….
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Sanic Hegehog

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„ โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
July 2015

AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece!

twitchquotes: I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece! It perfectly encapsulates the spirit of 2018 and the super funny memes we had this year such as fortnite dances, baby shark, dame tu cosita, k pop, and more! I especially like the part with everyone jumping out of the bus in the sky! That was so cool it looked so real. Thank you YouTube for making my year and reminding me of the awesome funny memes!!!
twitch chat
December 2018

Rift Scuttler of fortune

twitchquotes: ยฐใƒฝเผผ ็›Šยฐใƒฝ เผฝ,, You've been visited by Rift Scuttler of fortune. Tingle your antennae and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year ยฐใƒฝเผผ ็›Šยฐใƒฝ เผฝ,,
twitch chat
February 2015
Bjergsen
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