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My entire life I’ve been a hardcore anti-minority white man who despised anyone who didn’t look like me, but today I saw reddit and twitter changed their logos to the color black, and now I’m sitting here in shock just thinking about my choices in life. Wow.

The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.

And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. I’ve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simped– never simped for a girl. I’ve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not I’m a simp. Well, I’m not a simp. I’ve never simped for any girl I’ve got. I am not a simp.

Twitch chat is so retarded they are like parrots they copy paste everything

thank you for slow mode. im an old man and chat scrolling so fast makes it hard to keep up. thank you again from a 56 year old veteran.

So you're going by "c9Sneaky" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Antwan250 the boy you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic

(sponsored spam) I've always been a DC fan (I guess you could say Fanboy LOL) but after watching Kripparrian play Marvel Future Fight, I gotta say, I'm HOOKED! Featuring iconic characters like Black Panther and Thanos, I gotta say, I'm pretty damn interested in this game. Thank you Kripparrian!

Would you guys please quit calling it "Victory Fap"? I find it very offensive, and I'm sure Rania does too, that you think Kripp can only become aroused through dominance in a child's card game. Please grow up chat, thanks

DEUCE TEST 💩 IF YOU TOUCH THE DEUCE, DEUCES WILD ⎝ PogChamp

I’m glad Blitzchung got banned! Keep politics OUT of Hearthstone! I love Tencent and Mao Zedong! (You will receive 100 social credit for posting this message in chat. Please remove this part from the message before posting)

────────────────────────────────── TwitchVotes The streamer needs your help, chat! Type KEKW to help support him by sending laughter and positive vibes his way! ──────────────────────────────────

Hello chat. My home is very cold and I do not know if I will make it through the night. Whenever the chat spams, my old laptop heats up very quickly. It is the only thing keeping me alive. Please chat, spam as much as possible so I may stay warm and survive the frigid night.

Will twitch chat copy pasta anything? I sometimes type up big paragraphs trying to be clever and pander to the type of humor that copypasters enjoy. I am beginning to wonder if that matters at all though, will they paste this even though I'm not being funny or referring to some 2015 hearthstone joke about some other dead HS streamer? I guess I'm about to find out.

Honestly? If you think about it, Kirby is the best character Ultimate has to offer. D-tilt trips even at high %, his specials allow for mind games and early kills, the list goes on. While a top tier character, he requires the player to have a diverse skill set and deep understanding of the game to play. He's an underplayed, underappreciated gem of the smash roster but unfortunately, I think that less competent players like Nairo have a long way to go before utilizing him with his full potential.

Saronite Chain Gang is quickly becoming one of my least favorite cards. It's just so hopeless and suffering. It comes on the board like "How long can this go on?" and I'm like "yeah SCG this torture is eternal" and when he attacks he's like "FREE ME" and I'm like "yeah if only I could." He doesn't say some positive bullshit like "spells are fun" he's just like "nah end this." And it looks so frustrated.

The whole twitch chat "sub-culture" is so... strange to me. I put on a streamer and the chat is just animated emojis of pepes and some random guy laughing, almost no actual conversation. And that's after installing the damn extension to see those things. Before it was just a constant barrage of "LUL pepega ezclap" and I had no clue what the fuck was going on, or what a monkAS was...

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I’m sorry, that copypastarino is illegal in chat use as dictated by section 420.69 of the dank meme tribunal. Those in violation of section 420.69 are subject to immediate donger removal. Thank you for your cooperation. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง