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Kripp please lick your knee

twitchquotes: Please for the love of god Kripp just lick your goddam knee. I've been sitting here for 10 hours straight watching that boney *** knee of yours by your big lushous mouth. Please just fulfill this one wish I have and lick that sexy *** knee of yours so I can blow my creamy load all over myself and slowly fall into a deep sleep.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp invites Hotform to a friendly Fireside duel

twitchquotes: Hotform sees another invite to a friendly Fireside duel from Kripp and wants to move into fetal curl, but his hand is chained to the heater. Rania steps next to his laptop, putting dry bread and tap water down. “Come, Hotform, it is only 3 more hours today. You can even have some lettuce for dinner.” His eyes tear up while he accepts the invite and mulligans his hand, but then he sees Kripp’s first minion: Lucentbark. “No, nononono, please, please! Kill me! Just kill me! CHAT! CHAT HELP ME!”
twitch chat
August 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(

MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper THE CIRCLE OF LIFE IS OVER ResidentSleeper PLAGUE LORD ResidentSleeper MY WINGED CHILDREN FILL THE SKIES ResidentSleeper I AM THE ESSENCE OF MAGIC ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Dawg u a crip or a blood fool

twitchquotes: so i was walking down the road today and 2 black hoodlums approached me. They asked "dawg u a crip or a blood fool". Startled, i muttered "I'm a kripp". The power of morosan rushed through my body, i raised my donger and blew both of the hoodlums away with 100% pure orange juice from concentrate. Value.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Faeria created a strategy...

twitchquotes: Faeria created a strategy that revolved around sponsoring popular streamers without requiring any enjoyable gameplay. Trying to promote new and innovative games makes an overall stream more fun and compelling, but not bothering to explain the game and leaving the chat confused during the entire stream is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Olombo Bongo from Somalia

twitchquotes: hi kripp i em olombo bongo frm Somalia. erryday i watch u strem u are favourit stremmer i sell kidney for a laptop 2 i can watch u strem. i work in bannana facotry an 1 day i cum to america LAND OF FREEDDOM so i be lyke u and strem 4 monies insted of pick banana, WOO USAsss al pacino, malcolm in middle, stevo-o, mike 'the situation' sorrentino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

New positive chat with kripp'

twitchquotes: ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ノ ☑ “This guy's deck is well chosen!” ☑ "He had the skill and the heart of the cards!" ☑ “He drew into one of many possible cards that could beat me!” ☑ "He drafted well, played well!" ☑ “I gave the game my best, and that's all that matters!” ☑ “If I'm lucky, we can have another game soon!” ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

octavian will come in your room tonight

twitchquotes: hello my name is octavian i died in a falafel accident 10 years ago unless you copy and paste this 10 times i will come in your room tonight and make you go 0-3 i look like a middle-aged salty vegan
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat

twitchquotes: Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat. We've been with him for 2+ years and he doesn't have the guts to say it. Or maybe he doesn't even really care about us after all we've been through. If Kripp doesn't say "I love you" to us chat, then I think it's time we leave him until he realizes how important we are.. BibleThump
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Rania is playing hardstone

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST

twitchquotes: Listen up you fucking assholes, your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST if it weren't for MTG, the fucking king of card games. It was the first and the best. Literally everything you love would not be here if Richard Garfield didn't create MTG in 1993. Pokemon, Yugioh, Hearthstone ALL WOULD NOT EXIST. So THINK TWICE next time you call this is a Hearthstone copy...
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Donger Song

twitchquotes: I like to raise my Donger I do it all the time ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ and every time its lowered┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┐ I cry and start to whine ┌༼@ل͜@༽┐But never need to worry ༼ ºل͟º༽ my Donger's staying strong ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノA Donger saved is a Donger earned so sing the Donger song! ᕦ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕤ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Your journey to casualness is almost complete

twitchquotes: Trump and Massan watch Kripp together in silent amusement as he slowly enters TSM's lair. "Kripp" Trump announces, "your journey to casualness is almost complete. Henceforth, you shall be known as, Casualarrian." Kripp bows down before him, and says " It is my destiny."
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here!

twitchquotes: Hey everyone, Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here! PermaSmug We are glad to see chat loves the game. You can download it for free for IOS of Andrioid right now and get 500 gems for free! Want to play more? No problem! Just use this 👉 💳 and you may continue!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Kripp's next hoodie color

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Im excited to think of what the next hoodie color will be. This ones been going strong 20 days in a row now. Maybe we'll go back to the blue one or even the other light grey one that was worn for 30+ days. It's like a game now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

You kids call that a copypasta?

twitchquotes: You kids call that a copypasta? What do you whippersnappers even know about shitposting? You just go to that Twitch Quotes website and copy any kind of crap that is posted there every minute. Well let me tell you: back in my day, we used to craft our own copypasta by hand, full of love and care, using only the freshest memes from Kripp's stream, then shared it with everyone. We didn't simply copy any crap that appeared on our screens. And don't even think of copying this you lazy millenials.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing