I used to be a real ad
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I'm from NA, my job is streaming

twitchquotes: 4Head I'm from NA 4Head My job is streaming 4Head Getting out of groups? 4Head You must be dreaming! 4Head
twitch chat
September 2018

EU vs NA

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985
What happened to this ad? :(

It's 2036

Itโ€™s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. โ€œNo, mom. I donโ€™t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.โ€ She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. โ€œNo horror trap/witch house either,โ€ you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying โ€œAye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?โ€
October 2020

A fine capitalist girl

twitchquotes: I may beโœŠ a communist ๐Ÿšฉโš’โญ๏ธ but if i see๐Ÿ‘€ a fine ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ capitalist ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ girl ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ you bet๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ™Œ imma be tryna seize ๐Ÿ‘ the means of dat booty ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฏ
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen

twitchquotes: As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen, I begin to contemplate reality. What truly has substance in this realm of technology, avarice and sin? What is our future, if not a blank, hollow nothing, rife with silence and strife? PogChamp
twitch chat
January 2018

Overwatch

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Shungite

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 3)

So I went into work and I started working. I decided to install Among Us to play, right? But my boss was walking by and said "Hey, why are you playing video games on the work computer?" I said that I was playing Among Us and asked him if he was uncultured. He told me to get out so I said "Quit being sus." And I did the funny imposter is sus grin you guys know? And I slapped his face and yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING!" Everybody in the office was looking at me like I just murdered several bosnian children. So I pulled out my dick and said "Look at this little spaceman!" I took off my pants and ran around the office with my dick flying around. The buff guy, Chad, was chasing me but I just got behind him and humped him. I said "good imposters get butt humps." He screamed and punched me. I ran out work not wanting to work with a bunch of REDDITORPHOBES.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY

twitchquotes: I cannot wait to see RED BULL BARON POWER PLAY, after they won the GRUB HUB teamfight. Maybe they can get those HONDA turrets, too! After they win the game, I can go tweet to get on their VERIZON all chat during the STATE FARM analyst desk
twitch chat
June 2021
LCS

League of Legends

sellout

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, โ€œWhy, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?โ€ I was taken aback, and all I could say was โ€œHuh?โ€ but he kept cutting me off and going โ€œhuh? huh? huh?โ€ and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad

Airport wifi password

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head HELLO TSM? ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head TL HERE ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head AIRPORT WIFI PASSWORD IS "123456789" ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head waiting for fly quest
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Spam Bob Ross To Prevent A Zackray Loss

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob Spam CoolStoryBob Bob CoolStoryBob Ross CoolStoryBob to CoolStoryBob prevent CoolStoryBob a CoolStoryBob Zackray CoolStoryBob loss CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

i play fortnite everyday, all day

twitchquotes: i play fortnite everyday, all day. without it, i wouldnโ€™t be who i am today. fortnite is by far the best game ever in existence. if you donโ€™t play it, then your obviously some broke, stupid piece of shit who doesnโ€™t have a life. i am level 100 and have bought all the skins available at the moment. stop making fun of fortnite you assholes. i bet that you donโ€™t even have a good skin or pickaxe you sad little cunt. you need to step your game the fuck up or else ill block you on every social media app my parents will allow me to have.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Colossal amount of educational content

twitchquotes: What is this painful experience youโ€™re inflicting upon us, Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana? I personally am not attending to this League of Legends stream to be witness to this truly horrendous game known as the ยซDark Dungeons". I came for magnificent memes, incredibly pleasurable Skyrim questing, and exciting League of Legends games with a colossal amount of educational content.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

I used to be a real ad

Do you ever draw anything but Yaoi?

Quick question. Do you ever draw anything but Yaoi? I'm a big fan of your art, but as a straight Phighting fan I just get confused with all of the Yaoi. I'm gonna be fully honest, I don't know if I'm using the word "Yaoi" right. My friend just told me if means "gay people", or something. Thank you in advance.
January 2024

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Useless Spotify ad

twitchquotes: Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
twitch chat
May 2020

I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

twitchquotes: ๐“›๐“˜๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“พ๐“น ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“ฝ๐“ป๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“ธ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป 90 ๐”‚๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ'๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ถ๐“ฎ? ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ด ๐“ช๐“ฐ๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“น๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ผ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท 69 ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“ผ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ฝ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ. ๐“˜'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ผ๐“ด๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ท๐“๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ, ๐“˜ ๐“ฐ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ฐ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“น๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ผ. ๐“จ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ณ๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ผ๐”€๐“ช๐“ฝ, ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ.
twitch chat
September 2018

Fortnite

I used to be a real ad

Are you ready for my demolisher?

twitchquotes: Reynad moaned softly as Hyp3d pressed up against him. "Are you ready for my demolisher?" quipped Hyp3d. Reynad gave a short gasp "B-But it's too early, you donโ€™t have enough mana!" Hyp3d shyly replies, "I've got a Coin-dom right here."
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing