[Copypasta] Dear streamer, I will be joining the doubters

twitchquotes: 📜 ✍️ Sadge 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 [streamer name] , 𝓘 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓯𝓾𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓳𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼.
twitch chat
February 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Joe Rogan is obsessed with cooking meat over fire

I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I'm hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.
January 2022

Joe Rogan

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

is that… a GIRL?!!!?

is that… a GIRL?!!!? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh girls? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like, here? *starts sweating* uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *starts drooling* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *wide eyed* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts farting* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts shitting with bloodshot eyes* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *poopie leaking out of my shorts* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts convulsing which makes the shit run down my shaved legs even faster* UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH *gets a boner* UUUHHH-UHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUHHHH-UHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH *passes out*
May 2022

48 year man from Somalia, sorry for bad England

twitchquotes: ＨＥＬＬＯ ＡＭ ４８ ＹＥＡＲ ＭＡＮ ＦＲＯＭ ＳＯＭＡＬＩＡ． ＳＯＲＲＹ ＦＯＲ ＢＡＤ ＥＮＧＬＡＮＤ． Ｉ ＳＥＬＬＥＤ ＭＹ ＷＩＦＥ ＦＯＲ ＩＮＴＥＲＮＥＴ ＣＯＮＮＥＣＴＩＯＮ ＦＯＲ ＰＬＡＹ ＂ｈｅａｒｔｈ ｓｔｏｎｅ＂ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＷＡＮＴ ＴＯ ＢＥＣＯＭＥ ＴＨＥ ＧＯＯＤＥＳＴ ＰＬＡＹＥＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ Ｉ ＰＬＡＹ ＷＩＴＨ ４００ ＰＩＮＧ ＯＮ ＢＲＡＺＩＬ ＳＥＲＶＥＲ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＡＭ ＲＡＮＫ ２３ ＡＬＲＥＡＤＹ ＰＬＳ ＮＯ ＣＯＰＹ ＰＡＳＴＥ ＭＹ ＳＴＯＲＹ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Hearthstone

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