[Copypasta] Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight

twitchquotes: Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't whisper me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok). Shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless twitch chat pastas. (Gonna have lots of segz tonight with a real girl).
twitch chat
May 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Boss of this gym

twitchquotes: Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down. Fuck↗You↘ Oh, Fuck♂You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough. Oh yea? I'll kick your ass! Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that leather stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say? Yeah, no problem buddy! You got it. Get out of that uh, jabroni outfit. Yeah, smart ass. I'll show you who's the boss of this gym.
twitch chat
July 2020

KappaPride

monkaShh

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣤⣀⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣿⠡⢟⡿⠿⣛⣛⣛⠿⢿⡆⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣃⣸⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣋⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡄⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣭⣉⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣭⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣮⡙⠟⢛⣭⣭⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣄⠄ ⣴⣸⣿⠑⣛⣿⠟⢩⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡋⠉⣿⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡋⠛⣿⣧ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣭⣝⡻⠿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣵⠿⢟⡑⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠭⠶⠟⠃ ⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣙⣛⣒⠠⢤⣤⡔⢚⣛⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣋⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣎⡙⢛⣋⣉⣉⣅⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣭⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣛⣛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⡿⠿⢛⣃⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢾⣿⣯⣭⣍⣛⣛⣛⡻⠶⠶⣮⣭⢡⣿⣿⢇⣭⣵⣶⠾⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣦⣤⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠶⠶⢸⣿⣿⢠⣤⣤⣶⠾⠛⠄⠄ ⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⡿⠰⠖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣭⣕⠒⠲⣭⣭⣝⣛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣭⠄⣿⡟⢣⣴⣾⠟⢂⣤⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⣉⣭⣭⣭⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⠞⣛⣭⣶⣷⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

Tides left reynad for C9

twitchquotes: ☑ “This team's salary is CRAZY!” ☑ “Reynad's contract can't win against a salary like C9's” ☑ "They NEEDED precisely those bonuses to get me to sign" ☑ “They bribed the only player that would turncoat” ☑ "They had the perfect negotiator" ☑ “There was nothing Reynad could do” ☑ “I backstabbed that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

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