[Copypasta] Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election

Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Kelly Loeffler loses the Georgia senate election
What happened to this ad? :(
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Robinhood halts trading on President's Day

This is bullshit. Iā€™m disgusted and Iā€™m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itā€™s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenā€™t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadā€™s wifeā€™s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iā€™m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iā€™m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheā€™s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itā€™s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itā€™s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all. Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itā€™s 2021 you bigots.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him šŸ˜”
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

The real power of compounding

Remember, if you lose 10% a day over several days youā€™re actually losing less money as time passes. This is what people mean when they talk about the power of compounding
December 2020

WallStreetBets

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyā€˜re trading/Iā€˜m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donā€˜t exactly know whatā€˜s going on, itā€˜s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is ā€žtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketā€œ. They are ā€žaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEā€œ. They acted as if GME was some ā€žchildish financial playgroundā€œ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how ā€žGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeā€œ. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

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