[Copypasta] Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight

twitchquotes: Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't whisper me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok). Shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless twitch chat pastas. (Gonna have lots of segz tonight with a real girl).
twitch chat
May 2021
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Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iโ€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iโ€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iโ€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Kappa Nazi

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. It's Seppuku or Harakiri.

twitchquotes: Iโ€™ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nihongo (Japanese for you gaijin), and Iโ€™ve been involved in numerous study abroad trips to Japan, and I have memorized over 300 kanji characters. You need to learn that the correct term for ritual suicide is Seppuku or Harakiri. It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. Please educate yourselves.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

I identify as a meme

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Danks-a-lot" and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity

twitchquotes: Don't get it twisted chat. moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity or for a better emote or anything. It was a selfish desire to personally absolve the broadcaster of his poor use of ultimate abilities. He wants to forget, but this we cannot allow. Every McCree Q to respawn, we moon2LULT. Every Winston ult jumping off the edge, we moon2LULT. Every time he presses Q at 20 HP and dies instantly, we moon2LULT. You must be vigilant, vertical scrolling communication room. moon2LULT
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON
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