Item #: SCP-985-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance.
Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state.
SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment.
Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact".
SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
Submitted by:anonymous
Sick fuck
Item #: SCP-985-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance.
Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state.
SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment.
Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact".
SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
On September 20th, 2018, authorities arrived on the scene Thursday to find Jerma (Jeremy “Nine-hundred eighty-five” Elbertson, 32) dead on the scene. Medical experts say he died from natural causes after being pinned under a CRT television weighing only 35 pounds.
Submitted by:anonymous
On September 20th, 2018, authorities arrived on the scene Thursday to find Jerma (Jeremy “Nine-hundred eighty-five” Elbertson, 32) dead on the scene. Medical experts say he died from natural causes after being pinned under a CRT television weighing only 35 pounds.
DASDASDASDASDAS
Submitted by:anonymous
DASDASDASDASDAS
THE Jeremiah 985’ Elberstein showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4”. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said “The required information is in the lab directions” but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
Submitted by:anonymous
WHAT A FUCKED UP SICKO
THE Jeremiah 985’ Elberstein showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4”. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said “The required information is in the lab directions” but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
I got pantsed at school yesterday. It was really embarrassing, and everyone was laughing at me, so I thought I’d do the only rational thing I could think of. I pulled my underwear down and started furiously masturbating to assert dominance. My crush was in the room so it was really easy to get the soldier up. Everyone was too shocked to say anything, I think they were paralyzed from the fear too. Anyways, after a few minutes of cranking I squirted baby batter all over my crush. She started screaming and ran out of the room. Everyone was yelling at me, the teacher even walked in and took me to the principal’s office. I got expelled and I might get a sexual assault charge soon. At least I asserted dominance though. Stay sigma, fellow kings 🐺🐺🐺
#pantsed #school
Submitted by:CopyPastaArchive
I got pantsed at school so I jacked off to assert dominance and got expelled in sigma fashion 😎😎😎
I got pantsed at school yesterday. It was really embarrassing, and everyone was laughing at me, so I thought I’d do the only rational thing I could think of. I pulled my underwear down and started furiously masturbating to assert dominance. My crush was in the room so it was really easy to get the soldier up. Everyone was too shocked to say anything, I think they were paralyzed from the fear too. Anyways, after a few minutes of cranking I squirted baby batter all over my crush. She started screaming and ran out of the room. Everyone was yelling at me, the teacher even walked in and took me to the principal’s office. I got expelled and I might get a sexual assault charge soon. At least I asserted dominance though. Stay sigma, fellow kings 🐺🐺🐺
#pantsed #school
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hi guys tf2 pyro here
Submitted by:anonymous
wArJFOijdJAOjidjioJJFSFJSFJSFSF
hi guys tf2 pyro here
me when
Submitted by:nashe the idiot
me when
me when
KEKW o O (WutFace)
Submitted by:anonymous
KEKW o O (WutFace)
Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω｀o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (´･ω･`);. bwt tw powost iwswnwt obwer nyet, it gwos own an own an own an own. uwu wanyaa stwop weadwing bwut uwu cwant stop wewding, uwu stwartd thwis awnd ur gwoing two fwinibsh it nowo mwattew wat! uwu hab mwoxie kwiddowo, bwut uwu wibl gwib ub sowon. i cwan wite wike dis fwor owors, swo dwont cwalengbe mii..
… wbats dis??? uwu awe stwill weedinb mwie powost?? uwu habe awot ob detewemwinyanyatiom!! ｡◕‿◕｡! u habve comopweedid tha pwost, good job!
Submitted by:PKFireGod
Imagine reading a post...
Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω｀o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (´･ω･`);. bwt tw powost iwswnwt obwer nyet, it gwos own an own an own an own. uwu wanyaa stwop weadwing bwut uwu cwant stop wewding, uwu stwartd thwis awnd ur gwoing two fwinibsh it nowo mwattew wat! uwu hab mwoxie kwiddowo, bwut uwu wibl gwib ub sowon. i cwan wite wike dis fwor owors, swo dwont cwalengbe mii..
… wbats dis??? uwu awe stwill weedinb mwie powost?? uwu habe awot ob detewemwinyanyatiom!! ｡◕‿◕｡! u habve comopweedid tha pwost, good job!
I Love everyone in this chat. All y’all are beautiful. The mods are awesome and should know that and Sapharic is fucking amazing at streaming and priceless. Keep streaming ur awesome
Submitted by:SapharicsBiggestFan
I Love everyone in this chat. All y’all are beautiful. The mods are awesome and should know that and Sapharic is fucking amazing at streaming and priceless. Keep streaming ur awesome
I Love everyone in this chat. All y’all are beautiful. The mods are awesome and should know that and Sara is fucking amazing at streaming and priceless. Keep streaming ur awesome
Submitted by:SapharicsBiggestFan
I Love everyone in this chat. All y’all are beautiful. The mods are awesome and should know that and Sara is fucking amazing at streaming and priceless. Keep streaming ur awesome