Latest Copypastas

I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

❕ATTENTION⚠️9️⃣YR OLDS👶🏻, WE NEED UR HELP🗣! PEWDIEPIE🇸🇪 IS BEING HELD🗡CAPTIVE👁 BY ♿T-SERIES🆘️AND CAN ONLY BE RELEASED🗝 IF U SMASH 🔨THAT SUBSCRIBE 🅱️UTTON👍🏻AND👏🏻 TURN ON THE BELL🔔! TIME🕒 IS TICKING, LETS⏳⌛️ 🤜🏻BRO FIST T-SERIES🤛🏻 AND GET THE EPIC 🥇VICTORY ROYAL🚩🚩💰

Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.

ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵘʸ ᵃ ᵏᵉʸᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᶜʰᶦᶰᵉˢᵉ ᵇᶦᵈᵈᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵉᵇˢᶦᵗᵉ

Dear Kripparian, how dare you... I have dedicated my life to Hearthstone. I am a proud Hearthstoner and so are the rest of your fans. You cannot betray us and start playing a Hearthstone competitor. I can fall asleep to your HS streams because of how casual it is, but this game is too complicated and it keeps me awake. If you betray us we will rise up, you have been warned.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Artifact. The gameplay is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the gameplay will go over a typical viewer's head

Hey Tyler, I was just curious if this was the new Gray Screen Simulator for Windows and Windows devices? I've been seeing a lot of good reviews and was curious about picking it up. Thanks for the advice, buddy!

Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.

Fortnite, as a game, shows the failures of capitalism. The whole premise of buying VBucks for bling and novelty with real money creates a divide between the rich and the poor over something completely useless. The struggle to compete for weapons in game shows how people who get lucky will win - if, under a communistic style - Fortnite started with everyone sharing the same weapons, only then will the best at the game win the royale. Now you see, “the game” and “Fortnite” can easily be replaced with “working” and “society”, and you have the description of communism. By underlining these basic errors in such a system Fortnite acts as perfect communist propoganda. Workers of the world, unite!

Guys my moms said I'm grounded 😭 and she took my computer away 😰 no more fortnite! 😲 So I posted her credit card numbers in my story as revenge! 😎😈 Heck you mom!😂

❗️✋ OK MOM ✋❗️WE NEED TO TALK 😡😤 I NEED V-BUCKS 😜💵 I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S 😎🤨 I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM 😫🤬 I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH 🗑️🔫 I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR 😏👏 NOW I NEED YOU 🧐👉 TO BUY ME V-BUCKS 😎🔥 I'VE GOTTA SHOW 🤯🤬 MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE 🔥😎💯 NOW I'LL BE IN BED 😴💤 BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT 😔📚🚸

Epic Fortnite gamers, it's time to rise and grind! John Wick is in grave danger. Our friend is trapped in Dusty Divots surrounded by fake defaults with no shields or weaponry, and the only one who can help is you to save him! What he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, as well as the expiration month and date. BE SWIFT, GAMERS. You gotta do it. The circle is closing and John Wick needs your assistance fast so that he can acquire that bread, nae nae on those NOOBS, and achieve another SICK W! YEAH!

Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!

pulls both arms outwards in front of my chest and pumps them behind my back, repeats this motion in a smaller range of motion down to my hips two times once more all while sliding my legs in a faux walking motion, claps my hands together in front of me while both my knees knock together, pumps my arms downward, pronating my wrists and abducting my fingers outward while crossing my legs back and forth, repeats this motion again two times while keeping my shoulders low and hunching over, does finger gun with right hand with left hand bent on my hip while looking directly forward and putting my left leg forward then crossing my arms and leaning back a little while bending my knees at an angle

The default dance is truly a masterpiece. Never, in all of history, has such an artistic masterpiece ever been created. The choreography is possibly the most beautiful sight ever beheld by the human eye. The sharp sound of the SLAP when the player’s hands collide perfectly with the beat of the song sends a bone chilling shiver down my spine, every single time I hear it. I find my self watching my in-game avatar performing this phenomenal dance ritual for hours on end.

i play fortnite everyday, all day. without it, i wouldn’t be who i am today. fortnite is by far the best game ever in existence. if you don’t play it, then your obviously some broke, stupid piece of shit who doesn’t have a life. i am level 100 and have bought all the skins available at the moment. stop making fun of fortnite you assholes. i bet that you don’t even have a good skin or pickaxe you sad little cunt. you need to step your game the fuck up or else ill block you on every social media app my parents will allow me to have.

I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, “Do you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. “Dude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. “Fortnite?” Then another. “Yeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with “where we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say “Tilted Towers!”