I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor
Just heard an employee use the âF wordâ on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but donât you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
WallStreetBets
How traders politely decline the second date
I discovered recently if I am on a date and Iâm not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They wonât ask for another one then, I wonât have to politely decline.
WallStreetBets
I couldnât tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do
I couldnât tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe Iâm jacked to the mfâing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MFâER.
WallStreetBets
Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
âAre you coming to bed?â your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youâll stop soon, though. âSoon!â you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltâthe alternation feature brokenâon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyâre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeâhours?âyou realize youâre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
WallStreetBets
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itâs not a story any bull would tell you.
Itâs an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits⌠He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish⌠the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!