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Kiwi's Father, Pineapple

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie, this is Kiwis father, Pineapple, I must ask you to wake Kiwi up ASAP, otherwise he will be late for kindergarten! Do it preferably with a loud scream. Pls no fruiterino pasterino
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Changing their username color so people don't notice

twitchquotes: There's 18,000 people watching stream right now, but there's literally the same 5 people posting the same *** constantly. All they do is change their username color so people don't notice. Such a shitty chat.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

I just smashed my TV because of the SPY

I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my house because of the SPY. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This sub has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye Powell. I am no longer a fan.
March 2022

WallStreetBets

How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
March 2021

Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
May 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

My donger is half my age

twitchquotes: ◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕ ɪ ᴍ**ᴛᴜʀʙᴀᴛᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴɪᴠᴇᴀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ʜᴀʟғ ᴍʏ ᴀɢᴇ ͡◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Michael Santano, you are a big SELLOUT

twitchquotes: Hello Micheal Santano,this is President Obama,just wanted to tell you,you are a big S E L L O U T,I used to raise my donger to you sir but no longer,do not copy this post or I will NSA your butt.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020

Stop posting useless stuff in chat

twitchquotes: Cᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴜɴɴᴇᴄᴇssᴀʀɪʟʏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴘᴏsᴛs ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ? Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɪs ᴛᴏ ᴛʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀɪᴛ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. Wʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ᴡᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴠɪᴇᴡs ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴜsᴇʟᴇss sᴛᴜғғ? Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ I ʙᴇɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ᴛᴏ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴏɴsᴇɴsᴇ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I can't wait for you to be our new maid

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie is Reginald Dinh here. I'm messaging to offer you a spot on my team. I think you'd fill the role very well, to be honest I don't know anyone in the scene who is better equipped. I can't wait for you to be our new maid.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Al Pacino's dongarino sweat is tastarino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's me, FrankerZ (from the pizzarino place). I'm back from my 600 second ban. I still have your faggarino pizzarino if you want it. Al Pacino's dongarino sweat dried up but it is still tastarino. Give me a call my number is 867-5309. Pls no copy pasterino dongerino frappuccino mochaccino pistachio. Your friend- FrankerZ (from the pizzarino place).
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Subs vs non-subs

twitchquotes: The best part about being a non-sub is that the chat spam seems real. If a sub is spamming it’s obvious they are just spamming for fun or to troll, because who would give money to a streamer they don’t like? By being a non-sub the possible genuine confusion and disinterest is actually there. And that’s something subs can’t get.
twitch chat
July 2020

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8?

twitchquotes: Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym....
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Kripp discovered one weird trick to look twice his age

twitchquotes: Kripp is the remarkable twenty year old that discovered one weird trick to look twice his age. It's called being VEGAN and it limits your body’s nutritional intake and makes you look and feel TWICE AS OLD. Why would anyone want to be vegan you may ask, well all vegans hate animals so they eat all the animals food so that they starve to death.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

CLG needs the DongerKing

twitchquotes: Dear Qtpie. This is MonteCristo. I just want to tell you that we would love to have you on CLG as our new top laner. You have the best ognTSMrototations that I have ever seen and even better mechanicanics than Faker. And your hair will give CLG new strength to win worlds. Please call me. CLG needs the DongerKing.
twitch chat
April 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Does anyone else bite their Switch?

twitchquotes: Does anyone else bite their Switch? This is not a shitpost, I really do this. I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get pissed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my switch for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Nintendo seems to have built the Switch with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp. What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching smash player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!
twitch chat
July 2020

Worry about a tree, miss the entire forest

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ And if you only worry about a tree, you'll miss the entire forest around it ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ-Sage Dong
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Sneaky please enable NODDERS

twitchquotes: Sneaky, I think of you as a very smart and somewhat educated person with great foresight. Many people don't see the appeal of NODDERS but the simple combination with NOPERS can exponentially increase the streamers and viewer experience. You, a man of profound wisdom regarding such matters will clearly understand and enable NODDERS, thanks. FeelsClassyMan
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Spooky story

twitchquotes: One day there was Man. He wake up in night time like 3 or 4 am in the morning, Much sweat from nightmare of skeletons!! He turns on his computer and waited for the screen to load. "I will watch Kripparrian to calm my fears" he Mumbled. As he click the URL the stream loads... but there is only skeletons... Plz no creepy pasta this spooky story
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing