Moby Dick, The Grapes of Wrath, Tom Sawyer
Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta.
No wonder you're retarded.
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So that was a bruh moment
twitchquotes:She said she was βpregnant,β but I wasnβt buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
She said she was βpregnant,β but I wasnβt buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
Hi Kripp, this is Pogoβs mom
twitchquotes:Hi Kripp, this is Pogoβs mom. I noticed you havenβt been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesnβt make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "Weβre never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why donβt you try being a bit more inclusive?
Hi Kripp, this is Pogoβs mom. I noticed you havenβt been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesnβt make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "Weβre never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why donβt you try being a bit more inclusive?
The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers β1β β9β β8β and 4β on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it.
βItβs for hunting,β you say.
They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief.
βOne more thing.β
You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes.
βI need to see your vaccination cardβ
It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes.
βDon't worry, it will all be over soonβ
He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your βsocialism is for figsβ shirt into your arm.
βNighty nightβ
Your world fades to black once more.
The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers β1β β9β β8β and 4β on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it.
βItβs for hunting,β you say.
They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief.
βOne more thing.β
You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes.
βI need to see your vaccination cardβ
It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes.
βDon't worry, it will all be over soonβ
He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your βsocialism is for figsβ shirt into your arm.
βNighty nightβ
Your world fades to black once more.