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3% off of everything except my forehead

twitchquotes: Reynad ran crying out of the house. Knowing something was wrong, Frodan ran out after him. "What's wrong?" Frodan asked Reynad. Reynad replied with tears in his eyes, "Everyone was making fun of me." "Why?" Frodan said. Reynad barely eked out the words, "I can use promo code TEMPO to get 3% off of everything, except my forehead."
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

Donald Trump answers what is 2+2?

Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2? "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, "10101000101", on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you."
October 2016

Donald Trump

What happened to this ad? :(

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?

โ€ผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜กWRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo!๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ ๐Ÿ—ฟ Oh youโ€™re approaching meโ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“โ“But it was me, Dioโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
August 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

HELLO BLIZZARD I WANT TO REPORT A BUG

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ž BabyRage HELLO BLIZZARD ๐Ÿ“ž BabyRage I WANT TO REPORT A BUG ๐Ÿ“ž BabyRage MY OPPONENTS ARE ALL NETDECKERS
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian. Its Becky from the Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department. Although "E-Sports" has indeed become mainstream, we unfortunately have declined your application to be on an episode of Sesame Street. We have already filmed the episode where "K" is the letter of the day. Thank you for your interest.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Jade Idol, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat

twitchquotes: :christmas_tree: Jade Idol :christmas_tree: When this card enters the chat, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat :christmas_tree:
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

Only the saltiest one can hold both salts

twitchquotes: PJSalt ___ PJSalt only the saltiest one can hold both salt cans โŽ Kappa โŽ 
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Adapt created, quest activated, now we Jebaited

twitchquotes: Jebaited BATTLECRY OUTDATED Jebaited DISCOVERY OVERRATED Jebaited ADAPT CREATED Jebaited QUEST ACTIVATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited NOW WE JEBAITED Jebaited
twitch chat
February 2017

Hearthstone

Imagine spamming chat

twitchquotes: Imagine going to an online chat and spamming it with brainless text for no reason.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

twitchquotes: OpieOP ban OpieOP one OpieOP american OpieOP and OpieOP you OpieOP get OpieOP the OpieOP whole OpieOP mcdonalds OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

EU vs NA

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Start with something small like your intelligence

twitchquotes: I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

The phrase โ€œitโ€™s just a gameโ€ is such a weak mindset

twitchquotes: The phrase โ€œitโ€™s just a gameโ€ is such a weak mindset. You are ok with what happened, losing, imperfection of a craft. When you stop getting angry after losing, youโ€™ve lost twice. Thereโ€™s always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.
twitch chat
February 2020
Ninja

PUCK THE FLEBS

twitchquotes: PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

plebs vs subs

Your deck is insane, Trump said

twitchquotes: "Your deck is insane." Trump said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to top-deck me?" protests Kripp, as Trump blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. "Weak tempo play, Trump." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Trump places his Leper Gnome into Kripp's Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Subbin to Bjergsen when his emote is free

twitchquotes: subbing haHAA to bjergsen haHAA when haHAA his haHAA emote haHAA is haHAA free haHAA
twitch chat
January 2017
Bjergsen
I used to be a real ad

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Chat tries to convince Kripp to play Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿฟ Every minute, a poor weasel dies from starvation due to unemployment. You, yes, YOU nl_Kripp, can make a difference. By playing at least one weasel in every deck, you ensure a living wage for weasels worldwide. Then again, you could just let them starve, the choice is yours ๐Ÿฟ
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
August 2021

Classic

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, โ€œAlright, but catch and release only โ€“ Iโ€™m vegan.โ€ They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, โ€œGet down!โ€. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, โ€œFucking stream snipers.โ€
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(

Just taking Reynad for a walk

twitchquotes: โ•ญ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)โ•ฏโ•ฒ_____ PJSalt Oh, don't mind me, just taking Reynad for a walk.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Classic

salty

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