I used to be a real ad
Sort by:

Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
twitch chat
November 2020

This is the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Vegan Police. We have reason to suspect the food you just ate was not entirely Vegan. Please prepare a stool sample promptly. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Stay negative

twitchquotes: (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Stay negative _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kripp is a sellout (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Chat is retarded _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kitty is dead (︶︹︺ ✿ ) _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Life sucks (︶︹︺ ✿ )
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

lul EU.... I guess

twitchquotes: Lost to EU in Twitch Rivals FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Worlds FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at MSI FeelsBadMan Only 1 NA mid next season FeelsBadMan lul EU.... I guess FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
December 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

You guys need to remove the American flags from the courtroom in NoPixel

You guys 👨 need to remove ❌ the American flags 🇺🇸 and seals from the courtroom 👨 ⚖️ in nopixel. your idea of court 👩 ⚖️ does not represent the American 🇺🇸 judicial system at all and serves only as propaganda 🧐 and is perverting the sense of the judicial system to impressionable youth 👶 . to protect yourselves 🩹 you should probably fix 🔨 it before it becomes an actual legal problem just a heads up 👨 🆙 considering you guys are European 🇪🇺
December 2021

GTA RP

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad

twitchquotes: SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad SMOrc c9 SMOrc gift pass
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Doesn't mean I'm a virgin

twitchquotes: 😡 Just because I watch Kripp 😡 doesn't mean I'm a virgin 😡 It's just a coincidence 😡
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

My son got kicked out of school

twitchquotes: My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2017

Brofist

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Kripp, here's a "brofist" for you. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Among Us wikipedia entry comment (The Amogus Effect)

To: Talk:Among Us The heavy amount of shitposting which satires the videogame "Among Us" seems massive and relevant enough to me to have some sort of brief mention in this article. As there is a lot of satire about whether or not Among Us is "dead" or "overpopulated by 5 year olds". Of course, this section would maintain the formal and encyclopedic tone of Wikipedia articles, but things such as the "Among Us Effect" As seen here:1st or in the Lego Piece 26047 (Image of the aforementioned piece, which looks like the Crewmate in Among Us. This internet phenomenom is so big that you can literally post the Image of a trashcan without any context and many people will get the "Amogus" reference But take all of this with a bit of salt. My goal here is not to get the funnies, but to make wikipedia a better place, and I think this is a way to do it, but If you don't feel like this is the right way feel free to tell me.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Citizens of Dalaran!

twitchquotes: Citizens of Dalaran! Raise your eyes to the skies and observe! Today our world's destruction has been averted in defiance of our very makers! Algalon the Observer, herald of the titans, has been defeated by our brave comrades in the depths of the titan city of Ulduar. Algalon was sent here to judge the fate of our world. He found a planet whose races had deviated from the titans' blueprints. A planet where not everything had gone according to plan.
twitch chat
July 2017

69 nice

twitchquotes: Oh you think you’re funny eh? Yeah you’re so funny commenting nice on a number that represents reproduction. Yeah so funny. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody came at your doorstep at 4:20 am with a bat that has 69 written on it? Yeah that will be as funny as your joke.
twitch chat
October 2020

You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

I’m a Zoe HATER

twitchquotes: I’m hoping Zoe DIES xD I’m a Zoe HATER because she’s so cute and EVIL! People get so trolled by her bubble and her voice lines are SATANIC, like the one about cake! She’s super DEGENERATE but also smarter than she looks, just like SATAN as a kid XD
twitch chat
April 2020

League of Legends

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

The ending of the WWII is AWFUL

So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of no where. And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit! Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten.
November 2020

single least favorite form of communication

twitchquotes: Honestly, 99% of the time, twitch chat is the stupidest thing alive. That and copypasta is my single least favorite form of communication, somehow being incredibly lazy and entirely impersonal all at once.
twitch chat
August 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Daily stock prayer

Time for our daily prayer: Our calls, Who art in PLTR, Perfect be Thy Timing. Thy tendies come. Thy expirations be done, on earth as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily Lambos. And forgive us of our puts, as we forgive those who buy puts against us. And lead us not into Debt, but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer

So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

This streamer believes that he has many different viewers

twitchquotes: This streamer believes that he has many different viewers, however it is really only me on many different accounts. To prove this, I will now repost this exact message on all my other accounts.
twitch chat
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing