Our government is so kind and caring for us. Waits till the very last minute to finally pass something and gives us $600 which should last us for at least 5 months. God bless this country
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. βWhat?β you ask absentmindedly. Youβre looking at Futures, and youβre surprised to see them red.
βI want you to play with me.β She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnβt totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, βI want to do that more.β
But youβve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. βUh huh,β you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donβt realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donβt say a word because you donβt notice.
She hasnβt left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
We can't blame market
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
WallStreetBets
GME revamp
GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
WallStreetBets
These are classic hedge fund tricks.
WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF.
Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it.
Do not sell if you see any of these things happen:
GME drops by 30% or more after hours
SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions
GME drops below $1 a share
The Gamestop locations near you start closing
GME files for bankruptcy
GME is delisted from the stock exchange
Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment
Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago
These are classic hedge fund tricks.
WallStreetBets
Stock space rocket
.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦ γγγγββ γ
γγγΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγ
βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγβγγγγγγγ
β¦ γγγγγγγγγγ γ β β β β γγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγ,γγβββγ
.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎγββγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγγγγγ,γγγγγγγ.γγγγγγββββγγγγ
γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγββοΈ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββ
γββββββγγγγγββββββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγγ
γγβββββββγβββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββ β¦
βββγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγ[stock ticker]π γγγγ γγ,γγγ β β β β γ
γγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγβγγ γγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγβγββββ
ββββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγΛγγγ γ ββγγγγ,γγγγγγ
γγγγβββββββγββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγ
βγγββββγγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ* γγ
ββγγγγγ β¦ γγγγγγγβββββββββγββββββββγγγγ γγβγ
γγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγββββγγ.
γβγγγγγ.γγγγ π
γγγγγβββγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγββ
γΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγοΎγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ
. γγβγ π β β β β β β β β β β ,γ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
.γγγγγβγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦ γγγγββ γ
γγγΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.