Popular Copypastas

Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.

ｒｅｙｎａｄ ｉｓ ｄｅｅｐ ｉｎ ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔ． ＇ｄｏ ｉ ｐｌａｙ ｍｙ ｏｖｅｒｐｏｗｅｒｅｄ ｄｏｇ ｃａｒｄ ｎｏｗ ｏｒ ｌａｔｅｒ？＇． ｈｅ ｍａｋｅｓ ｔｈｅ ｍｉｓｐｌａｙ ｂｕｔ ｉｔ ｄｏｅｓｎ＇ｔ ｍａｔｔｅｒ． ｈｅ ｋｉｌｌ ｃｕｍｍａｎｄｓ ｔｈｅ ｆａｃｅ． ｈａｒｄｅｓｔ ｄｅｃｋ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｇａｍｅ．

༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?

Now little Jimmy what do you do if someone bullies you? "I-Ignore them?" Little Jimmy says. "NO!" His parent screams. The parent leans into his ear and whispers "Delete them..."

My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑢𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝐸𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑈𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑦𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑤.

I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.

I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.

2003-2014 R I P Kattarian, you will be missed. I know Kripp would do unspeakable sexual things to you off stream and he killed you in a salt rage after getting top decked and then tells us that you are "temporarily gone" but just know this, chat loved you and we know you're in a better place safe from Kripp's evil

Hey Kripp, its the "cocklock" you just beat. I'm on the phone with my mom right now, and she isn't very happy with you. She is coming over now to comfort me, and then we are going to have to report you to the police. I hope you enjoy jail.

༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽

I would tuck frump into bed every night if I could

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.

Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering “count every vote” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.

Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam

༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hello Kripp, my name is Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ We're gonna need some "Insurance money" or we're gonna break off your legs and cut off your dongerino. Pls no copy pasterino my frappuchino