I used to be a real ad
Sort by:

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

SPAM THIS TO HELP ZACKRAY

twitchquotes: KappaPride SPAM KappaPride THIS KappaPride GAY KappaPride TO KappaPride HELP KappaPride ZACKRAY
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

KappaPride

Super Smash Bros

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey

twitchquotes: As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!). They must, with Europe and others, watch over the captured ISIS fighters and families. The U.S. has done far more than anyone could have ever expected, including the capture of 100% of the ISIS Caliphate. It is time now for others in the region, some of great wealth, to protect their own territory. THE USA IS GREAT!
twitch chat
October 2019

KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021

its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad

We didn't start the fire (emoji pasta)

👫WE 😡DIDN’T🤪START❌THE😾 FIRE 🔥 IT 🤨WAS 🤬ALWAYS🤩BURNING🥵 SINCE 😧THE✨WORLDS🌍 BEEN😻TURNING
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

The D: emote has been banned

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch The D: emote has been banned from this channel ————————————————————————
twitch chat
September 2018

twitch removed Κappa

twitchquotes: twitch removed Κappa FailFish
twitch chat
August 2019

Bow Gnar

A Bow Gnar is a physiological phenomenon in which the Gnar at full Mana becomes firm with extra Armor, engorged with HP, and enlarged. Bow Gnar is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular, and endocrine factors, and is often associated with shapeshifter's bestialities, although Bow Gnar can also be spontaneous. The shape, angle, and direction of a Bow Gnar varies considerably between players.
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

I like spamming copypastas

twitchquotes: I like spamming copypastas. It's my favorite activity. When they're dank, I think to myself "yes". When they're removed, I think to myself "no".
twitch chat
January 2018
I used to be a real ad

Keep it, you need it more with all that salt

twitchquotes: `So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat

twitchquotes: Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat. We've been with him for 2+ years and he doesn't have the guts to say it. Or maybe he doesn't even really care about us after all we've been through. If Kripp doesn't say "I love you" to us chat, then I think it's time we leave him until he realizes how important we are.. BibleThump
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

RIP Hugh Hefner emojipasta

Rosa sat🚌 so I could walk🚶🏾 MLK walked🚶🏾🚶🏾 so I could run🏃🏾Obama ran🇺🇸🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾 so I could fly🙏🏽🦅🦅 Hugh👴🏻 died💀☠️ so I could nut😫🐇🍆💦💦 #RIP
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

haven’t done assassins in a while

twitchquotes: "alright, locket I guess” ResidentSleeper “haven’t done assassins in a while” ResidentSleeper “guess I’ll pick up this akali” ResidentSleeper “oh look, 6 assassins” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Erobb Observation Log

twitchquotes: Tuesday, May 4, 2021. Observation Log. Subject 2 2 1. The subject is still under the illusion he is a professional livestreamer. The NerdL initiative to get him to call his stream a broadcast has been deemed successful. There is still a substantially worrying problem. The subject will not stop fucking socks. End report.
twitch chat
May 2021
erobb221
What happened to this ad? :(

Another Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

October 2021

Moonmoon do it for yourself

twitchquotes: Jesse, listen. We all have trials. We all have difficulties. We all have these moments where we think maybe we can't overcome the obstacle right in front of us. But we know we can. We know better. Victory is within our reach. Success is within your reach. Don't give up. You will become the boshy. Do it for Eddie. Do it for Chat. Do it for Cloud. Most of all, do it for yourself.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA

twitchquotes: Hello @imaqtpie :) I really appreciate your honorable try to create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA. But one thing, dressing up as one is a little bit to much, isn't it?
twitch chat
March 2018
imaqtpie

Type :) if you have crippling depression

twitchquotes: type :) if you have Crippling Depression :)
twitch chat
September 2018
What happened to this ad? :(

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

twitchquotes: Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
twitch chat
June 2015

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing