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I used to be a real ad
990 copypastas found.

This chat is awful

twitchquotes: This chat is awful, literally ass, except ass can bring pleasure, and this chat is the goddamn antithesis of pleasure. This chat takes life from children and kittens and puts that pure innocence into phallic pus. This chat is disappointment and hate of humanity funneled into barely literate text that takes intelligence and shits all over it before making a shit sculpture out of the souls of everyone watching this whore of a stream. Everyone in this chat is the dregs of humanity, if even that, content with postulating whatever ass talk they can squeeze out of the withered rectum of their wasted lives.
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Thijs please remove wisp from your deck

twitchquotes: Hey Thijs. Its the G2 director here. We kindly ask you to remove wisp from your’e grandmasters deck. We are G2 not clown, i mean Cloud 9 and we expect the people representing us to take things serious and not make a joke of our orginazation. We know you are aware what said in the contract and we expect change as soon as possible.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. ā€œAre you coming to bed?ā€ your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. ā€œSoon!ā€ you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they halt—the alternation feature broken—on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a time—hours?—you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Twitch Chat allows 420 characters

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat allows 420 characters and there's 109,384 different characters that exist. So there's a total of 2.294*10^2116 possible chat messages that can exist. But you chose to spam that one
twitch chat
April 2019

chat will copy and paste any long paragraph

twitchquotes: i love [streamer name] so much. he goes live everyday and is full of energy. im not even gonna type anything that makes sense cause chat will copy and paste it anyways. the proof to my theory will be present if chat gets filled with this paragraph
twitch chat
October 2020

Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb?

Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb????? None , their to busy ???? Their gender šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
August 2021

You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin

sigh To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investor’s head. There’s also Sitoshis’s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance. The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshi’s brilliant programming method - the ā€œBlockchain,ā€ which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. šŸ˜‚ And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid šŸ˜Ž
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Bitcoin

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021

Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino

twitchquotes: Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino i solderino my weederino to the 420 lord to pay internet connection to play legenderino leaguerino. Plzerino notice me i playerin with 420 pingerino but im challenger 420 and i always end with 4/2/0 plz help me smokerino more weederino no copy pasterino
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

In the beginning, Jerma was a loving human being

In the beginning, Jerma showed many signs of being thoughtful, compassionate, and a loving human being. He worked at animal shelters, participated in charities, and created many characters in the Jerma Universe which he loved dearly. However, once Jerma started streaming on Twitch, something changed in him. At first it was a very small change, where he would make occasional threats and insults to his chat, but most of the time he seemed mentally and emotionally stable, just like the old Jerma on YouTube. But he soon began to degrade rapidly on a mental and moral level. It seemed he had grown to hate his chat, hate many of the games he played, hate many of his memes, and began became increasingly greedy for bits. He started having frequent mental breakdowns on stream, where he would throw insults and scream at the top of his lungs for just the smallest things, such as problems running and streaming a video game.
May 2022
Jerma985

We The Sus Music changed my dad

So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before. He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
June 2021

I'm Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends

twitchquotes: Hi it's Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends, we would like to promote Michael Santana from Meme Secretary at the League of Legends to Meme Lord at our Department of Legends. Thank you for your time
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Twitch chat isn’t that dumb

twitchquotes: Twitch chat isn’t that dumb. They don’t just copy paste anything. Believe it or not, most people in chat have functioning brains. Watch, no one in chat will repost this message.
twitch chat
April 2019

Just saw Trump in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just saw Trump in a hotel and I asked if he was going to win the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while chanting ā€œmake America great againā€ over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will
twitch chat
December 2020

2020 US Election

George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was ā€œsexually harassingā€ her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021

He is so incredibly narcissistic

twitchquotes: I’m new here but I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he dies to his own mistakes and lack of skill. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to make a good challenging level and that if he can’t beat it the level must be garbage. Unbelievable...
twitch chat
February 2020
Aurateur

come on chat. smoke with me

twitchquotes: FeelsOkayMan 🚬 šŸ’Ø come on chat. smoke with me.
twitch chat
March 2018

Regi storms in the TSM meeting room

twitchquotes: In the TSM meeting room, Regi stormed in with the fury of God by his side. As everyone tried to flee, the Monkey King channeled cyclone effectively knocking the new imports back to China, he pulled his staff out of his ass and knocked Tactical back to Team Liquid. Spica and Huni manage to escape, but they are greeted at the exit, a contract enticing them to stay for 100 FTX bitcoins. They choose to stay.
twitch chat
March 2022

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing