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It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.

I get a feeling that John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body. He has a lot of discipline, he was the most hardworking WWE wrestler during his time at the WWE, always coming early and putting in the work. He is extremely wise beyond his years. When confronted with a stalker, he gave the guy life lessions. He is extremely patient and show the same restraint an Asian person has. I don't know if he read a lot of Art of War or Eastern philosophy when he was younger. He learning Chinese and playing piano shows me that he is very discipline and very eager about self improving. He is a millionaire and is famous, but yet, he still wants to improve. Interestingly enough, he didn't marry some hot female despite Nikki Bella expecting a proposal. He started dating and actually married Shay Shariatzadeh not long after meeting her. John Cena wanted a smart girl, and Shay had a career and wasn't just hot. So there are many examples that John Cena surprise me as a person. Not many white people can legit speak Mandarin for that long after learning it for a short period of time. His pronunciation isn't the best, but he has ways with his words and his mind is sharp. No wonder he is so successful.