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(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
990 copypastas found.

Just saw Trump in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just saw Trump in a hotel and I asked if he was going to win the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while chanting β€œmake America great again” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will
twitch chat
December 2020

2020 US Election

I'm Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends

twitchquotes: Hi it's Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends, we would like to promote Michael Santana from Meme Secretary at the League of Legends to Meme Lord at our Department of Legends. Thank you for your time
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021

I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa

twitchquotes: You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa. I’m so disappointed. I look up to both of them and hope one day to get to get out of silver. If anything this is an extremely bronze, disgusting chat.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Regi storms in the TSM meeting room

twitchquotes: In the TSM meeting room, Regi stormed in with the fury of God by his side. As everyone tried to flee, the Monkey King channeled cyclone effectively knocking the new imports back to China, he pulled his staff out of his ass and knocked Tactical back to Team Liquid. Spica and Huni manage to escape, but they are greeted at the exit, a contract enticing them to stay for 100 FTX bitcoins. They choose to stay.
twitch chat
March 2022

League of Legends

This chat is awful

twitchquotes: This chat is awful, literally ass, except ass can bring pleasure, and this chat is the goddamn antithesis of pleasure. This chat takes life from children and kittens and puts that pure innocence into phallic pus. This chat is disappointment and hate of humanity funneled into barely literate text that takes intelligence and shits all over it before making a shit sculpture out of the souls of everyone watching this whore of a stream. Everyone in this chat is the dregs of humanity, if even that, content with postulating whatever ass talk they can squeeze out of the withered rectum of their wasted lives.
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr. currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now. Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment. Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries. While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum. No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society. The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat: ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€~ Kappa ~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

regardless of your channel, you need to remove your Pepe emotes

idk who needs to hear this but regardless of your channel, you need to remove your Pepe emotes. It doesn’t matter what your intent is, the peepee frog causes harm and I will never feel comfortable in your stream with them present.
January 2022

You're just typing in twitch chat

twitchquotes: My beautiful Hafu turns to me in bed and kisses me. Her cute smile fills me with happiness. Hafu holds me close as she whispers in my ear: "You know this isn't real. You're just typing in twitch chat. You're alone." "10/10 body." I miss lethal.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino

twitchquotes: Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino i solderino my weederino to the 420 lord to pay internet connection to play legenderino leaguerino. Plzerino notice me i playerin with 420 pingerino but im challenger 420 and i always end with 4/2/0 plz help me smokerino more weederino no copy pasterino
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Chairarrian's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ KΚ€Ιͺᴘᴘ, Ιͺα΄›s CΚœα΄€ΙͺΚ€α΄€Κ€Κ€Ιͺα΄€Ι΄. I α΄„α΄€Ι΄α΄› ᴛᴀᴋᴇ α΄›ΚœΙͺs ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sα΄›α΄α΄˜ ᴜsΙͺΙ΄Ι’ ᴍᴇ α΄€s Κα΄α΄œΚ€ Κ€α΄€ΚŸΚŸΚ α΄ α΄‡ΚœΙͺα΄„ΚŸα΄‡,Ιͺ α΄„α΄€Ι΄α΄› sα΄›α΄€Ι΄α΄… ɒᴇᴛᴛΙͺΙ΄Ι’ α΄…ΙͺΚ€α΄›Ιͺᴇʀ.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

My chat experience is ruined with dinger spam

twitchquotes: I for one am glad submode is on. I pay $4.99 USD a month to watch the living legend, Michael "iamacutepie" Santana, and I feel my experience is ruined with "dinger" spam, whatever that means.
twitch chat
September 2014
imaqtpie

George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was β€œsexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021

He is so incredibly narcissistic

twitchquotes: I’m new here but I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he dies to his own mistakes and lack of skill. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to make a good challenging level and that if he can’t beat it the level must be garbage. Unbelievable...
twitch chat
February 2020
Aurateur

Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb?

Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb????? None , their to busy ???? Their gender πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
August 2021

come on chat. smoke with me

twitchquotes: FeelsOkayMan 🚬 πŸ’¨ come on chat. smoke with me.
twitch chat
March 2018

chat will copy and paste any long paragraph

twitchquotes: i love [streamer name] so much. he goes live everyday and is full of energy. im not even gonna type anything that makes sense cause chat will copy and paste it anyways. the proof to my theory will be present if chat gets filled with this paragraph
twitch chat
October 2020

A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion

As a chef, it’s an insult to hear β€œair fryers are as good as frying”. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added. Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time I’m gonna smack the gob out of you. Edit: I’m in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill Edit2: I’ll never stop upvoting and loving you all but… but I’m just gonna go cry about something totally different.. Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an β€œextra air oven” as its a convection oven with extra fans. Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment β€œyou clearly don’t own an air fryer” I’d be able to put it towards a new toaster oven. Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isn’t high.. but never zero. Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.
November 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing