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zachary is no more. there is only cock

twitchquotes: sneaky's eyelids flutter open. on one side of his bed, his beloved, lynn. on the other side, his lover, meteos. he slowly awakens to his surroundings. "...cocks," he mutters as he walks to the bathroom. "cocks," he slurs as he brushes his teeth. "cocks," he says while in the shower, hands washing all over his body. "cocks," he says as he burns his food and decides to order postmates. sneaky's life is consumed by cocks. zachary is no more. there is only cock.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Obey the call of Kel'Thuzad!

twitchquotes: ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Minions, servants, soldiers of the cold dark, obey the call of Kel’Thuzad!ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020

Copy tagliatelli vs Copy pasta

twitchquotes: This is a campaign from Tagliatelli. We have been noticing sales drops as a result of people's choice of regular pasta rather than the much more tasty tagliatelli. Would you all please stop spreading copy pasta and start copy tagliatelli?
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

60 fps is too smooth

twitchquotes: Who cares! It is a scientific fact that the human eye cannot tell the difference. In fact i'd argue that 60 fps looks worse. 60 fps is too smooth, it's like petting a shark, the scales (frames) are too smooth so it cuts your hand (eyes), while 30 fps is nice and stable and gives you a better immersion because the frames travel a longer distance so the world looks bigger
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Daily WSB trader routine

1. Wake up 2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls 3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe 4. Fomo and buy the top 5. Watch stock Plummet 6. Sell, watch stock go up 7. Go to WSB and downvote everything 8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are 9. Stare at futures for 3 hours 10. Sleep & repeat
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Twitch Should Ban The Term “Live-Streaming”

twitchquotes: Twitch Should Ban The Term “Live-Streaming”. It’s offensive to dead people. My great grandparents are dead and I would like to show them some respect and have twitch ban the term “live-streaming”. It’s a slur used against dead people
twitch chat
December 2020

Sniperino

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽_•︻̷̿┻̿═━一 Sniperino
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Why are you rank 9?

twitchquotes: ┌| ◔ ▃ ◔ |┐ UH KRIPP..... why are you rank 9? ┌| ◔ ▃ ◔ |┐
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I, as a heterosexual man

twitchquotes: I, as a heterosexual man, would never feel attraction to another man. Not even a slim, supple young lad with hyper feminine features in the most endearing cat outfit you could possibly imagine. That doesn't seem attractive to me at all. If you find pictures of men like this, you can just send them to me so I know what to watch out for and avoid.
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(

Thijs please remove your shirt immediately

twitchquotes: Hello @Thijs this is the Belastingdienst - the Tax and Customs Administration of the Netherlands. We have founds some discrepancies in your tax return. In order to correct your mistakes and avoid getting a fine - please remove your shirt immediately. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Kripp is an enigma

twitchquotes: Kripp is an enigma. The RNG of this *** he's trying to do with General Drakkisath doesn't bother him ... but if some dude gets a good bomber in arena, it sends him into an emotional tailspin.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021

РУССКИЙ ИЛИ БУНТ

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ РУССКИЙ ИЛИ БУНТ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

SPAM THIS SLIME TO HELP C9

twitchquotes: SPAM BrainSlug THIS BrainSlug SLIME BrainSlug TO BrainSlug HELP BrainSlug C9
twitch chat
October 2018
Riot Games

Rhyme Chant

Kripparrian was sitting in his room alone

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Enjoy your ban and never come here again

twitchquotes: hey guys when i ban ur ass for posting fucking stupid ass spam dont fucking come to me crying "wahh hwahh i got banned i wasnt doing anything i just asked what build he was going" no u didnt ask that shit u fucking posted huge ass copypasta enjoy ur fucking ban and never come here again
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs

twitchquotes: 🤔 In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs? Or is each bug is giving him 1/10th of a hug? 🤔
twitch chat
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing