Popular Copypastas

China Salt Manufacturer and Casualarrian

twitchquotes: Hello Casualarrian, this is a your partner, china salt manufacturer talking to you. Yesterday i found a such a nice game named ＤＡＲＫＳＯＵＬＳ and i found it interesting. This is very casual game, as you like and i recommend you to try it out. This will make your stream views grow and our partnership will become ＷＥＬＬＭＥＴ

twitch chat

May 2014

I used to be a real ad

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?

June 2021

Kripp please supply the world with some salt

twitchquotes: Dear nl_Kripp with the Earth's salt mines running low near depletion. We can always rely on you for stepping up to the plate and supplying the world with some PJSalt

twitch chat

November 2014

If I only get one message ,I'll make it sweet and sharp

twitchquotes: I only get one message in slow mode huh? well, if i only get one message, i'll make it sweet and sharp. These authoritarian mods will not be tolerated. Hearthstone was based on the premise of the free market, and it has been corrupted by N A Z I mods in chat who are power hungry. Don't ruin the Hearthstone and twitch chat experience. Thanks

twitch chat

November 2014

Trump

I used to be a real ad

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.

twitch chat

May 2014

Greekeroni Philosopheroni

twitchquotes: hey qtpie i'm a greekeroni philosopheroni and i want to share my toughts. so far for me KAPPA is god KAPPA is in everything so we are KAPPA we are god this is my philosopheroni pls no kapparoni papajohnny

twitch chat

August 2014

Teta

twitchquotes: (ง'̀-'́)ง ᴠᴀɪ ᴅɪɢɪᴛᴀʀ ᴄᴏᴍ ᴀ ᴛᴇᴛᴀ (ง'̀-'́)ง

twitch chat

August 2014

EtrnlWait

If PLTR hits 35 today

If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself

December 2020

WallStreetBets

MIC VOLUME TOO LOW

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎｓｕｂｍｏｄｅｏｆｆ，ｉａｐｐｌｙｃａｎｃｅｒｄｉｒｅｃｔｌｙｔｏｃｈａｔ．ｉｓｔａｒｅａｔｔｈｅｃｈａｔａｎｄｓａｙｔｈｅＭＩＣＶＯＬＵＭＥＩＳＴＯＯＬＯＷａｌｌｍａｋｉｎｇｒｅｙｎａｄ

twitch chat

April 2014

I used to be a real ad

PETA must be alerted

twitchquotes: Last night at Greece's most prominent Red Light District, Kripp was seen pimping out Catarrian for very cheap. PETA must be alerted of this horrid cat prostitution ring hidden under this "Twitch streaming"

twitch chat

November 2014

Non golden chillwind yeti is unacceptable

twitchquotes: Reynad my lad, I'm quite saddened to see how drab your hearthstone play has become. Is that a NON GOLDEN CHILLWIND YETI FOR CRYING OUT LOUD? God save your barbarian soul, you filthy peasant... I was raised in an age where CLASS was valued. Im going to kaceytrons stream where i know ill find real quality

twitch chat

March 2014

Reynad makes me want to rub one out

twitchquotes: At first I thought reynad looked like a vampire hobo. Like, literally a really damn ugly guy. But the more i watch his stream, the more im attracted to him. Something about that hair... the clothes too big for his scrawny body.. Makes me want to rub one out.. hehe anyway thanks for stream reynad

twitch chat

April 2014

Meeting Kripp at the urinals

twitchquotes: hey "kripp" we met at the urinals at the taco bell in LA..i asked you if i could shake your donger and you never responded...please confirm and we can meet again thanks

twitch chat

July 2014

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.

twitch chat

September 2014

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD

twitchquotes: Yo QT, it's me... Scarra... I know what we said before and I hope we can just put it behind us... We need an Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD to come carry us. Peng Yalang just isn't doing it for us anymore.... FailFish

twitch chat

December 2014

Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you

twitchquotes: (Ɔ ˘⌣˘(˘⌣˘) Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you. (˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ C)

twitch chat

November 2014

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord 🤖+🤴 Jeff Divorcedzos 💔 Salmonella 🐔 Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🤡 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole 🥒💦 👉👌😳 🥒 Z 🥒 U 🥒 C 🥒 C 🥒 Tim 🍎 Bottom 🅱️ENIS Jack Ma MIA 🤷‍♂️ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods 🙏✝️

March 2021

WallStreetBets

How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste?

twitchquotes: Really? Is saying "Don't copy paste this" some secret phrase for "actually copy paste this". How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste if they ask you not to. Please don't copy paste this.

twitch chat

October 2014