(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Please quit calling it "Victory Fap"

twitchquotes: Would you guys please quit calling it "Victory Fap"? I find it very offensive, and I'm sure Rania does too, that you think Kripp can only become aroused through dominance in a child's card game. Please grow up chat, thanks
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad

gwent is a really, really bad game

twitchquotes: gwent is a really, really bad game. Hearthstone is where it is at PogChamp (Copy and paste this message into the twitch channel: nl_Kripp, for the reward of: 1 x Classic Pack for Hearthstone. Blizzard rewards those that are loyal. Don't include this in the message.)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Hearthstone

This streamer believes that he has many different viewers

twitchquotes: This streamer believes that he has many different viewers, however it is really only me on many different accounts. To prove this, I will now repost this exact message on all my other accounts.
twitch chat
June 2017

My Kappa is broken

twitchquotes: My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace
twitch chat
June 2017
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Anime girl 5

⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⢀⠍⠙⢿⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠈⢀⡤⢲⣾⣗⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻ ⡀⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠰⠁⢰⣾⣿⣿⡇⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣇⢀⢀⠙⠷⣍⠛⠛⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⠋⠉⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⡙⠆⢀⣀⠤⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣖⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠏⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡒⠉⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢈⣴⣿⣿⡿⢀⡿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⠐⠄⢀⢀⢀⠈⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⢀⣡ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠢⣤⣄⢀⢀⣀⠠⢴⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⠟⢡⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣹⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠘⠛⠋⠁⡀⣄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⠈⠛⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣹⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣿⡿⢛⢿⡇⠟⠰⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣭⢭⠏⣿⡿⢸⡏⣼⣿⢴⡇⢸⣿⣶⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⢃⣶⣶⡏⠸⠟⣱⣿⣧⣛⣣⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠟⢻⡿⡉⣷⣬⡛⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢰⠘⣰⣇⣿⣿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢺⣿⠟⣩⣭⣽⣇⠲⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⠐⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢐⡈⣿⣷⣶⠎⣹⡟⠟⣛⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠠⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣼⣿⣷⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2017

Weebs

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

why do they call it xbox 360?

twitchquotes: why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away 😂 👌 💯 🔥
twitch chat
June 2017

Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat

twitchquotes: Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat. We've been with him for 2+ years and he doesn't have the guts to say it. Or maybe he doesn't even really care about us after all we've been through. If Kripp doesn't say "I love you" to us chat, then I think it's time we leave him until he realizes how important we are.. BibleThump
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE

twitchquotes: BUG TEST 🐛 IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE ⎝ Jebaited
twitch chat
June 2017

Hearthstone

Chat Test

What happened to this ad? :(

I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017

I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze

twitchquotes: I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this..
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Twitch Viewbot Premium Package

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Hello, thank you for ordering the Twitch Viewbot Premium Package for $550 which will last 2 months and end on 8/13/17. This subscription will have your chat enter life-like messages that are believable and you'll never be suspected! Here are some examples: PogChamp PogChamp PogChamp how do you play this game? PJSalt what game is this? Additionally, upgrade for another $50 and earn the message: BabyRage STRIMMER TURN THIS DUMB SHIT OFF BabyRage MrDestructoid
twitch chat
June 2017

Viewbots

Spamming MEME's makes you happy

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📈 According to statistics spamming MEME's makes you happy FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
June 2017

Imaqtpie's father messages him

twitchquotes: Hola Miguel, it is me your father, Fernando Santana. I see you achieved a lot in your life and your seniora Lisha is a fine mamacita. When are you comin to Mehico?
twitch chat
June 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

Un'Goro volcano board copypasta

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 🥁 🍀 🐢 🍀 ☘ = 🌋
twitch chat
June 2017

Hearthstone

You are now breathing and blinking manually

twitchquotes: monkaS YOU ARE NOW BREATHING AND BLINKING MANUALLY monkaS
twitch chat
June 2017

I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs

twitchquotes: 🤔 In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs? Or is each bug is giving him 1/10th of a hug? 🤔
twitch chat
June 2017

Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad

Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing