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You’re right, France does always lose wars to England. Except: The Norman invasion 1066. The Anglo-French War 1213-1214. Anglo-French War 1294-1303. War of Saint-Sardos 1324. Hundred Years’ War 1337-1453. War of the league of Cambrai 1512-1514. Italian War of 1542-46. The Rough Wooing 1543-1550. Italian War of 1551-59. English expedition to France 1562-1563. The Anglo-French War 1627-1629. Second Anglo-Dutch War 1665-1667. The Nine Years’ War 1688-1697. The American Revolutionary War. War of the French Revolution 1793-1802. Anglo-Spanish War 1796-1808. War of the First Coalition. War of the Second Coalition. War of the Third Coalition. War of the Fourth Coalition. And the War of the Fifth Coalition. But aside from all those England always beats France.

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static

Chungus has no beginning. Chungus has no end. Chungus is infinite. Millions of years after our civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, Chungus will endure. Chungus is eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. We are but rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. We touch Chungus' mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding. Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Our lives are measured in years and decades. We wither and die. Chungus is eternal. Before it, we are nothing. Chungus imposes order on the chaos of organic life. We exist because Chungus allows it, and we will end because Chungus demands it. Chungus transcends our very understanding. We cannot grasp the nature of Chungus' existence.

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.