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bad scp writers be like

SCP-โ–ˆโ–ˆ Object class: โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ Containment Procedures: โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ Description: โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆsubjectโ€™s genitalsโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
January 2021

Let us out lettuce points

twitchquotes: Lettuce (Lactuca sativa) was first discovered by Octavian Morosan in 2019. A leafy, green vegatable, he named it lettuce after the frantic cries from his wife and two dogs chained in the basement of, "Let us out!"
twitch chat
March 2019
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Can someone here add me on Transformice?

twitchquotes: Can someone here add me on Transformice? But it has to be later, my mom broke my PC hahaha. If boys want to add me just send a happy face, for girls that wants to befriends with me: send a foot pic. FrankerZ
twitch chat
May 2019

it will look like a copy pasta

twitchquotes: i bet if i just type out a paragraph plat chat will copy pasta it. literally there is nothing funny or interesting about this text but it is pretty long so it will look like a copy pasta.
twitch chat
March 2018

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad Iโ€™ve done nothing but think about her. I canโ€™t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. Iโ€™ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I canโ€™t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I canโ€™t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I canโ€™t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as Iโ€™ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this Iโ€™ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldnโ€™t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

F to pay McRespects

Ma'am, you may want to McSitโ„ข down for this. We are deeply McSorryโ„ข to inform you your husband has McPerishedโ„ข in the McLineโ„ข of duty. He bravely led a McChargeโ„ข against the Burger Emperor's Armyโ„ข, and through his McBraveryโ„ข we were able to hold the McLineโ„ข long enough for McReinforcementsโ„ข to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonorโ„ข for his McServiceโ„ข, and for his McBraveryโ„ข we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Mealโ„ข as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarineโ„ข Corps will never be forgotten.
January 2021

All hail Wildturtle!

twitchquotes: OMG Its The Real Wildturtle! The best player in the whole NA Server! We are so blessed to be graced with this stream. All Hail Wildturtle!!! Please copy and paste this to show the great Wildturtle our love!
twitch chat
November 2014
WildTurtle

You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021

Sneaky can you please try to win more games

twitchquotes: Sadge Sneaky can you please try to win more games. I told my friends to check out this amazing streamer and they are all watching today and making fun of me because I'm watching an one win streamer. I'm feeling so ashamed right now but still believe in you! Please prove them wrong
twitch chat
August 2020
Sneaky

No one RIOTS on my watch

twitchquotes: ฬฟ ฬฟ'ฬฟ'ฬตะท=เผผ โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ เผฝ=ฮต/ฬต/โ€™ฬฟโ€™ฬฟ ฬฟ ฬฟ[} ฬฟ ฬฟ ฬฟ ฬฟ^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. ฬฟ ฬฟ ฬฟ ฬฟ'ฬฟ'ฬตะท=เผผ โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ เผฝ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ฬฟ ฬฟ ฬฟ ฬฟ'ฬฟ'ฬตะท=เผผ โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ เผฝ
twitch chat
October 2014
Trick2g
I used to be a real ad

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, Iโ€™m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasnโ€™t fapping I swear to god I just randomlyโ€ฆ.. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021

All of twitch seems to follow you almost like a cult

twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youโ€™re going to be in a great mood all day, because youโ€™re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereโ€™s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donโ€™t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatโ€™s why you donโ€™t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. Youโ€™re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youโ€™re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youโ€™re going to have an exciting life now. Look hereโ€™s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youโ€™re going to love this. You donโ€™t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. Youโ€™re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnโ€™t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

That seals the deal. I am no longer a US citizen

twitchquotes: That seals the deal. I am no longer a US citizen. I have been a citizen since 1776 and a voter since 1804. I will not be voting again nor will I be around to see this country fall apart. Iโ€™m taking my talents to Somalia where it looks like they know how to run a real country.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

I HECKING LOVE BUYING ELECTRICTY

twitchquotes: BatChest I HECKING LOVE BUYING ELECTRICTY BatChest I FEEL SO PROUD OWNING THESE ELECTRONS BatChest
twitch chat
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Kripp wash your hands after toilet

twitchquotes: Hey @nl_Kripp , disabled former Streamer here. You're reacting pretty aggressive to your chat's worries regarding your hand washing after toilet. It seems you have something to hide. Let me tell you something: I was there too. I went to the toilet and didn't wash my hands. Nobody saw it, nobody would know it. But chat asked. And I lied. Then I got sick. My hands got infected from bacteria and had to be amputated. Now I can't play games any more for a living. Don't make the same mistake, Kripp.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Can I get my dick sucked by a tornado?

If you get pulled by a tornado, would the intense winds and stuff on your cock make you cum? And what would happen if that cum get thrown on something like a public park or near a school? Would you get registered if they found out it's your cum?
February 2021

Be careful, selling out can affect a stream near you.

twitchquotes: It has come to my understanding that our very own Forsken has turned in to a sellout. He no longer reads chat but only reads the $2 donations he gets. He accuses Frump of being a sellout, but is actually now worse than Frump. Please copy and paste this message to spread awareness. Be careful, selling out can affect a stream near you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

sellout

Wow, Youโ€™re an introvert?

twitchquotes: Wow, Youโ€™re an introvert? Thats so quirky and hilarious. What a funny socially awkward moment. Damn, you really are a comedy genius. Every time you say youโ€™re an introvert, i burst into uncontrollable laughter. I still cant believe it. Thats super funny man. You mean you would rather sit in the dark on your computer instead of Going outdoors with some friends, getting drunk and Drunk Driving? Wow. Surely you must be the only one like that alive.
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(

World War 2 in emojis

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜จ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโš”โžก๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒ๐Ÿšข ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณโ™ฟ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ’ฃโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿฆฒ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Žโ˜ข๐Ÿ’ฃ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ณ
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing