I used to be a real ad
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Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries

twitchquotes: Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries. Before Energizer I would be listening to my walkman and the battery would die and then I could hear my wife in the other room having sex with you. That would lead me to tears. Now using Energizer the battery doesn't die as quickly and I can listen to your VODs that I ripped without your permission on repeat and not notice her taking it hard. I don't need to rehydrate as often since I won't be crying. Thank you
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

Michael Santano, you are a big SELLOUT

twitchquotes: Hello Micheal Santano,this is President Obama,just wanted to tell you,you are a big S E L L O U T,I used to raise my donger to you sir but no longer,do not copy this post or I will NSA your butt.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

gay brazilians

twitchquotes: Hi Bjergsen I am from Brazil and just like many brazilians, I am gay, and I would really like to have a bed time with you and listen to your cutie voice and perhaps do some coitus and engage and marry eachother. Our wedding would be in some favela of Rio de Janeiro. What do you think????????????
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

KappaPride

Worry about a tree, miss the entire forest

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ﾉ And if you only worry about a tree, you'll miss the entire forest around it ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ﾉ-Sage Dong
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

It's Raining Positivity!

twitchquotes: ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ (◕‿◕✿)ﾉ☂ It's Raining Positivity ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ﾉ☂ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Uranus is actually a planet in our solar system

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Just got back from a 529 second time out, and while I waited for it, I was busy doing my homework when I found out Uranus is actually a planet in our solar system! How cool is that! Please share this valuable information with Kripp and Friends! I'd love for them to get some knowledge Please Copy Papaloonie!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps

twitchquotes: Trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your *** tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will *** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re *** dead, kiddo.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

This means absolutely nothing

twitchquotes: ✞ĦЇϟ ℳ€∀Иϟ Å฿ϟϴℒÜ✝ℰℒ¥ ℵϴ✞ℋℑИḠ, Ї ⒿṲϟ† ШѦИ✝ ℙ€ѺṔℒ€ †☮ ℭѺℙẎṔÅϟ†ℰℝℐℵϴ ѦℵÐ ϟṔÅ♏ ✞ĦЇϟ ℭ♓∀† ℱÜℒℒ Ѻ℉ ℱѦḠ$
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
twitch chat
June 2020

Inflatable seahorse

twitchquotes: This deck is gayer than a malaysian transvestite f*cking a man on an inflatable seahorse
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to

twitchquotes: I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to. Your life is fucking empty, which is why you're relishing this little bit of attention you're getting from someone. You spent an evening tweeting inane opinions and reactions into the void. Let me know when reality kicks in.
twitch chat
May 2019

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.ᕙ໒(˵￣ᴥ￣˵)७ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Sneaky's bad TFT advice

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Zachary. My name is Inigo Montoya and you killed my chances of making it to Top 4. I listened to your advice when you said that Cavalier comp is “LIT.” Every time I play it I get a fast 8th. For that reason, Mr. Scuderi, prepare to die.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England

twitchquotes: Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England. I am revoking your knighthood due to your refusal to play Sion. Furthermore, keeping any gate is henceforth considered an act of high treason. Your insolence stops here foul knave
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED

twitchquotes: ATTENTION: The NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED in order to make room for the Gnomes Vs. Goblins expansion. We apologize for any dongers raised by this message.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump
What happened to this ad? :(

Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

In west Philadelphia born and raised

twitchquotes: In west philadelphia born and raised in the twitch is where i spent most my days, Spamin copy pasta and acting like tool, just watching Kripp mess up like hes a fool. When a couple of Trumps who werent any good. Started copy pastin in my neighborhood. They got one little warning but that aint fair. They said show us some skill or im just gonna spam.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

TOUCH IT KRIPP

twitchquotes: ╰U╯☜(◉ɷ◉ ) TOUCH THE DONGER KRIPP
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class champion decision making skills. There’s clearly something not right since you are the best player of Teamfight tactics.
twitch chat
June 2019
TidesOfTime

Teamfight Tactics

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So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
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